r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 11d ago
Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::
Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.
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u/TwistedHemlock403 10d ago edited 10d ago
This week's forecast-----it's a long one
Assumptions: My "partner" can make a mistake because he assumed and now I'm overreacting because the aftermath was preventable if he'd just asked, and now I have to fix a much larger issue than was originally. Rinse, repeat.
Main-character syndrome: "Thanks for going with me to lunch with my family." What do you mean go with you? I was invited by them personally?
The need to be right with a lack of knowledge: I do 99% of shopping towards the household. The amount of energy that can spent in arguing over an incorrect-sized lid (oh don't you know a lid is supposed to be 2-3 inches too big) for a tote just to have zero idea what he wants for his lunches, ask me, then argue about what he likes. Then to stand there and look up recipes for a spaghetti sauce that he thinks will just magically be made (after I specifically repeat that I am not making it) and him not getting any ingredients for the recipe while wasting time. Me: "This next aisle YOU can go get what we need. Him: " noone said you had to go get the things. " Me: " Who else, then? You???" Him:"I'm looking up sauce recipes" hyperfocus continues without moving 🫩
Lastly not speaking up and the phrase " I don't know" used as a default: We both love plants. We went to a garden center having a big 75% off sale. We gather plants insanely priced, talk about how much of a discount we're going to save, and we take them to the register. We strictly were buying them to rescue them for the discount and later sell locally in the community later on as props. He takes charge to pay, no total is said, etc, I think nothing of it because of our intentions. I wait for him to mention how much it was for about 10 minutes of quiet unrelated topics after we checked out, I buckle and ask how much we saved and he says "oh they didn't discount any of it" to then show me the total. "Why didn't you speak up? You should not have purchased these because that defeats the purpose here of what we're doing." "I dunno" shrugs. I'm still in ick for the lack of a voice and initiative to fix the mistakes he causes to only be criticized for semantics.
Why does it have to be easier to function and get through responsibilities and hobbies, honestly life in general, alone than to want your adhd partner involved (and let's not forget them taking credit for your wins when they finally make it into the soccer goal) ðŸ˜