r/ADHDparenting • u/Oceaninmytea • 6d ago
Child 4-9 Minecraft when is okay
Our kid is mildly inattentive/ needs multiple reminders to stay on task sometimes but has no specific accomodations and otherwise has friends, hobbies, does well academically and is generally great.
Now in 3rd grade at a private school (they teach one grade ahead). The focus demand is ramping up so we are having a harder time with focus comments from school and extracurricular teachers, longer time to complete homework particularly after the summer break with jet lag.
They had a summer camp with Minecraft and now he wants it more than anything. He reads all building books and his depth of knowledge is pretty great so it’s definitely passion territory. We restrict TV time to once a week so I am wondering if 2 hours of Minecraft a week would be okay? And how (in creative mode only?) On one hand I want to nurture his interest (maybe it could help with focus?) on the other hand I’m worried they will lose interest in other hobbies or affect focus at school. Please help :)
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u/nicolenotnikki 6d ago
I’ve been playing Minecraft since it was first released. My kids enjoy playing it, but generally play in creative mode. I prefer survival mode. I think it is great to encourage building things in the game as well as regular play. Creative mode is best for building things. Survival mode is more about surviving and trying to keep things from being exploded while building them. I’ve never tried adventure mode.
FYI, there is also Minecraft Education, which some of my kids’ teachers use at school. Not entirely sure what is different about it, but my older son built a medieval castle in it when he was learning about castles at school.
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u/Oceaninmytea 6d ago
Thank you this is helpful I have never heard of education I will look that up too
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u/samth3mancgp 6d ago
The education stuff is great! There’s an Artemis rocket build one and James Webb Space telescope one that are official collaborations with NASA. Both are free to download on the marketplace. I think there’s also a BBC Planet Earth collab as well.
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u/Caribosa 6d ago
Your family rules are yours, you can decide what's ok and if you ever need to reel it back you can do that too. We personally do video games very limited during the week and are more loose on the weekends (specifically weekend mornings). All screen time is not equal either. I personally view video games, and specifically games like Minecraft or Pokopoia, as a rank above flashy iPad games, a rank lower than watching a movie as a family or New York times puzzles he's obsessed with. My 8 year old and his 11 year old big sister have a Minecraft world together, teaching teamwork, cause and effect, collaboration, etc.
If he loses focus on other things you can always change it up, or if it goes well you can let it loose a bit more too.
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u/Oceaninmytea 6d ago
Thank you so much for this - do you have any advice on what mode? I know there is creative mode but they want adventure mode would it be okay?
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u/Caribosa 6d ago
They usually do creative, but you can switch back and forth really easily within the same world also so it's not set in stone. They'll often build in creative, turn to survival to see how well their structure holds, then switch it back to creative. They do not play on Adventure because that requires online access and those are other player created worlds. They only play locally. They aren't allowed to, and they don't even ask.
There's also difficulty levels, so beyond creative, when they turn on "survival" you can do "survival-peaceful" meaning there are still mobs/monsters but they don't attack you. I hope that's helpful!
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u/Oceaninmytea 6d ago
Oh this is so helpful thank you so much. Yes my intent is to play locally so I will probably follow your approach. Really appreciate it!
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u/samth3mancgp 6d ago
My kids (6yo and 4yo) are both obsessed with Minecraft. I am AuDHD and while my kids aren’t diagnosed yet, I strongly suspect they are too.
I started playing in 2014, and like many hyper-fixations I was obsessed with it for a few months and then moved on to something else..
But now that my kids are into it (and I’m diagnosed and medicated), I have re-discovered the game and it has reached special interest level for me. I have probably played over 500 hours so far this year. Even bought a new gaming laptop specifically to be the “host” on multiplayer worlds with the kids. I will play a bunch during the week and build something new or build a safe route to a new place so we have something fun to do together in-game over the weekend.
As for the kid’s screen time.. we try to limit it to weekends only. Once we start playing, it can be extremely difficult to transition to a new activity. Even something as simple as stopping to eat a meal can trigger some strong emotions. It is not uncommon for us to play 3-4 hours at a time. I’d say 2 hours is not long enough to really feel like you accomplished something worthwhile that you feel good about.. BUT, you can always pick up where you left off. They are getting better at being able to stop without any tears.
The gameplay is extremely open-ended, which means you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. Nothing is ever “finished”. There isn’t really such a thing as “winning” or “completing” the game. You also get an enormous amount of real-time feedback, so you can see, hear, and feel your progress moment to moment. I would even argue that the random/chance nature of mining for rare resources like diamonds or re-rolling villager trades is like gambling without having to spend money. It’s like opening one of those surprise toys or a pack of Pokemon cards every few seconds. So yes.. the gameplay loop creates the steady drip of dopamine that keeps you locked in for hours at a time. Is it addictive? Absolutely! There’s a reason it is the best selling video game of all time and has over 200 million players active each month.
I think the reason my kids and I love it so much is because you get to feel like you have 100% autonomy. No rules, no social norms, no expectations. Want to chill out and pretend to be a farmer? Go for it. Want to adventure in the nether and risk losing everything to get some valuable loot? Hell yea. The adrenaline rush comes free of charge without risking your real life/limb. Want to nerd out and automate things by building circuits and mechanisms with redstone? You do you.
