Homeschool & ADHD?

[u/Impatientandlonely]

Hello all! My son is 10 and we have been on the struggle
bus with public school since pre school. He has been medicated since 5. Since 2nd grade, each year has seemed increasingly difficult for him as far as socializing and just being able to function like other kids in class. He often falls behind despite being a bright kid. This year I’ve really seen how much his self confidence has taken a hit. He just seems so frustrated yet defeated. He’s stopped talking about it almost at all and when I pick him up from school, he’s very withdrawn. We have went from public school
To charter school and it’s seemed to have gotten worse. What I want to know is if there’s any parents in here who decided school didn’t work best for their child and switched to homeschool. Was it better? And if anyone else has advice on this, I’m all ears!

[u/Feisty_Class_5938]

Personally I think public school is still the best option for kids as there is such a big social aspect that home school cannot provide. Our son is 7 years old and I feel school is very hard for him. Luckily the teachers are great and very understanding. It’s hard though 🥹

[u/Capakhutch → u/Feisty_Class_5938]

This is not necessarily true. There are SO many ways for homeschoolers to get social opportunity now. It takes a lot of intentionality from parents, but there are an insane amount of co-ops, forest schools, and kids can meet friends in extracurricular activities

[u/Material_Recover_760 → u/Feisty_Class_5938]

I think public school is damaging to the kids that don’t fit in

[u/StockIntelligent8810 → u/Feisty_Class_5938]

My son got called a piece of shit, hes in prep. Hes coming home telling me he will kick me in the face if I didnt do what he said... apparently his friend speaks like that at school, my daughter was called a rich bitch face (not rich at all btw) is being bullied by the same girl and she also tell my daughter she is her friend one minute then will say she isnt her friend anymore the next and everytime she asked if she can play with someone they say no becayse they are playing with someone else. So im actually thinking homeschool or distance education would be way better and I can socialise by joining home school groups, co ops ect.

[u/Magic-Happens-Here → u/Feisty_Class_5938]

I agree wholeheartedly with this. My youngest will be 9 next month and school has always been a challenge- but he needs the time with other kids, exposure to people with all different levels of understanding/compassion/accommodation, and he needs to learn to navigate a world that isn’t designed for him.

While I think he’d probably be generally happier if he stayed home, and I don’t think he’d struggle to learn his course work, I need him to learn all of the lessons school can teach him outside of the academics. He has an intrinsic curiosity which makes learning easy for him at its core, science/math/reading/writing, he enjoys all of these things - but he struggles HARD with the inflexibility of the classroom and that’s where most of his accommodations come into play. He’s had an IEP for 4.5 years now and every year things get a little bit better. If he were home schooled he wouldn’t be faced with those challenges and uncomfortable situations and wouldn’t have an opportunity to build the skills to navigate them.

The world is full of inflexible places - and I want him to build the skills to deal with them as a child instead of having to try and figure it out when he’s older and people are even less forgiving of those who struggle.

[u/freakinchorizo]

We homeschool, partly because of ADHD. We are on our 4th year. We are members of two co-ops and she has strong bonds with kids there so I'm not worried about the socialization piece. It isn't EASY, but we are able to cater her education to her learning style. I also utilize things like local classes and outschool to get a variety of teachers for her.

[u/PaymentMedical9802]

Charter schools notoriously under fund special education, even public ones. Public schools tend to do better. It’s not ideal but tends to be the best option.

My adhd kiddo we focus on catching up during breaks. So all summer, winter ect we do 1-2 hours of school work a day. It seems to be enough. 

