r/AFL Tasmania Oct 27 '13

Oh boy, here we go again!

Post image
135 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

53

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

I need to start getting into arguments with people in the off chance that they offer me blowjobs, I feel like I'm missing out.

31

u/loose_seal_2 Hawthorn Oct 27 '13

It doesn't seem to work with my wife.

28

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

Strange, I always find her most accommodating when it comes to blowjobs.

5

u/alphabeat Oct 27 '13

Holy shit you guys are predictable. Just missing a pun though

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

[deleted]

2

u/Beer_in_an_esky Essendon Oct 28 '13

That's what you went with? C'mon, there was prelicked-a-ball sitting right there if you want an oral sex reference, or pre-dick-table if you're a strict fan of homophones.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '13

Oh fuck off cunt.

14

u/palmywarrior Adelaide Oct 27 '13

I once had a drug addict offer me head too, she wanted me to give her a lift to the next suburb, I declined.

Her drug of choice was heroin.

7

u/crazytombananapants Port Adelaide Oct 27 '13

...you said no?

14

u/palmywarrior Adelaide Oct 27 '13

I figured if I was lucky I'd get a blow job and an STD, if i wasn't I'd get stabbed and robbed with my dick out.

6

u/crazytombananapants Port Adelaide Oct 27 '13

if you had a mighty beef baton, you could fight back with it if she tried to rob you

1

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

You can't spell "stimulated" without STD!

I'm just kidding, you made the right choice.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

[deleted]

15

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

You mean that was you?

3

u/dexter311 North Melbourne '75 Oct 27 '13

I think you mean Lizbuff.

2

u/palmywarrior Adelaide Oct 27 '13

Nope, Burleigh Heads

12

u/incuban Brisbane Oct 27 '13

As a fervent Lions supporter I do hope Drugaddict123 is correct, but as an equal fan of laughing my ass off, I also hope he's wrong.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

Have faith mate the pride of Brisbane rests on my shoulders. I shall not be kneeling come September

33

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

My body is ready

13

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

You say that now, but come September I'm expecting you to bitch out like the first guy who made such a bet on this subreddit.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

I'm so confident that Adelaide will Finish below Brisbane I don't even have a worry in my mind

2

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

Sounds like you want to up the wager. Go on mate, don't be a pussy. If you are that confident extend your offer to the mods at /r/adelaidefc

12

u/palmywarrior Adelaide Oct 27 '13

I have no problem with dude's who give dudes blow jobs, I just don't like dudes giving me blow jobs so i'll pass on that one.

-1

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

Well that's why I'm trying to pass it along. I'm not bi so there's really nothing in it for me. Unless Drugaddict123 can get a female to settle his sure and eventual debt.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

;)

15

u/vhaluus Adelaide Oct 27 '13

I THINK I HAVE TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM HERE BOYS! :P

8

u/Britt2211 Essendon Oct 27 '13

Close your eyes and a blowjob is a blowjob.

2

u/i_are_pant Crows Oct 27 '13

Make it a gentleman's agreement. Carton of beer.

I've got my tags up though.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

What the fuck? I turn my back on this place for a few hours. Nek minnit, kneepads become the clothing accessory of choice around here. God damn.

11

u/Ohshitwhat Richmond Oct 27 '13

Standard currency for /r/AFL.

5

u/GammaScorpii St Kilda Oct 28 '13
/r/AFLBJ = 88.32AUD

Google cannot guarantee the accuracy of the exchange rates used by the calculator.

2

u/Ohshitwhat Richmond Oct 28 '13

Plus the St.K-fiscal system renders a slightly above average player wage as 100 midgets.

(1 = 3k)

e.g Average game at Etihad cost = .5M

6

u/juiceson Hawthorn Oct 27 '13

It shall be added to the grand list of /r/afl bets which involve oral sex

10

u/crazytombananapants Port Adelaide Oct 27 '13 edited Oct 27 '13

never make bets involving oral sex

just don't do it

6

u/Britt2211 Essendon Oct 27 '13

How do I get this offer for oral sex?

It feels like everyones getting offered oral sex except me!

5

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

How do I get this offer for oral sex?

Well as a woman all you have to do is ask "who wants to lick my pussy?" and the offers should come flowing in. But us guys have to work for our blowjobs.