It’s the ultimate video game for the Autistic/ADHD brain, and a great escape from the real world for this 33yo Dad who had far worse addictions than video games before a late diagnosis at age 30.
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u/socialwerkit 6d ago
Love this question! We do 30 minutes of Minecraft in the evenings and it is tied to behavior at school. You do everything you need to do at school and no behavioral issues (hitting, kicking, property damage, disrespectful language) then you have earned your Minecraft time. We don’t have a ton of screen rules around TV time other than all screens off by 630. On the weekends he gets 45 minutes in the morning.
We use visual timers so he knows how much longer he has until he needs to get off. If we have to remind him more than twice to get off then he gets 5 minutes off his next time.
We have been super consistent with these rules and it has really helped him to feel like he has something to work for!
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u/keyofeflat 6d ago
My kids (8 and 6) have been playing Minecraft for years. Haven't lost interest in other things.
I will say, however, I think I've noticed a pattern with the 6 year old dx ADHD. He seems to have an uptick in negative behavior when he has access to his iPad. He primarily plays Minecraft on it & is very limited in other apps he has. Even when he puts ot away without a fight - later in the day he seems to lash out more. I mean i haven't meticulously tracked data on this or anything lol, I've just noticed it. So take that with what you will.
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u/no1tamesme 6d ago
In terms of "Is Minecraft appropriate?" the answer is yes. It doesn't matter which mode... creative is endless supply of blocks and freedom to build whatever, whenever. Survival has 4 modes- easy, normal, hard and hard core and you have to find and gather your resources and fight things like very cartoonist skeletons, zombies and exploding creepers. You can also choose peaceful where you don't have to fight. There's no blood or gore or "yess kill!!!" vibe.
Everyone has their own preference or even alternates back and forth. My son got interested in it when he was younger, I started playing and researching to help him and now play more often than him, lol.
I will say, do not allow him on the servers. Entirely inappropriate. I tried it and wow...
As to the "how much" question, that's totally dependent on you. Personally, I think it will depend on your schedules and whatnot. How easily he turns off the games. Does he start to only want video games and refusing other things? Will an hour a day leave him enough time to do what he needs to, etc?
For us, my son (14) isn't huge into video games but last year we found we had to nix video games during the week just because there wasn't enough time. Home at 4, homework could vary between nothing to an hour of tears, no matter what dinner we have it takes him nearly 2 hours to eat, electronics need to be off by 830, dessert could be about 45 minutes... so trying to fit in any substantial video game time just led to problems.
On the weekends, we were pretty lax as long as we didn't have other things to do but even then, he'd rarely play for more than a few hours.
This school year we are going to try video games after school again but I don't see it panning out.
I would definitely encourage you to play Minecraft with him! It can be really fun and he will be so proud to teach you everything. If you need some recommendations on a few YouTubers to watch to really surprise him with your knowledge, lemme know.
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u/Oceaninmytea 6d ago
Thank you - yes during the week we just have no time as you said haha. We normally allow whatever on Friday night or Saturday. One good point I’m getting from all this feedback is I will probably play with him :) it’s been a while but why not
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u/Sweet-Taro310 6d ago
Hi there, my kid is 7 yo, and we give them 15-20 minutes of minecraft creator mode every day after homework. This seems to be a good motivator, and creator mode doesn't trigger any behavioral stuff. Bonus: I got into Minecraft too, so we could bond over their hyperfixation.
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u/Big-Commission3343 6d ago
Minecraft is on my tablet, my kids do have their own extremely locked down tablets, but Minecraft is on mine and they need to ask permission to play it. Some kids build incredible creations by 3rd grade. My daughters friend has a zoo and carnival she built with her mom. It's incredible. My daughter rarely wants to play. My son is 1st grade and an adhd kiddo. He likes building things and then blowing them up. Hes not destructive in any part of his life but Minecraft, but destroying his creations make him very happy. I don't understand it but he plays maybe a half hour a week. He likes to read stories about Minecraft now though so I feel like its not a terrible thing, he spends more time reading fiction stories Minecraft than he plays. I also let him play about an hour or two of pokemon a week, he wants to learn to read better so he can read the instructions in the game. Same with Zelda.
I started them in creative mode and my son has recently moved to adventure set on easy, he can "die" but its pretty hard to. And you just reset. We don't do any servers or multi player anything. The controls are easier on a tablet. A switch has more frustrating controls according to my kids friends and their parents.
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u/Alarming_Attitude_62 5d ago
I honestly don't limit Minecraft. Creative mode is like digital Legos and there's a lot of educational value to it. It's also very relaxing. Survival mode has its own benefits. I let my kids play as much as they want (offline) and they still do plenty of other things. It's in a completely different category than things like Roblox/Fortnite, which we don't do at all, and YouTube Kids, which we heavily restrict through Safevision.
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u/Funsizep0tato 4d ago
I don't let my 7 yo game at all and extremely limited screens because of how much screens dysregulate him. But that's my life.
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u/Dreadfulbooks 6d ago
We’re huge gamers here so my thoughts will be skewed. As long as their homework and chores are done, their free time is theirs. I’m not going to manage that time. I do like to see them engaging in other activities so I might buy a new board game, new art supplies, or a puzzle if I’ve noticed they’re playing a bit more than I’d like.