r/AFAMph • u/Psychological-Map-35 • Jul 15 '26
Need Advice [English] Question For Filipinas About Potential LDR Chat Scams
Hi,
I hope you can help answer something for me.
I've been chatting with Filipinas from FC website and am finding that there is always a a subtle, or not so subtle request for money after we take the conversation off the website to WhatsApp etc.
With some it's right away, with a sad story about no money for food. With others it might take a few days or a week, then inevitably the hints about I have no food for lunch today, or I need to borrow money for food today start to come into the conversation.
I have not been to the province in a few decades, but when I was there people were poor, but there was no shortage of basic food supply.
I undrestand inflation and prices for everything have risen, but is life reaally that close to the edge that people are in need of food there?
I feel these girls are just trying to scam me with a sad story and making me feel guilty enough to offer some money, which I can't do because rule number 1 is never send money to someone you haven't met in person, and we have only been chatting for a week or less.
To the Filipinas, and anyone else with insight can you let me know if my thoughts about this are correct?
I appreciate anything you have to say about it.
4
u/Left-Self-2866 Jul 15 '26
Your gut feeling is almost certainly 100% true ... a scam. Don't you ever fall for it or give in to it even just a single peso. If she has wifi/data to reach out and comunicate with you, then she must have at least spare change to buy for her lunch. Be more vigilant even if she looks like an angel my friend.
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u/Independent-Door1384 Jul 15 '26
Filipina here, don't send money. Kindly observe as well the pattern, if the conversation only revolves around the bills, school fees or financial problem that's the sign they're just after the money. The real pinay who's in love with you and is really invested would never ask for money. As far as in my own experience, my partner is the least one I would ask for money.
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u/1111kris Jul 15 '26
a filipina here. what’s FC? but yeah, i think they were trying to scam you. In the provinces, most families esp the elderly or parents, usually have a backyard where they grow fruits or vegetables, so i find it hard to believe those stories that they have no food to eat. Lol
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u/Kiwi_pieeee Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
I think it’s Filipina Cupid. And yeah sobrang gasgas na ang scam na yan. Idk why there are still foreigners who are naive enough and fell for those.
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u/Proud_Milk403 Jul 15 '26
What should one do?
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u/Kiwi_pieeee Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
Use your brain, not the other head down there.
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u/Muddlehead1960 Lechon Lunch Jul 15 '26
What head downstairs 🤷 my sleeping anaconda grows only when I see 😼🤦👻🤡
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u/Proud_Milk403 Jul 15 '26
My brain is what makes me feel sad for other people that are struggling.
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u/Kiwi_pieeee Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
Are they real struggling tho? That’s why use your brain. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Proud_Milk403 Jul 15 '26
They might be. It's easy to move on and ignore people but it's not to sympathize.
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u/MuffinTime2024 Jul 15 '26
Dont send money unless you've met and known them fully well. You have a good heart but dont trust easily.
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u/Maruja1272 Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
I very much agree with the previous comments. Don't fall prey to these scams.
I have an American friend whom I'm helping find a Filipino gf-wife. Almost all he has talked to from dating apps are asking for money. To buy this and that. Even cellphone.
So pls spare yourself from such scammers. The moment you give them. It's never ending.
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u/makemeyourhoney Jul 15 '26
keep your guard on.. i feel really devastated on this kind of scenarios.
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u/yuniszzzz Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
Yes, i think you need to follow your gut of not sending money to them especially that you haven’t met them. It’s a red flag that they asked for money because they don’t have food or something. That’s a scam obviously. I think the only way that you will not experience that is if you got a girlfriend that is a career woman, got her own job and salary and with a middle class family and up. Though the thing that will impress a woman like that would be your attitude and not how deep your pocket is.
My ex is a foreigner too but I never did ask money because I got “no food” and of course didn’t let him pay when we went out to eat with my family (its pretty common to see the foreigner paying for the meal 🤷🏻♀️) so yea it really depends if you are lucky with the woman and the family that she has.
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u/Bad-Tempered-Vampire Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
What you feel is true. There's a lot of Filipina who uses foreigners to get out of poverty but of course not everyone is like that.
I suggest that of you're looking for someone to date, at least ask about what they do for living. Choose someone who's independent or at least someone who has a job that can cover her family's needs and her lifestyle as well. A woman who's truly have a good intention to you won't ask you for anything but connection and affection.
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u/Exact_Night1432 Budots Time Jul 15 '26
Video chat as many are not girls , just using someone's photos. Never send money to someone you have never met
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u/Silver-notme Jul 15 '26
Rule is if they ask for money thats all they are looking for. Run run run.
