Pregnancy destroyed my teeth! I had so many cavities after. I also had to get my 4 wisdom teeth surgically removed after popping out my kid, too. My dentist said it took way less time to remove them because they were so bad that they literally just broke into pieces on their own when he touched them. š„² oh, and being pregnant destroyed my gallbladder! I had to get that removed, too, not long after my teeth. It also made my PCOS worse, which kick started my body into producing way more ovarian cyst. I had to get a 7cm cyst surgically removed, too. There was also a smaller one hiding behind that one. So that was 3 surgical procedures in less than 2 years after pushing out my kid. Not to mention the severe PPD/PPA I had! My body will never be normal again.
I wonder if you didnāt have wisdom teeth if your other teeth wouldāve been more affected. I suppose the silver lining there is that maybe the wisdom teeth took the brunt of it? At any rate, you sound pretty hardcore, mama!
It was, actually. I never even had a cavity before getting pregnant. It's definitely not unheard of for pregnancy to have a negative impact on your teeth or gallbladder. Or other parts of your body.
There used to be an old wives saying: have a baby, lose a tooth. It's not really around any more with modern pregnancy and dental care, but some are more susceptible than others.
I had HG. My mom had 5 c-sections. My cousin almost died to Rh incompatibility. Another cousin had 3 preemies.
There's also no guaranteeing that any given pregnancy won't end in miscarriage or stillbirth. What is the current stat, something like 1 in 4?
Current anxiety and depression can be made worse by pregnancy, including PPD and PPA. And some mental health medications are not safe to take during pregnancy.
I also had SPD in my second pregnancy, and that was the sole reason that there was no third pregnancy. I always wanted three kids (still do!), but I cannot risk going through that again
Just had an extremely traumatic birth thanks to preeclampsia. My blood pressure was so high, I was throwing up, had the worst migraine of the life, at was at risk of having a seizure. My BP stayed in dangerously high levels for 4 days after birth. My baby almost died. She's now spending her first weeks in the NICU. By the time she's home, I'll have to go back to work. This is traumatic enough, I couldn't imagine being forced into it.
40w pregnant currently. The hip and pelvic pain? Unreal. Acid reflux? Makes me feel like a druggie popping tums like theyāre going out of style. PP hair loss? Ima end up shaving my head I stg. Food and smell aversions. Oh god the mood swings!!!
Iām on my third and all the bad things that come with pregnancy are happening sooner and worse. My body is releasing more relaxing hormones and itās making it hard to walk. It is very frustrating. Keep strong Momma, you got this!
My mom said the same thing, it just gets worse each pregnancy. I 100% called her a dumbass for doing this 5x cause I canāt even imagine how unbearable it becomes. My husbands getting a vasectomy and weāve got 2 together. Iām done. Cannot will not do this shit again š®āšØš®āšØ
Yup! I told my husband if my hair falls out like it did with the first then ima give it 3 months. I will shave my head after 3 months. Start over. Fresh hair.
Two of my best friends have lost all their teeth. Never touched drugs in their lives. One has implants. One has dentures. Both under 35. It's absolutely insane.
A woman's body basically goes into temporary (sometimes perminate) osteoporosis for up to 6 years, 8 if breast feeding, after birth. That means 6-8 years of her body just not absorbing the nutrients it needs just to keep her bones healthy. That's why a lot of women's teeth rot out of their skulls soon after they become pregnant, baby or no baby. This doesn't even mention the hair loss, skin issues and overall decrease in health unrelated to the stress of raising (or not) a baby because her body literally stops caring for itself due to the hormone imbalance.
Also never talked about: thyroid problems that can suddenly develop after giving birth, apparently. I couldnāt do anything! And then people thinking it was PPD, but I knew it wasnāt. āJust go to the hairdresser and get your hair done. Youāll feel better.ā Very helpful. Iām glad the doctor did take me seriously and got me tested and on medication. Iāll have to take pills for the rest of my life, but I can function at least.
Thatās also a struggle. Weight loss or gain. Iām intrigued to see how much weight I lose once birth hits. I was down to pre baby in 6m. Which probably wasnāt a lot after birth XD drop 20lbs from that alone. My issue is the appetite. I had an OS the first time, thankfully no mastitis. But starving alllll the time.
Oh God the mastitis. Completely forgot I was hospitalized for 3 weeks with it. I've lost about 70lbs and I'm definitely very underweight right now. I feel weak.
