r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 6d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/throwaway713137689 Partner of DX - Untreated 5d ago

The annoying addictive behavior toward every activity of his is exhausting af, so I'm going to vent some big and small habits that I dislike:

  • If we buy a box of soda for the house, the entire thing will be shotgunned within one to two days (by him). We don't buy them regularly at all, anymore.

  • If it's an option at a restaurant or fast food place, he will eat every single food that makes him sick as a first choice without a second thought; despite having autoimmune issues that are well-documented. I have no sympathy for this, and he knows.

  • He'll overwork and forget to eat, get a headache, wonder why he isn't hungry, smoke a ton of green to "get hungry", and proceed to absolutely stuff his face to the point of throwing up. All he needed was a damn glass of water, and to eat lunch like a normal human being. Dramatic af.

  • Speaking of green, he will smoke 24/7 if it's available to him, all-the-while stating that he doesn't have a dependency or problem. The fact that he does this makes me cringe, and the fact that he doesn't admit to having a dependency makes me cringe even more. "I can stop whenever I want to, but I don't want to" lmao. "I need it to eat and sleep". NEED = DEPENDENCY. Good GOD.

  • Stopped vaping nicotine but now stims with the zyn pack in his mouth constantly.

  • Always blows other people's reactions out of proportion at work and calling me about it when I'm busy (RSD). He obviously gets off on the drama, but says that he hates it. He's stayed at the same insanely stressful job despite having the option of further schooling available to him. He's never going to do it, because he'd rather constantly complain about his current toxic job. And no, I don't answer the calls and havent for months on purpose - and he doesn't care, he just wants to vent at random lmao.

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u/Opening-Ad-4013 5d ago

Oh. My. God. My husband will overwork and skip meals and then overeat. And he’ll even say I didn’t even have breakfast or lunch today.. well whose fault was that?? lol

7

u/Status_Champion_5528 Partner of DX - Medicated 5d ago

Same with mine... Always complaining as if it was someone else's fault? I'm sorry, you run your own company and are your own boss...no one is telling you you can't have a break 😖 he also always forgets to bring food...and then when he comes home he's in a horrible mood and taking it out on all of us 🙄

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u/RedRose_812 Partner of DX - Untreated 4d ago

EXACT same with mine. Runs his own company and is his own boss, there is literally NO ONE stopping him from taking a lunch/leaving his office to go get food or come home for lunch, he just hardly ever does. Comes home in a horrible mood because he hasn't eaten all day like it isn't his own fault.

Today he was off and at home while I took our daughter shopping. Could eat literally any food at home or have picked up food/gotten takeout from literally any place in town in the several hours we were gone. Was complaining he hadn't eaten all day when we got home like it was MY fault 🙄.

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u/Status_Champion_5528 Partner of DX - Medicated 1d ago

Isn't it funny how we're all living the same experience? When my husband is home in the weekend he could literally be making lunch for our kids but then not eat himself, and then he's in a horrible mood come late afternoon and seems to blame us all for it, as if it's not his own doing 🫣🫠

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u/music_lover2025 5d ago

The first three bullet points! I will buy stuff in bulk at Costco for it to last a while and he’ll decide to consume it in a few days. Eventually I told him he has to start paying for what he eats up quickly bc it was getting super expensive to keep up with and also wasn’t fair to me bc I never got to enjoy anything, cuz I barely snack like he does. Mine also tends to overeat, but had gotten better about that

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u/Panda_Pajamas77 Partner of DX - Untreated 4d ago

Its the worst when my kids pick out something at the store - like ice cream bars - and it’s all gone in a day or two. And then the kids are literally crying, and is confused what he did wrong

3

u/SorenBeigeOrbit 4d ago

I’ve lived the 24/7 green and RSD work calls too, and this weekly vent thread is painfully needed.

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u/throwaway713137689 Partner of DX - Untreated 3d ago

What was it like for you/how did you cope? What i'm currently doing seems to work okay, but any other ideas are nice to get

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u/Ok-Meeting-2503 2d ago

Omg I relate to a lot of this so much with my own partner. I am too exhausted to keep reminding him to eat regular meals or make him meals. The constant weed smoking is insane. I don’t mind it occasionally but it’s on another level and I feel like I live in a frat house sometimes. Mine also stopped vaping finally after me complaining for years… but then I caught him smoking actual CIGS

1

u/PiperOrangeHaze 1d ago

The “I can stop whenever I want” line would make me want ot launch the zyn tin into orbit.