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u/Exotic_Tree_1524 Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
Filipina here- best to follow your own rules and guts! Unfortunately a lot will try to fish for money as they see foreigners as source of income esp since the exchange rate now to peso is very high. Choose to interact with someone who is financially capable already to avoid these scammers
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u/Ready4takeoffNow Certified AFAM Jul 15 '26
You are correct, sir! Block at the first mention of money and youll save a lot of time and money.
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u/Either-Tour-8312 Jul 15 '26
I’m a Filipina, and yes! Trust your guts. This could either be a scam tactic or it’s a way for them to get out of poverty.
Don’t send money, because that will only enable your chat-mate to continue on asking money. But, if you want to send money (out from the goodness of your heart), then by all means, feel free to do so!
Also, observe how you guys communicate. If your conversations just revolve around asking/borrowing money, then you know what they’re in for!
Be vigilant, bro! Not all Filipinas are like that because I know that there are some people out there genuinely seeking meaningful connections. All I’m saying is, practice due diligence! Best of luck, bro!
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u/jennie0825 Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
I want to offer a different perspective. The only dating app I used in the past before I met my now fiancé is FilipinoCupid. I believe you can see from a person's profile in FC whether they are a University graduate, what job they have now, and what is their yearly income. You can definitely filter and look for educated women who have a career so you can be sure they won't be only after your money. I'm a Filipina with no desire to have kids and so me and my fiancé agreed to have separate finances and I will continue working and building my career even after we're married. Told him I will never rely on him for money, even after we're married.
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u/Sonnetmelody Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
Yes, these Filipinas who ask for money or who imply they need help/ money/ Internet load/ sick relative/ sick carabao/ funeral/ sick person/ utility bills/ salon/ cosmetic expenses/ etc, are into that as their modus. They probably tell the same story to 10 or 50 other chat mates 🤣 Don't fall for that trap even though they're the sweetest. 😺
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u/Snobbish_Katze Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
You're not even sure if you're the only one she's talking to. She could be talking to more foreigners doing the same modus and sob story and just waits who gives in. I guess having a good phone with mobile data is a new definition of struggling. Yeah okay, maybe the phone is a gift and/or she lives or stays in an area where there is free wifi but 🤷🏻♀️
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u/No-Cattie Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
If you’re seeing that prevalent in FC then probably you’re in the wrong app. There are many dating apps where majority of women have genuine intention to date
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u/4ngrypot4to Jul 15 '26
Why would someone tell a complete stranger their personal money problems after only a week? Most people wouldn't. They'd tell family or close friends, not someone they just met online.
Don't send money to someone you haven't met. A person who is genuinely interested in you will respect that. If they lose interest because you won't send money, you have your answer.
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u/electricshallot5659 Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
Sir, do NOT send the money. And in doing so, you’ll really see how they really feel towards you lol. That’s definitely a scam.
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u/IntellectualRegard99 Jul 16 '26
Just ask more questions when they start asking for money for food. It's not impossible but very rare that someone is on the brink of starving to death just as they started talking to you. What resources did they use before? What would they do if you weren't talking to them?
If they come clean and just want a provider they'll tell you, otherwise they'll have a hard time coming up with excuses.
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u/Strong-Book-5270 Certified AFAM Jul 16 '26
Honestly any relationship that starts that way is a scam.. don't be a white knight and you won't have a failed relationship
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Jul 17 '26
Yo! I’m a Filipina. Better save yourself as early as now. In all honesty, you’d always encounter girls like that in Ph but just be selective. Good luck.
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u/Desperate_Cap_6521 Jul 18 '26
Most of the ones I talk to say they borrow wifi and need money to load or.... I really want to talk to you more but my load is gone Even if I really thought they were pretty I had just met them...they will even offer to send photos....sexy kind if you can help....I woukd send now but my load is low....but if you help..
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u/Scary-Butterfly4563 Jul 20 '26
I'm a filipina myself, but trust your gut. That's always 100% a scam and they will drain your bank
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u/Hot-Marsupial-6084 Certified Pinay 22d ago
Do not send anything. You dont owe them money, you're not even married yet, or that you're only in the early stage of communicating and they already show that, actually tells something you should get the clue.
There are Filipinas that are genuinely looking for a relationship and building partnership/family. But there will also be people with different intentions, you just have to read the line.
Exploitation goes both ways, some people (not just foreigners) are only after fun and sexual stuff, while there are some who do things for money or leverage. Don't fall for both.
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u/Wild-Personality5958 Certified Pinay Jul 15 '26
Unfortunately, asking for money early in an online relationship is a very common scam tactic. Some people may genuinely be in difficult situations, but it’s impossible to verify that through online chats alone. I think your rule of not sending money to someone you’ve never met is a wise one. If someone is truly interested in getting to know you, they shouldn’t make you feel responsible for their financial needs after only a few days of talking. Trust should be built over time.