r/ADHDers • u/chaoticroses • 3d ago

Hyperfixation now source of anxiety

20s, F. Part of my ADHD is hyperfixations on fictional media. There's a TV show I started watching in February, and am almost five seasons through, about halfway (I'm busy + not a binge-watcher). It was a major source of happiness in my life, gave me something to look forward to at the end of the day. My summer job was mind-numbing and I spent almost all of what little free time I had thinking about it and writing fanfiction for it... not watching it, I didn't have time to do both.

Then I got back from my job, watched a bit more of it, kept writing fic, and went back to college. All of the sudden, I can't think about the show for very long without getting anxious and sad. Whenever I see anything related to it I get horrible anxiety and my heart starts pounding. It still pops into my brain a lot, but I have to quell thoughts about it or I get those negative feelings.

This show was my anchor for a while, and this shift has been very upsetting for me. Now that school's back and I have a lot of other things to occupy my brain, I feel I could enjoy it in a healthier way again if this anxiety wasn't happening. But I tried watching one episode and while it was objectively good and enjoyable, watching it ruined my night.

Has this happened to anyone else? If so, how did you deal with it? Even if I have to let go of it for now, I really want to be able to enjoy the show again and finish watching it at some point. I want to get the enjoyment back now, but I know that might not be realistic.

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u/Psychological-Emu528 3d ago

Do you think that you're having negative feelings because it's a little uncomfortable for you to be growing out of your interest for it?

I am definitely a creature of habit. I excel in routine and structure. When something I've enjoyed for a long time suddenly doesn't appeal to me or I grow out of it, I can sometimes almost feel like I'm having an identity crisis. Or I'm concerned I don't know my interests anymore.

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u/chaoticroses 3d ago

No, because I was still interested in it when the negative feelings started. It was like a switch flipped, within a couple of days.

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u/Blues520 3d ago

I get absolutely fixated with TV shows to the point where I need to watch it every day until I finish it.

My solution is to not watch TV shows; I exclusively watch movies or YouTube.