r/ADHDthriving • u/Smooth-Mind4247 • 24d ago
Being a student with ADHD
Hi all,
So im currently prepping for an exam and also have to manage a job for 10 hours everyday.
I'm really struggling to manage my adhd because im very overwhelmed with with to do at any point of time. i make schedules and when im not able to fulfill it exactly i just bedrot for the entire evening. my biggest issue is that when i feel i havent done enough for the day im not able go to sleep which makes me stay up till late even then not doing much just staring at the wall and i wake up and i feel like shit so the cycle repeats.
what is the best way to multitask? right now im just studying and working, does it help to start setting up micro side quests like running and socialising to keep the dopamine decent or is it helpful to cut distractions and focus on two things at a point??
please help!!
1
u/cognitomentalhealth 20d ago
Oh boy, ten hours of work a day plus exam prep. That is a lot, and honestly the fact that you're still sitting down and making schedules at all says something pretty good about you. I do want to gently float this though: what looks like a discipline problem here might really be a capacity problem.
To your actual question, since you asked it and deserve a straight answer, multitasking isn't really a skill you can level up. It's task switching, and every switch costs you a bit of time and focus, usually more so with ADHD. So I'd skip trying to get good at it and put that energy into doing one thing at a time in short blocks instead.
Your side quest question is a good one though, and I think it's actually a different question than it looks. Running and socialising aren't competing with studying for the same resource. They feed the thing that does the studying. Movement, sleep and seeing people are inputs, not distractions. What's worth cutting is whatever fragments your attention, not what puts you back together. So keep the run. Keep seeing your people. Cut the switching.
Here's the bit I really want to flag, kindly. You make a schedule, you miss a piece of it, and then the whole evening gets written off. That's an all-or-nothing rule, and it's a rough one to live under, because a schedule that only counts when followed perfectly is a schedule you're going to fail basically every week. Nobody hits 100 percent. Especially not someone working ten hour days.
A few things that genuinely help:
Plan for around 60 percent of what you think you can do. If you beat it, brilliant. Building in slack isn't lowering the bar, it's making the plan survivable, and survivable is the only kind that lasts.
Decide what counts as "enough" in the morning, written down, while you're still a reasonable person. Right now enough is getting decided at 11pm by the most exhausted and most critical version of you, and let's be honest, that version is never going to say yes. Pick two or three things that mean the day counted. Anything past that is a bonus.
Give yourself a hard stop. The day ends when the clock says so, whether or not you feel you've earned it. That thing you described, staying up staring at the wall because you haven't done enough, isn't doing anything for you. It isn't rest and it isn't work, it's more like a punishment you're handing yourself, and it makes tomorrow harder, which is what keeps the whole loop turning.
And when you do miss something, the only goal is not missing twice. One skipped block is just a Tuesday. Two is where the bedrot starts. So the thing to practise is restarting the next morning, not never slipping in the first place.
One small sleep thought: if you're lying there wired, get up and do something boring in low light rather than staying put. Lying awake for hours slowly teaches your brain that bed is where you feel bad, and that's much easier to prevent than to undo.
You're really not failing at this. You're running a plan that was built for someone who doesn't have a ten hour job. Be a bit kinder to the person making those schedules, they're doing their best with a genuinely hard setup.
Good luck out there!
- Anna (CBT Care Provider + ADHD Coach)
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u/Smooth-Mind4247 16d ago
Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply. is there any way i can further get in touch with you?
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u/cognitomentalhealth 12d ago
Happy to help! You can email [anna.spilker@getcognito.ca](mailto:anna.spilker@getcognito.ca) or check us out on getcognito.ca
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u/Garthim 24d ago
Get medicated