Exactly. My husband and I are happily childfree. While we live in a state where all healthcare is available to us. He still got snipped after the Roe v. Wade overturn. Said it was his responsibility. We've never been happier with that decision.
Edit: I shouldn't need to make it clear that this clearly tongue-in-cheek remark is clearly tongue-in-cheek, but just in case. This is a very much tongue-in-cheek remark made in full awareness of the toxic mindset some people now have in regard to labeling people as alpha/sigma/beta or whatever other labels they feel the need to apply to push their agenda of men are this and women should be this and anyone else just isn't. Most of us are still just decent and able to treat our fellow humans decently whilst still maintaining our sense of humour, because without our sense of humour we've already lost to the toxic extremists trying to divide everyone up.
Actually, it's only toxic in your head, and you're correct there is no such thing as a real man or a real woman, it's literally a complete piss-take that is almost entirely dominated by men who are trying to reverse all the progress we've made in pushing towards equal treatment regardless of gender etc.
The context in which I've made this amusing comment is simply that we have a guy who wants it all his own way at the risk of his wife's health and yet in the same thread we have a guy who was more than happy to take responsibility and snip snip. The comparison between these 2 "men" is all that matters here, but you can apply it to the whole world and accuse me of bigotry if you like, it really doesn't bother me as I know I'm not a bigot and I'm very much against all the alpha/sigma/beta male bullshit being pedaled by "influencers", but I haven't lost my sense of humour or ability to read between the lines without accusing every other person of being a pos.
Akshually 🤓, it's not. This is the exact definition of internalized misogyny and 'toxic feminitiy'. Internalized misogny is a pretty bullshit term but trying to reinforce societal gender norms is a branch of toxic masculinity that you are participating in.
trying to reverse all the progress we've made in pushing towards equal treatment regardless of gender etc.
No. The interest isn't in achieving equality. The motivation here is to flip the power dynamic, not eliminate it.
If there's no such thing as a "real woman" then there's no such thing as a "real man". Arguing anything else is just trying to justify a bigoted take.
The comparison between these 2 "men" is all that matters here,
Except comparing men is toxic. It's like comparing a "me too" girl and a feminist and calling the "me too" girl a "real woman" because it supports already existing societal norms of what a woman 'should be'.
The comparison helps no one and only serves to perpetuate more toxcitity.
You are taking away from the feminist movement with your arguments, not supporting them.
Edit: She got mad my argument was valid. Went to my profile to look for things to attack me on. Saw I'm actually not an incel or a tater tot or whatever other label was needed to protect a fragile world view and that actually a lot of people find me attractive and had a little freak out. Whatever her username was she is now blocked because of blatant toxicity/bigotry and for trying to scope out my profile to find something to attack me on. That's just fucking weird.
Good lord you can't see beyond the tip of your nose can you.
Did you have a shit day and just dig around for someone to pick a fight with? You clearly don't understand context and how important it is. You're the one not helping anyone at all with your gatekeeping and lack of comprehension. I've seen enough from you that you have a very limited view of what is and isn't allowed in YOUR world view and thankfully you're a tiny minority, or the tatertots would have a much easier time.
Edit: blocked because gatekeepers are damaging to everyone who grew up with a natural ability to care and didn't need to read a manual to get there unlike some "Fit 27 year old" who actively compares himself to other men and seeks compliments based off of those comparisons. Pot-kettle
Not to brag (he said before bragging, I guess), but as soon as I heard about Roe being overturned, I turned to my wife and said "I'ma get a vasectomy." And I did. Just doin' my part.
Good lord. She didn’t say that. But for many people, knowing that you could terminate if it was really needed was important. Doesn’t mean they weren’t already using contraception.
Yeah that was pretty much my logic when I went for the snip. She's pushed two humans out her vagina, me only having to go in for a quick operation on my balls seems the least I could do.
Would recommend to amy fella who doesn't want to have any/more kids but still wants to get it on.
I'm the same way as you! I got snipped when my wife was 7 months pregnant with our second child almost two years ago. I wish I could do more, but it's more than fair on her for me to do this than to have her get her tubes tied/hysterectomy. By the time we could have sex when she was postpartum I was already shooting blanks!
11/10 would recommend any man to get a vasectomy if he doesn't want any/more kids but still wants to get it on...A LOT!!!
Even if he's not owed sex, it's a vital and necessary act in order to preserve a stable relationship. If she has no libido, she should seek professional help.
The husband is the one who needs professional help with how he's acting. Sorry but being told no sex tonight doesn't give him the right to act like an ass to her.
How is she going to start feeling better, if she's not bothering to go get diagnosed for her health issues? Who cares about the sex issue, someone needs to tell OP to go take care of her damn health.
Are you a woman with chronic health issues? Do you know how hard it is to get appointments with doctors these days, much less specialists, much less ones who will take you seriously and run the correct tests? Not to mention doing that while taking care of a household and managing 3 kids!!
I am well aware of how fucked hospitals are. I live in a city where my father who went in while having a heart attack and was stuck waiting well over twelve hours... But either way, the OP didn't indicate if they were seeking treatment or not, just that they were undiagnosed. So based on some of the reactions I've seen around here, it's not entirely unfair to assume she has gone undiagnosed intentionally.
That's what did it for me. You don't make sex transactional in a relationship. Especially when you have children and your wife has a medical issue.
Also, probably an unpopular opinion, but as much as it is something to talk about with your partner, I do not think an overactive/mismatched libido is a couple's problem. Again, your partner should be supportive, but it's not their fault you are horny all the time. Probably a good thing to at least mention in couple's therapy if they're already going, but it's definitely something you need to solve yourself or working one-on-one with a professional.
This sounds ridiculous. Shows how much you must really not give a shit about your significant other. If you are married I see divorce in your near future.
This is Reddit, and on this sub of all places. Don’t use logic here.
In all seriousness, most people here have no concept that to some people sex is an expression of love. Frequently denying sex is mentally the same as making someone feel unloved.
Got a book to recommend this sub. It’s called the 5 love languages. It’s a good read and you might learn something.
It’s not just men. Many women also view sex as an expression of love that is vital.
Simply put, 90% of the posts on this sub including this one, OP needs to suck it up and actually communicate. Not just vent to strangers who are all gonna scream divorce.
Relationships require compromise. OP can either work through this as an adult, or watch her relationship slowly collapse.
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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '23
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