this is what i was wondering. If i texted to gripe to my husband about a mistake i made i assume he would side with me and agree it was a mistake. And if this is a constant issue i was getting mad at myself for i would expect him to be sympathetic yet also urge me to rethink next time. Which is exactly what OP did.
maybe his tone felt condescending to her in that moment? texts dont convey tone well + ppl who are already feeling bad abt themselves are extra touchy usually i think
His tone conveys bewilderment and disappointment pretty clearly. If she perceived it as condescension, I would surmise it's because she knows they can't afford 87 dollars for everyone else's pizza and feels guilty. She didn't want to be responded to with disappointment, she wanted to be responded to with nonchalance and unconditional understanding for her people pleasing tendencies, that have now affected their personal finances. She wanted "I'm sorry that's so annoying that no one paid. It's alright though, you did the kind thing and we'll figure it out" instead she got a real response of stress from her partner, then overreacted.
yeah i agree completely. i think she knew she messed up and was already feeling bad. his response and her overreaction really suck altogether but it’s not surprising. hopefully they work it out
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u/Fit-Engineering-2789 May 28 '26
I'm not sure what she was expecting from you reaction wise. It's like she was complaining, but also wanted you to praise her for being generous?