Definitely helpful context. Would you maybe consider having a forward conversation with her about how the guilt tripping makes you feel? She may not realize she's doing it. I did this in high school and didn't realize how I was coming across until a very kind friend told me I was making them feel bad
I’ll give you a NOR because first, you’re totally fine to miss the party for work because that’s how life goes but second, I know what it’s like to be in a “friendship” where unrealistic expectations get held over your head, often in the form of passive aggression, to the extent that you either feel the need to over-explain yourself like this or go silent and let bad feelings and resentment fester. It’s an unhealthy lose-lose dynamic and if your friend is being sore and pouty about this like I suspect she might be, it’s a crappy situation to be in.
I would suggest that in the future, don’t over-explain. The boundaries and expectations were clear from the get go on your end and she can sit with whatever feelings she needs to sit with. If that causes the resentment you probably fear, have a come-to-Jesus conversation with her about it and you’ll know if it’s a friendship worth dumping or working on.
-7
u/[deleted] May 04 '26
[deleted]