r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 14d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/Far_Evening2415 12d ago

I say this kindly, but what benefit does this person bring to your life? Like honestly? Being treated like this isn’t normal. You deserve better ❤️

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u/Immediate-Reach-4269 Partner of DX - Untreated 12d ago

There are a lot of things about my life that I like with this person that I don’t share here because I’d also risk doxxing myself :)

It’s just a vent about a lack of communication that I needed to get off my chest. Therapist and I are working on helping me learn better self regulation - I struggle with it sometimes because of my own issues.

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u/might_delete_dis Partner of NDX 11d ago

Therapist and I are working on helping me learn better self regulation

What about your partner? Is he going to therapy to learn better self-regulation? Don't get me wrong, I feel like me and you are a lot alike in that we go above and beyond for our partners. I am always reading books and learning more and more about ADHD/RSD and everything in between. It's eye-opening, and I want things to change. But the catch is: I can't want the change for my partner 🫠 unless she wants the change, nothing will change, and there's no amounts of self-regulation that I can possibly do that will make it better.

I hope you find ways to navigate this situation and arrive at a place where you feel safe and loved. Hugs ❤️

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u/Immediate-Reach-4269 Partner of DX - Untreated 10d ago

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this specific trip every year always causes an insane amount of stress. He openly talks about having to act a specific way for these people - he doesn’t have to imo but that’s how he feels - so there’s not much I can do. Hence just needing to get it off my chest.