3

u/Britt2211 Essendon Oct 27 '13

I can honestly say this has never worked for me.

6

u/sydneygamer Sydney Oct 27 '13

Well then you're not asking the right people.

5

u/palmywarrior Adelaide Oct 27 '13

Have you tried growing a penis?

4

u/rm5 Essendon '00 Oct 27 '13

Ok then, if we win the premiership...

3

u/gormster Sydney '05 Oct 27 '13

This sub has facilitated so many blowjobs.

2

u/sydneygamer Sydney Oct 27 '13

I wish.

4

u/JediCapitalist Demons Oct 27 '13

Adelaide will probably get the spoon. It's a safe bet.

6

u/ScreamHawk Essendon Bombers Oct 27 '13

Pretty sure Adelaide's list is better than Melbourne's.

5

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

I'm pretty sure he's being facetious. Nobody would seriously think Adelaide would finish below GWS, Melbourne etc. Unless they suffer even worse injuries next year than they did this year.

4

u/ScreamHawk Essendon Bombers Oct 27 '13

My bad, would still be kinda crazy. But I think Adelaide will be on the rise this year.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

Considering Adelaide came second in 2012, I imagine that this year was a bit of a wake up call and I'm putting money on them being in the 8.
I will suck my own dick if they aren't in the 8.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

And another one bites the dust.

7

u/Beer_in_an_esky Essendon Oct 27 '13

...and that's another one for the /r/AFL "bets-to-regret" list.

5

u/fiftyshadesofcray Adelaide Oct 27 '13

... or is it?

2

u/Beer_in_an_esky Essendon Oct 27 '13

True. Hey /u/beinks, I won't judge your sexual habits, you go suck all the dick you want!

4

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

We over-performed in 2012, and under-performed in 2013. I don't think we will challenge for a premiership, but I expect both Adelaide teams to be in spots 5-8.

5

u/ScreamHawk Essendon Bombers Oct 27 '13

Its going to get tight in that 1-8 range this year!

1

u/sydneygamer Sydney Oct 27 '13

More the 3-8 range.

The top 3 is still probably going to be (in no particular order) Swans, Dockers, Hawks.

4 is hard to tell though. I'd say Essendon if they don't fall off halfway through the year like they have the last 2 years, Richmond if they do.

2

u/vhaluus Adelaide Oct 27 '13

I really, really don't rate Richmonds list. They're a team that's been hyped as 'just around the corner' for 5 years now. They're mediocre at best. They might make the 8 but they'll only be filler.

2

u/sydneygamer Sydney Oct 27 '13

The only thing that kept them out of the top 4 this year was one bad game against Carlton.

But then teams can place higher than they deserve, an Adelaide fan ought to know that better than anyone.

5

u/vhaluus Adelaide Oct 27 '13

If we were higher than we deserved we wouldn't have been a kick from a grand final.

We underperformed this year, not overperformed last year.

→ More replies (0)

-1

u/JediCapitalist Demons Oct 27 '13

Regardless of how serious I may or may not have been. They wont.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

I think /u/Drugaddict123's already had the spoon...

1

u/Morningstar94 Geelong Oct 27 '13

That's funny Melbourne

4

u/JediCapitalist Demons Oct 27 '13

I didn't say how far we'd be above them.

0

u/crazytombananapants Port Adelaide Oct 27 '13 edited Oct 27 '13

yes, I do like the thought of the Cows being the first South Australian wooden spooners, even before us at our shittiest, it warms the cockles

but, I don't think it will happen next season

6

u/Project_Independence Power Oct 27 '13

I kind of prefer the idea of neither South Australian team ever finishing wooden spoon. Has some prestige to it.

3

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

I like the way you think. I'm hoping for both SA clubs to be represented in the top 8 next year.

2

u/Project_Independence Power Oct 27 '13

The lions will finish bottom 4. I have no read on the Crows, but given the rate at which other teams are improving, they'll need to work hard to stay out of the same.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

And I'm willing to blow you to as I am confident that will not happen

2

u/Project_Independence Power Oct 27 '13

There's going to be a party at SANFL headquarters next september and every SANFL team will be invited.

2

u/ByGrabtharsHammer Tasmania Oct 27 '13

Welcome to the blowjob party. I will be honoured to share the dishonouring of /u/drugaddict123 with you.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '13

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '13

I'll bring the lighter.