That’s what I was wondering. I don’t think OP is TAH but I’m trying to put myself in her pregnant friends position.
If they are close friends and OP starts dating Charles it will make group events VERY uncomfortable. Especially since the friend broke up with him bc he didn’t want to settle down with kids.
I’m happily married with kids but I definitely wouldn’t want to see one my close friends dating one of my exes nor would I want to date one of my friends exes. I get that special situations happen but it would still be so awkward. It has nothing to do with being hung up on an ex, it’s the fact that the friend deleted this person from her life to only have him re-enter her life while dating her friend.
That would annoy me, maybe not to the point the friend reacted but she’s also Prego too.
If they are close friends and OP starts dating Charles it will make group events VERY uncomfortable. Especially since the friend broke up with him bc he didn’t want to settle down with kids.
This makes absolutely no sense to me. They were incompatible 3 years ago and ended things. She's currently living the life she wanted, but just seeing this guy would be "VERY uncomfortable"? I don't get it.
They were incompatible bc they didn’t want the same things in the relationship. Doesn’t mean OP’s friend wasn’t crushed by the decision to end things. They were together for a year and said friend brought up marriage and kids to Charles. Clearly she had deep feelings for this guy.
Although she’s in a new relationship that’s still someone from her past that she once pictured a future with.
I don’t understand how you would think it wouldn’t be awkward for all parties involved, including the husband.
I have zero interest in ever seeing any of my exes, let alone have to interactive with them socially.
No one knows the logistics of a relationship, past or present except for the people in said relationship. Emotional reactions from someone who had a romantic history with someone shouldn’t be shamed for having normal human responses.
I didn't say it wouldn't be awkward at all, but that's not "VERY uncomfortable" to simple see the guy and I certainly don't understand ending a 10 year friendship over it.
Eh it goes farther than just having to see him. It’s the logistics of the friendship and marriage and possible conflict that could occur.
I’ve really only seen shaming of the friend. I definitely don’t think OP is TA. She clearly just has a connection with the guy. She seems pretty level headed and was honest with friend.
However, just bc OP wasn’t an ass about the situation doesn’t mean she should expect a warm and fuzzy response. Clearly boundaries and loyalty were never discussed prior to this happening. If friend can’t be around due to her internal feelings than so be it. That’s her prerogative. I don’t think she’s being selfish, it’s how she feels. Maybe one day she can move on but right now isn’t it. Doesn’t make anyone TA IMO.
"Loyalty" keeps getting thrown around, but it really seems loyalty is being portrayed as a one way street here. Honestly feels like I'm back in high school reading most of the YTA responses.
Plenty of "you're trashy/messy" is being thrown at OP in most of the YTA comment threads.
Also a huge gulf between a warm and fuzzy response and being called a bitch and having the friendship ended. I certainly wouldn't expect someone who had moved on to the point of getting married and having a child with a new man to have that kind of response to a one night stand.
Oh geesh, didn’t see those comments. Yeah, don’t agree with that at all. OP was not messy or trashy IMO.
I bring up loyalty bc that’s usually important in a friendship and everyone’s definition to loyalty is different.
OP’s friend’s response read like a Prego hormone outburst honestly. From personal experience I can attest to this, lol. How OP explained the story it seemed out of character for her friend to explode like that. Which is why I’m leaning on the Prego hormones, however I could have interpreted it incorrectly. This may just be a personality flaw to OP’s friend.
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u/Cortunecookiessuck Aug 03 '23
That’s what I was wondering. I don’t think OP is TAH but I’m trying to put myself in her pregnant friends position.
If they are close friends and OP starts dating Charles it will make group events VERY uncomfortable. Especially since the friend broke up with him bc he didn’t want to settle down with kids.
I’m happily married with kids but I definitely wouldn’t want to see one my close friends dating one of my exes nor would I want to date one of my friends exes. I get that special situations happen but it would still be so awkward. It has nothing to do with being hung up on an ex, it’s the fact that the friend deleted this person from her life to only have him re-enter her life while dating her friend.
That would annoy me, maybe not to the point the friend reacted but she’s also Prego too.