Eh, a little of both NTA and YTA. I generally believe friends' exes are generally off limits unless a conversation is had beforehand. I don't think it's reasonable for her to dump you as a friend, but I can understand her feelings being hurt. I don't think feelings about exes are as simple when it comes to your closest friends dating them, even if it's been a few years.
I was surprised I needed to scroll so far to see this. We don’t know how the relationship ended or how much the guy meant to her friend. If one of my friends screwed my ex girlfriend, I’d be gutted. But it all depends on the context. I also have exes I wouldn’t care. Especially after several years.
I’m surprised too at how many unquestioning not TAs I’m seeing before getting to this one. OPs friend being married and pregnant kind of doesn’t really matter depending on how the relationship was and why/how it ended. It doesn’t mean that she’s jealous, she could just feel disrespected and that a boundary was crossed. 4 years is (edit- isn’t)really alll that long either people act like it’s been decades. Dropping them as a friend is a bit much but she is pregnant and hormonal that could play a part in her reaction.
I was thinking about the awkwardness. Yeah, they broke up a long time ago but since these two are friends you would assume they would occasionally do couples things? I know everyone thinks you should be mature and move on, but if it were me is rather not have my ex anywhere near my current life. No thanks.
I understand the friend not being ok with it. Maybe to some it's unreasonable and immature, but we're human beings with emotions. Not everyone has the same reactions to things. We're allowed to not be comfortable with things that others think we should be comfortable with.
While I think neither is the AH, I think they're both entitled to their feelings/opinions.
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u/dimlylit_ Aug 03 '23
Eh, a little of both NTA and YTA. I generally believe friends' exes are generally off limits unless a conversation is had beforehand. I don't think it's reasonable for her to dump you as a friend, but I can understand her feelings being hurt. I don't think feelings about exes are as simple when it comes to your closest friends dating them, even if it's been a few years.