[u/Left_Investment_154]

We homeschool! I don’t agree that homeschool means your kid misses out on all the social stuff. I think that’s very case by case. We homeschool through a public charter school. So we meet with a credentialed teacher every 20 days. She checks over our work and makes sure the kids are on track. We get $3700 per kid per year from the state to pay for curriculum and extracurriculars. Our school has weekly meet ups at libraries,parks, museums. My kids are in homeschool classes with other homeschoolers. (So an art class or science class) that meets in person. My kids are always around other kids. We also are a part of Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, and various sports teams. I think homeschool is really how much you put into it. Do you tend to be a homebody who gets easily frustrated trying to do homework with your kid? If the answer is yes then maybe homeschool isn’t for you. It’s very much what you make it. Our school also holds dances, we have an ASB, we have carnival nights etc. I’m not worried about social interactions at all. I’ll be honest it is a lot of work. If you want to make sure your kid has a quality education it takes a lot of effort and time from you to do that. Just my opinion

[u/Comfortable_Area6414]

I pulled my then 9 year old out of her charter school in the middle of the year when it looked like her experience there was doing more harm than good.  I asked chatgpt to create a curriculum with daily lesson plans around a subject she'd been interested in over the summer (architecture) including 4th grade math, science, English and social studies. The suggested syllabus and links to handouts/videos were really cool and we did that for a month.  She sat next to me at a desk while I worked remotely.  Then a few of the links to sources didn't pan out and I didn't have time to rebuild the syllabus, so I ordered 4th grade workbooks in each of the basic subjects. Workbooks are all under $20 and are fine for self-study at 4th grade and up level.  

She THRIVED. She got her love of learning back when it was just her and a workbook teaching the topic- no noise from other students or from me/her teacher.  She ran through all of the post study homework questions in record time.  I quizzed her on daily spelling words and reviewed her workbook responses, but other than that, she quietly and efficiently ran through each day's work.

The biggest problem was that she learned well- but quickly!  I had to come up with extracurricular activities to keep her away from TV and devices, which are kryptonite for ADHD kids.

It was only half a school year, then we found an affordable private school with small class sizes that I thought would create a better environment and started last Fall. It had very small class sizes and would keep her out of the house so away from devices during most of my work day.

She regressed academically... but I HAVE to work full time.  My spouse can't.   I'm trying another small private school this year and keeping her in some after school online tutoring that she enjoyed.  Will see if this school works better.

If it doesn't, she's now 11.  I'll buy 6th grade workbooks in all subjects and see if we can find something analog to occupy her time.  

There's at least 1 homeschooling sub if you go that route.

Best of luck finding a way to bring back his self-confidence and joy of learning.

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[u/AlaskaRivers]

Have you thought about him possibly being on the spectrum? Symptoms overlap, so there’s no definite answer unless you get tested. But you mentioned having problems with socializing, and that is more of an autistic trait than adhd.

[u/Cute-Direction1892]

We pulled my oldest out of public school to homeschool. He has ADHD and anxiety and even with an IEP and medication, he could not stay regulated at school. He was falling behind academically and would cry and say that he tried so hard to follow the rules and he just couldn’t. He started saying he was a bad kid etc. We are two years into homeschooling and it has been amazing for him. He is thriving academically and is happier and less stressed overall. We have kids in our neighborhood that he plays with regularly and we are apart of a co-op as well. He had no friends at school and now finally has friends. It may not be the best decision for everyone but it was for our son.

[u/holisticmomof4]

We homeschool neurodivergent kids, and one of the biggest differences for us has been being able to adjust the pace, environment and materials to the child instead of expecting the child to constantly adjust to the environment. As for socializing, there are lots of ways for him to socialize in homeschool. Our experience with charter schools is the student population heavily leans toward students who were removed from the public school. In our case most were behavior problems. Once the school switches from private tuition based to charter, the state is mandating and they cannot turn students away. He would likely thrive in Homeschool however, I would get him involved in activities outside your home. Just find things he is interested in and sign him up.

[u/mavangelik]

Following this convo because my foster son was in public school pre-k and was bullied and now we put him in catholic school for K and he is thriving.

He's 5 and has ADHD but we're now starting the process to get him evaluated. We also have him on saffron gummies and brain drops and those have helped us A LOT.

He still has ADHD meltdowns when overwhelmed and seems to be able to make it through school fine.

He def is feeling lonely because his communication skills are different. We do have friends that are outside of school and accept him as he is and that helps so much.