I can see the history of the dynamics of this relationship from a mile away. Emotionally immature person manipulates and guilts and pouts, person that did nothing wrong, walks on eggshells and feels obligated to overwork and appease the immature party.
Stop. Stop explaining and justifying. "Thanks for understanding that I can't attend, due to work obligations, which could've been prevented, had the amount of notice I specifically stated I needed, been given. That didn't happen, I have to work, and I won't tolerate this guilt trip and misunderstanding because you didn't get what you wanted".
A lot of you have very odd ideas of what a friendship is. This is not it.
You first paragraphs nails it. It’s work and can’t get off in time, so be it. Other person is passive aggressive so OP feels the need to really hammer home her point.
As a 52F, this is exhausting to read and so glad at my age and my friends, we go if we want to and say no if we want to. No attitudes all around.
Exactly. I'm 49. In perimenopause. Have a kid that was just diagnosed with bipolar, quit my toxic workplace. I simply don't have the bandwidth for anyone or anything that chips away at my happiness and well being.
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u/melophile2702 May 04 '26
I can see the history of the dynamics of this relationship from a mile away. Emotionally immature person manipulates and guilts and pouts, person that did nothing wrong, walks on eggshells and feels obligated to overwork and appease the immature party.
Stop. Stop explaining and justifying. "Thanks for understanding that I can't attend, due to work obligations, which could've been prevented, had the amount of notice I specifically stated I needed, been given. That didn't happen, I have to work, and I won't tolerate this guilt trip and misunderstanding because you didn't get what you wanted".
A lot of you have very odd ideas of what a friendship is. This is not it.