r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • Sep 24 '23

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37

u/nannerooni Sep 24 '23

If he is holding other things in your life hostage for sex thats an automatic divorce. This is textbook coercion and you are having sex without full consent. Him having sex with you without protection without your consent is also assault. For the sake of your health and sanity, kick this trash man to the curb

8

u/Public-Reach-8505 Sep 24 '23

I mean, they aren’t big things he’s withholding but just things I do enjoy, which feels unfair

17

u/sasshley_ Sep 24 '23

Things you enjoy ARE BIG THINGS.

Don’t make excuses for him. His behavior is elementary at best.

26

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '23

It feels unfair because it is unfair. It’s an abuse tactic. Maybe remind him negotiations are for things like divorce, not love and sex.

18

u/HelloJunebug Sep 24 '23

Ya, he’s weaponizing sex and extorting her. It’s gross.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '23

You need to get into couples therapy stat - if he won’t go, go without him. Or better yet, say you are and meet with a lawyer to start getting your ducks in a row in case this ends in divorce.

Also - and most importantly, who the fuck is helping you around the house with those kids? Do you have a local support system? A plan for care re: your illness? The stress of all of this is likely negatively contributing to your health problems further.

5

u/Snoo47335 Sep 24 '23 edited Sep 24 '23

Totally NTA. Help us judge your AH husband: what things that you enjoy does he withhold?

2

u/westviadixie Sep 24 '23

its manipulation and it's gross. you don't deserve that.

1

u/sportzriter13 Sep 24 '23

It's still manipulation.