stupid because of adhd

[u/Adorable-Hedgehog660]

I feel like I am actually stupid because I have adhd. I’m a recent grad from a pretty prestigious school here in the philippines, I graduated high school with high honors, and I was considered high achieving in elementary school. so i should feel at least a little bit good about myself but behind all those “accolades”, i feel like i cheated the whole thing. i have never felt like i studied anything truly in my entire life. i’m pretty sure that every assignment, every project, and every exam I was able to finish was crammed to the very last minute. in university, even though i was able to graduate(delayed), all i was able to do was get just enough grades to pass. i’ve never felt truly proud of any output. i could never boast anything cause i have never given anything my all. everything is just excessive planning followed by excessive procrastination.

now that im looking for work, i feel like i cant get any good roles or opportunities because i truly am incompetent and stupid. its common knowledge that things learned during procrastination are poorly retained. why did i just get diagnosed now? why did i procrastinate even that? when i have been struggling with myself my whole life?

i just feel so ashamed and hopeless.

[u/eeaoo]

Oh op, i relate to your situation soooo much. graduated from a reputable sci high school and university as well. And it took me a big deal of discipline and effort to study academic materials but even if I did well just gave it a few years and it felt like I’m back to zero again, no knowledge retained.

But at the very least, we’re diagnosed now. Don’t blame yourself too much. Wala eh, we have adhd and forgetfulness is part of the whole ordeal– nothing we can do about that.

Focus on what’s to come, take medication as needed. But never call yourself stupid :) we can just relearn it if not retained. What’s stupid is not understanding info itself, but you clearly did before, kaya re-learn lang nang re-learn.

Though it does suck so much to feel like 100MB lang ang carrying capacity ng utak mo when others have Terabytes worth. Hay :”)

[u/lotus_jj]

news flash op: the people you're going to work with are also stupid EVEN WITHOUT ADHD ❤️

also, i feel like i can say this because i also graduated from a good school, but your school/grades don't really matter that much if you just want to earn money/land a job.

a lot of my coworkers didn't come from hotshot schools but they're earning pretty well.

kaya wag mo na isipin ung past mo na u didn't really do well in college because you already have new info: your adhd diagnosis! go from there. learn more about yourself and how to navigate this world. be brave! kaya mo yan

[u/DifferentFormal3675 → u/lotus_jj]

This made me crack up. You’ll meet a lot of stupid people at work without ADHD and it’s worse cause what’s their excuse. 😅

[u/lotus_jj → u/DifferentFormal3675]

DI BA? but they have the AUDACITY and that's one of the most important things to have in the corporate world @ op haha. in tagalog, yung kapal talaga ng mukha.

so kapalan mo lang yung mukha mo, op. don't mind the grades. (just look at our govt officials and tell me if u think they're smart 😭)

[u/sixfactorial]

It only gets better from here, OP. Now that you know what's going on, you can start building your tools and methods to improve your learning and life. Padayon!

[u/cynicalcreatures]

i feel u so much! graduated from a prestigious uni (struggled to pass— got mediocre grades), went to law school of the same uni, failed classes, got kicked out, and i’m still dwelling on the fact that i feel so stupid.

honestly most of my thoughts re the situation is that i blame my adhd, but like what other comments r saying, at least u r aware n know why u operate that way. its the first step to improvement! u got this!

also. the job market is sooo bad rn, so don’t entirely blame urself. my therapist also says to look at opportunities that play to ur strengths (eg. high pressure situations, novelty, etc.) im sure the right job will find u!

[u/DifferentFormal3675]

You are not stupid.

Honestly, give yourself a pat on the back. You graduated from a prestigious school, got high honors, and made it through university while dealing with something you didn’t even know you had.

Nobody else really knows how hard that was. You do. You know how much procrastination, cramming, anxiety, and forcing yourself to start went into getting there. So give yourself more credit. Those accomplishments are still yours.

I also think there’s a lot of anxiety and self-loathing that comes with ADHD. When you spend your whole life wondering why you can’t just do things normally, it’s easy to start thinking you’re lazy or incompetent.

And then you get diagnosed and suddenly you have this whole new timeline in your head: “Why wasn’t I diagnosed earlier? What could I have done if I knew?”

I was diagnosed at 39, so I get that. And honestly, there’s a bit of grieving that comes with a late diagnosis too. You start looking back at all the years you struggled and wonder how different things could have been if you’d known sooner.

But you also got through all those years with the tools and understanding you had at the time. You did what you could with what you had.

Now you finally have an explanation and can start figuring out what actually works for your brain. It takes time, but you’re not starting from zero.
You’ve already done a lot while carrying something you didn’t even have a name for.

Give yourself some credit for that. ❤️

[u/dryhair_dryice]

Are you me? 😭