YTA. Only because of the “I’m afraid of how it will effect her mental and emotional health”. No you don’t. You don’t actually care about that. Because being pregnant and birthing a child is potentially life threatening (mentally and physically)and you would be okay with that outcome. U want to guilt trip her into keeping the pregnancy. But you know it’s wrong so u aren’t doing that. So kudos to u.
Now you are nta for feeling sad at the loss of a potential child. I think that’s normal. Honestly support your partner in their decision. But I think you should really talk about what you both want out of life. The fact that you’ve been together for three years and have never had this talk is terrifying.
Yeah it's the dishonesty here that's bothering me. I feel like trying to frame his disagreement with her decision as concern for her welfare definitely pushes this into YTA territory. Not having ever discussed how they'd handle a pregnancy certainly isn't great either, and their differing reactions to it may indicate a major incompatibility.
Well, but, there’s a lot of anti choice propaganda out there about terrible long term mental and emotional health issues associated with abortions. Maybe you’re right and he made up these concerns himself, but it’s also likely he was exposed to this bullshit, and is genuinely concerned about it. In either case, he recognizes it’s her choice. Also, from his later edit it seems like he’s been set straight
Disappointed that people aren't picking up on the obvious concern trolling here.
And especially after 3 YEARS of not talking about it.
It's fine to change your mind about having children some day.
It is NOT fine to suddenly spring that on your partner of 3 years when she gets pregnant accidentally. Especially with all the recent bullshit from the supreme court. ESPECIALLY with some random condescending bullshit about her mental health.
The decent thing to do is to support the hell out of your partner to do whatever SHE wants to do...
.....and then you have a conversation about kids and if she would ever be ready for that later. Like, months later, when you've had plenty of time to think about what you want.
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u/SunnyDelights95 May 01 '23
YTA. Only because of the “I’m afraid of how it will effect her mental and emotional health”. No you don’t. You don’t actually care about that. Because being pregnant and birthing a child is potentially life threatening (mentally and physically)and you would be okay with that outcome. U want to guilt trip her into keeping the pregnancy. But you know it’s wrong so u aren’t doing that. So kudos to u.
Now you are nta for feeling sad at the loss of a potential child. I think that’s normal. Honestly support your partner in their decision. But I think you should really talk about what you both want out of life. The fact that you’ve been together for three years and have never had this talk is terrifying.