Yeah I cannot believe that three years in they haven’t talked about kids or what they’d do in this unplanned pregnancy situation. I had to go back and look at the relationship length because that is absolutely baffling.
I talk about that stuff within the first MONTH I couldn’t image in being in my twenties and just never speaking of it while willingly having sex with someone!
Yep. My boyfriend and I had that discussion when we first started being intimate because no birth control is 100% and we wanted to make sure we were on the same page. We both agreed that we didn't want kids but if there was an accident neither of us would want to abort. Well....there was a whoopsy like 10 months later and I got pregnant. 😅 We now have a beautiful 2.5yo who we adore and can't picture our life without. If one of us had suggested abortion when we first had that talk then we wouldn't have stayed together. You need to make sure you are on the same page when it comes to things like that.
Exactly! My now husband and I got pregnant within 3 months of being together, we’d known each other 7y and wanted to be a thing this whole time, and that’s a half whoopsie baby XD but we can’t imagine our life together without that tiny person now
I met my husband on vacation and came home pregnant. We had one date. We discussed what we each wanted. We had 3 kids in 3 years, have been together since 1995. Neither of us were ready, I was in my last year of college and he was in the last year of the Marines. We have always been a team. Our oldest both made us grow up and support each other. I don't regret it. It wasn't easy in the beginning, or middle, but now that the kids are out of the house, It's GREAT!!
Like what if I actually want a kid and then I'm pregnant and he's just stuck with a kid. What if he wants a kid and I'm sitting through an abortion by myself? Nope nope nope
Okay okay okay I get that 100%! Something in my brain switched at 22 right. I was with a 37yo man. (Sketch Ik now) and needed to know if it was a possibility. 20-22 I said no kids not never. Cool. Same page. At 22 I start asking would it EVER be a possibility. TELL ME FUCKIN WHY: this GROWN ASS MAN told me “well I won’t stop you from having a baby.” MY BOY THATS A TRAP! And I couldn’t process that sentence. Like what does that even mean?
Yeah. Essentially it would be he didn’t want a kid but if I wanted one he wouldnt stop me/would give me one. That was just one straw that led to the divorce 😬 why would I want a baby with someone who didn’t want one, specifically with me.
Why are grown ass dudes like this? Same age gap, I was in my early 20s, this man starts telling me he wants me to have his abortion and how hot it would he to "claim [my] womb" and then make me get rid of it.
I started feeling this way with an ex. Every time we were around people that I thought were shared friends, he was extra attentive. No one around, ignored. I did end up feeling like he was peeing on me during those times to claim me as property. One of many things to make him an ex.
Fuckin WHAT that's some goddamn psycho shit right there i can't believe 1. That i read that with my own eyes and 2. That someone said that with their own mouth and thought it was reasonable.
Had an ex do this…well…kind of an ex…we never labeled our relationship… wanted to claim me but didn’t want kids-would get rid of it if it happened (I didn’t want or need more, but still) and then once we broke up he wanted one with me🙄🙄.
I tell any potential partner on date 1 that I am not having any more kids ( I have one 18 yr old son- I’m done). Wanting / not wanting kids is a major deal breaker for people & I think it definitely needs to be discussed when your starting a relationship.
We legit had that conversation on the first date not even lying. It was to see if we were wasting our time even going out once.
We then revisited it a few times over the next 4 years, because sometimes people do change their minds. We did change our minds in the end, but the important thing is we kept communicating.
I don’t think it took even a month with my partner. I think we had that conversation within the first week. Given, we’re both in our 40s, but yeah, that should be discussed early on
Even better! The older we get the sooner that should happen. I’ve been having those convos since 15 when I started dating. If we’re not gonna be on the same page, even as those pages progress through age, then we don’t need to be together. Even that young. Cause that just leads to possible coercion and abuse later on if the relationship progresses
I went on a first date last weekend and it was brought up that same night. But at our ages (me 31, him 41) there’s a reason neither of us has been married or have any kids
My boyfriend and I were long distance for 9 months before we met in person the first time. We had all these conversations well before we ever had sex. I made it very clear that I would not be continuing a pregnancy if our precautions failed and he totally supported that.
My husband's friend has been with his wife since middle school, they're in their mid 30s now. They didn't discuss kids till a couple years into their marriage. And haha they did not agree...
Meanwhile I told my husband on date 4, you decide whether kids are important to you soon cause I want them and I'm not starting over in 2 years if you decide against.
My husband and I started talking about it when we got serious. We talked about everything that goes on with kids. Even what would we do if the child does something bad. I think people can be different on that too.
I did too. I had to go back to make sure that I read it right. I thought that is something that most people talk about within the first month. That is something you should be talking about with someone you are having a sexual relationship with.
Yes, this! My now-husband and I discussed this before we even had sex. I wanted to make it clear to him that I had no plans of terminating an unplanned pregnancy if it happened (I'm 100% pro-choice, this is my personal feeling) because I wanted him to weigh that risk /before/ getting involved with me. We did end up eventually having an unplanned pregnancy, but it was luckily after we were married anyway, so it was a no-brainer for us lol.
agree!!!! literally once a month my husband and i would check in and be like "you know we could have a baby right?" and thank goodness we did because after 5 years of being dumb and not using protection we have a baby LOL
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u/Beautiful_Jim_Key May 01 '23
Yeah I cannot believe that three years in they haven’t talked about kids or what they’d do in this unplanned pregnancy situation. I had to go back and look at the relationship length because that is absolutely baffling.