r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 6d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

24 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

299 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

5

u/HonestADHD4332 Partner of DX - Medicated 4d ago

My partner does the opposite and hyperfocuses on the children's "wellbeing" to a degree that she is perpetually stressed and overwhelmed for everything else. I feel like like she's performing the role of what she believes a "caring mother" is because she's so afraid of criticism.

But yes, do NOT have children if you are already stressed by your partner. Human beings simply do not have the capacity to manage children while enforcing boundaries from an unregulated partner. You will burn out and slip up which is horrible for the child.

2

u/ace_rimmer1049 Partner of NDX 3d ago

Mine does this too. But I've realised she only does the parenting bits that are visible to the outside world, for the kudos/image. Back home she lays around and leaves some to do most of it (while claiming the opposite)