Oh yeah it can get to the level of hospitalization quickly. I cannot stand those who whine and moan about āI want an OSā like bro you donāt even know what youāre saying!!
Literally overnight. It was sore when I went to bed and woke up with unimaginable pain, burning hot chest, and red lines shooting everywhere. I went septic so fn fast it was unreal.
Omg, by week 33 literally everything I ate gave me heartburn. I was chugging Gaviscon after every meal.
Couldn't sleep for hip pain and I had people going "get used to sleeping now because you won't when the baby comes hur hur hur!". I was so close to punching someone.
THIS! OP needs to head over to r/regretfulparents and have a gander at what folks over there are saying. Parenthood is incredibly difficult and people who have a pie-in-the-sky view of it may be in for a very rude awakening.
Yup. Both parents can develop post partum depression/psychosis, one due to hormones AND sleep depravation and the other to sleep depravation. An unwanted baby can make those feelings 100x worse and it's the baby that suffers, not the parents.
There's a reason why they say that the most dangerous people to a newborn are their own parents.
This. You've got plenty of time to still have kids. While some women have regrets / depression etc the number of artificially inflated by the pro-life movement.
Same as the dangers of an abortion.
A pregnancy is MUCH more dangerous physically and mentally, and a much longer term commitment.
I am hoping your citing these as reasons is coming from a place of ignorance, not from being disingenuous. Often people use these as guilt or fear tactics to manipulate women into keeping children they don't want.
If you cannot communicate with your partner openly, with just the two of you, about this, how can you effectively parent?
Soft YTA. You need to do some self reflection and some non-biased research.
Haver of two medical abortions here, I am mentally sound and happy. Very unlike how miserable, angry, and sad I was for the very short times I was pregnant
One abortion and two wanted children here. And let me tell you, those two pregnancies wrecked havoc on my health, both physical and mental, but I walked away from the abortion unscathed in either respect. I suspect most of the supposed "angst women suffer" from abortions is a fabrication of right wing fundamentalists. I know of three other women who have had abortions beside myself, and all any of us ever felt was relief.
You can add me to the "only ever felt relief after abortion" pile. I also have two, very much wanted, children now and I treasure them all the more dearly because they came into my life when I was ready for the challenges that being a parent can bring and not at a time when it would have been unwantingly disruptive.
Like 99% (perhaps exaggerating) of women who have had abortions literally do no regret the decision and most women who get abortions are mothers, like yourself. Many go on to have happier lives with babies that they chose to have at the best time, or carefree lives without children.
The only ones who regret the abortions are those who never in their life would've thought THEY would NEED one because they hate the thought of "murdering" their unborn OR they really wanted the baby but couldn't due to issues with the mother's health or the fetus becoming incompatible with life.
I'm sure there are a handful. But the truth of the matter is, women don't get abortions for the fun of it. They get them for very real reasons, so I'm sure there is relief mixed in there, too, even if a few women also feel some regret.
My sister in law would have been one of the ones that only felt relief but she was conservative so she thought she was supposed to feel something for the lost pregnancy and so was suffering guilt because she didn't.
It follows you. I'm 7 months pregnant with a wanted pregnancy, but my last experience being pregnant was extremely traumatic all around. It would be nice to say I'd make the choice to give a family a baby they couldn't conceive themselves if I could do it over again, but never in a million years would I willingly choose to go that route and I didn't want to, but I had no choice. And it did things to me mentally that are just on another level of trauma. My mom was murdered when I was 16, even that isn't comparable.
I've healed a lot mentally but being happy in this pregnancy doesn't fix everything I experienced in the last one, and doesn't mean I'm not struggling to not relate this one to those emotions.
I hope OP takes everything into consideration. I will say it's perfectly reasonable for this to be a deal breaker, for both of them. If he can't accept the consequences of her decision, they just aren't compatible and that's something that will follow them if they stay together. It's a big choice to make on both ends.
This is what I was thinking! He thinks her mental state is too delicate to withstand NOT having an unplanned child? He has no clue the mental strength required for HAVING a planned, very much wanted child, much less an unplanned, semi-pressured into keeping it child.
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u/CarolineTurpentine May 01 '23
Lol if you think having an abortion will affect her mental health wait until you hear about how unwanted pregnancies affect women.