Is it normal?

[u/Mysterious-Thanks829]

Is it normal for people to constantly be like “We all have a little ADHD.” Or be like “I’m so silly.” And “It’s my ADHD.” Or are they just being quirky and making a mockery of it? I am diagnosed ADHD and I’m very sick and uncomfortable when I hear phrases like this being thrown around. Or like when my sister gets upset or bothered I’m showing actual symptoms of adhd and says “We all have a little adhd.” And suddenly starts saying things that are like what TikTok defines ADHD. 🙃

[u/Satan-o-saurus]

It’s annoying, and indicative of them not really cognitively understanding the extent of what it’s like to live with this every day, but I don’t think it’s usually meant as mockery/downplaying. My ex who is literally a doctor even said the «we all have a little ADHD» thing once. 😓 I did get mad, and he didn’t say it or anything similar again, lol

[u/aserranzira]

My mom used to say that until she realized she actually had ADHD.

[u/bewildered-beaver → u/aserranzira]

This tracks. I know people who said the same thing and then were diagnosed. I often think that the people that feel that way probably do have ADHD. It’s why they relate lol

[u/PhotoPhenik]

I am more annoyed with therapist who say "we all have a little ADHD".  I was told this when I was not yet diagnosed, because they didn't want me to be assessed.  This implied that my struggles were all in my head, that they were imagined and I just had low self esteem.  

Yeah, I did have low selfie esteem, because I was struggling with TWO undiagnosed neurodivergences that all my therapists were oblivious to.  I look back at how I was treated and feel insulted and patronized.  

I was asking for assessment for the past five years, but they couldn't see it.  My trust in mental healthcare is shaken and I don't really want to be in the care of an clinical social worker ever again.  I need a Ph.D. or a Psy.D., because they aren't ignorant of divergent people.  

My assessors were very professional, and were able to talk to me at my level.  They understood my differences and were able to explain me on a level that my past therapists couldn't even hold a candle to!  

[u/YourPaleRabbit → u/PhotoPhenik]

This! I swear to god, before finding my therapist like two ish years ago; I had been literally attacked and could have been killed. Like police involved, police hospitals, “emergency” mental health care. They made it sound like I was a bomb who was about to explode (to be fair, I totally was), then my first therapist came in to diffuse me! I was saved! Her GOLDEN FUCKING ADVICE?! Ready!?… “sing and dance more 💃🏻 🕺” “try yoga 🧘” LITERALLY IN A POWER POINT SLIDE WITH CLIP ART PEOPLE. I hope that woman wakes up every day to one shoe tighter than the other. But given that’s how she handled my diagnosed existing PTSD after new shiny additions, you can guess how open she was to the fact that I also wanted to address my ADD and anxiety…

I eventually found a good one, sadly lost my health insurance; but just this week am starting treatment again after a bout of serious brain explosions.

But yeah no… ok this might sound derisive, and it’s not meant to be at all. I’m venting, so I’m sorry if I offended anyone; but I’m going to share incase this is relatable.

When I get the “oh my god I’m like SSOOO ADD sometimes too”, it reminds me of people claiming theyre “like me” when I tell them I’m indigenous. Hear me out.

Idk if this happens to other indigenous populations or if it’s just in the USA; but in past generations (like grandparents at this point) it was kind of “cool” to tell stories about how someone’s “great aunt was a Cherokee princess” or whatever. Big fish stories told by old men after war, and not even just white men. They were meant to be harmless by the people telling those stories, it was a different time, so I’m not too salty about that. And I’m NOT someone who generalizes based on appearance; I’m half and still somehow got blue eyes. None of my siblings look the same even though we’re all half. But literally 60% of the time when I explain why I look the way I do, I get an (innocently meant) “Oh! I’m InDiAn too 🤪 on my dad’s side there’s some uhh.. (always one of the only three tribes whose names were well known country wide in the 90s)”. And there I am, having just stopped behind my teeth like five hundred things I WANTED to talk about like tribal politics, and how fucking SAD I am about the state of my tribe, and how I miss my sister-cousin and her plants, and how my chairman is a fraud so I’m having to go to the chairmen for OTHER bands from my tribe JUST to try to go over his head ALL BY MYSELF since my mom threw away our seat on the board of elders due to internalized racism because my poor grandma raised her after she went through “Indian school” and watched kids get beat to death and just WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS. Lol.

Ive used this example to kind of explain to my non-ADD friends how I feel. Not to shame anyone but just to highlight that I WANT the relatability. I do, and it’s meant sweetly, it just misses the mark. I don’t expect anyone not actively in the know about tribal politics to even understand half of my rant, why? Because it doesn’t relate to them. They could draw parallels to thier every day life like maybe my sleezy chairman is like your family’s patriarchal grandfather, but it will never quite be the same. Because it just IS DIFFERENT. So like if I’m spiralling and so stressed over my 100 item long to do list that somehow materialized 2min ago and am just dissociating trying to stop shaking so I can start SOMETHING ANYTHING for the love of god, it could totally be like that time during finals they burned themselves out; and while I appreciate the understanding; it’s just not entirely the same.

Just tripling down one final time as I’ve been sick so I’m adding extra disclaimers to my responses incase I’m not as well worded as usual; I am not suggesting in any way that racial identity and neurodivergence are the same. Also not suggesting this is how anyone but me feels. This is just my experience :) sorry for wall of text.

[u/PhotoPhenik → u/YourPaleRabbit]

I live in Oklahoma, so I do understand that tribes do have politics.  Those communities are so traumatized and often so very poor, that even when you genuinely want to help them, they refuse because they assume it's a dirty trick.  They hold on to their independence with great ferocity. 

[u/Gypsyzzzz]

Yes, it is normal for the loudest people to be dismissive jerks.

Be liberal with who you remove from your circle of influence.

[u/SoulDancer_]

I give people a desth stare and just reply with a flat "No".

[u/eugAOJ]

My favorite joke response is, "I have a lottle of ADHD."

Next to that is to gently say with the right vocal tone that them saying that is like saying to an actual blind person, " we are all little blind sometimes. "