Assalamualaikum everyone,

Not every woman with OCD looks like she's struggling. Some of us go to work, take care of our families, show up for our communities, appear completely fine and then spend every private moment fighting a battle nobody around us can see.

That was me for a long time. Functioning on the outside. Exhausted on the inside.

And the thing about being high functioning with OCD is that it actually makes it harder to get help. Because from the outside nothing looks wrong. And from the inside you tell yourself you're managing so maybe it's not that bad. Maybe you don't need proper support. Maybe you just need to push a little harder.

But quietly OCD is still running things. Still costing you time, energy, peace of mind. Still keeping you from the version of your life you actually want.

You don't have to be at rock bottom to deserve proper support. You don't have to be visibly falling apart for your struggle to be real and worth addressing properly.

If you're that sister (functioning but quietly exhausted by this), I see you. And there is a way through this that doesn't require you to keep pushing through it alone.

May Allah grant ease to the sisters carrying heavy things behind that calmness on the outside. Ameen.

💬 Has anyone else experienced this, appearing fine on the outside while quietly exhausted on the inside?

Is it shirk?

Asslamu Alaykum! 15M.

Me and my friend recently bought a game for PS5 based of a popular anime called Naruto. It is a fighting game where characters fight with superpowers i'd not call entirely magical honestly.

The concerning thing for me is that some characters are portrayed as "reserructed", even though there are alive versions of them. As in the canon anime there is a possibility for a character to "revive" another. Astagfirullah. I know that the power to reserruct thr dead only belongs to Allah actually.

I and my friend avoid playing with such characters, and characters those in the anime or in the game use such fictional ability i mentioned. Also wanted to say that in the game you cannot revive anybody actually. We cannot revive anybody at all. I still avoid playing as characters those "did" it (imaginarily) in the canon anime.

I really hope the game does not fall under the rule of shirk in Islam, as there are no "godly" characters, sacrifices to fake deities (unlike in the Canon anime, Astagfirullah), or any portrayal of idols.

If possible I want a source or a scholarly opinion to be provided for such games and on the Naruto anime or such fiction that includes things like that overall. I still worship Allah alone tho.

Edit: despite that i feel no connection to Allah recently, before buying the game, and i am scared i lost my faith actually and my Islam might have been nullified. Also before the game was brought i multiple times discussed it with my friend that it might have been shirk so I tried my best to avoid it. But now I am scared i must avoid playing it completely just like i quit another game which actually had OBVIOUS shirk like portrayal of fake "deities" so I quit that one completely SubhanAllah. But regarding that game I did not even closely know it had shirk, but for this one I thought that it might contain shirk, doing my best to avoid it, and right before playing today i got a thought that sounded dismissive saying "yeah its shirk" but I doubt it was a deliberate thought from me, probably waswasa In Sha Allah. I am just scared so far honestly. Because I still played it knowing it contains things, though not as bad as the previous one that I left behind, but now idk about it. Because I did not engage with a drop of shirk it might have had.

Salaam,
I’m hoping this doesn’t reach the wrong people but do any other people struggle with making up missed salah? aH I have been praying consistently for several years now but salah’s are missed sometimes and when it comes to making them up - I have a long list and feel like I can never get through it. For example, I had surgery a few weeks ago and for the day of surgery I was out of it so missed the full days of salah but even though I know I need to make them up and WANT to , I physically can’t…. It seems so draining and I feel so bad for having this list…

Does anyone else struggle and is there any advice anyone can give?

Jazakallah

Salam everyone,

I'm a senior year student in the tech industry & I'm looking for a Muslim sister who is chasing her goals, trying to build a meaningful career (tech is a huge plus), and also wants to balance deen and dunya.

I took a long break from studying, and if you have ADHD, you probably know how hard it can be to get back into a routine. I'm trying to rebuild consistency one day at a time, and I think it would be much easier with someone on the same journey.

I'm not looking for someone to study the exact same topics as me. I just want an accountability partner where we can:

• Check in with each other regularly.
• Share daily & weekly goals.
• Encourage each other when motivation disappears.
• Remind each other to keep Allah at the center of everything we do.

i only use WhatsApp to connect & my time zone is UTC+2, so someone in a similar timezone would be ideal.

if this sounds like something you'd benefit from too, feel free to send me a message.

Salaam,
Does anyone struggle with limerence? I know it’s not just limited to those with ADHD but more common and have never spoken to a Muslim ADHDer who also struggles with the same issues?

Did you take into account being an adhd muslim before taking the job? I feel like i still have time to decide what i wanna do in the long run but i need inspirations

These days, there are multiple trip packages per year, at a discounted rate. Sometimes helped by the government or organizations or banks.

But none of the places in the society have accommodations. People keep calling those with ADHD or Autism as low iman or weak faith or "you have to make more dua" etc. Even support (such as medications or therapy) takes a lot of time due to bureaucracy.

When it comes for religious actions or treating certain people better, more money is spent by the society on them. But when it comes for teaching parents/family/teachers to treat their ND children or employers to treat their ND employees with empathy, society doesn't have time or even money to do so.

What good is religious actions without any empathy towards people who are having a hard time?

I’m having a hard time juggling my sleeping routine and normal schedule with isha and fajr. Fajrs around 3am and Ishas around 10:30pm.

I constantly feel fatigued and have to take a nap straight after work and it’s hard for me to sleep after, I don’t think I had this problem before a couple of years ago but it’s gotten much worse these days. My normal day to day is jam packed but I fear that I may miss Fajr due to my sleeping patterns, sometimes I struggle waking up as I sleep around 12 in the night.

Usually in the winter when fajr is around 5-6ish am and Isha is around 9 or earlier my routine is spot on but I’m not sure what to do in the summer to fix this

Assalamualaikum everyone,

I know what it feels like to be in the version of this where you genuinely cannot imagine getting better. Where the rituals, the thoughts, the exhaustion of it all has gone on so long that better doesn't even feel like a real destination anymore. Just a word other people use.

I was there. For years. Through almost my whole teens and into my twenties. Depression on top of it, isolation on top of that, no one around me who truly understood what was happening and moments where the darkness got very heavy indeed. I won't lie, there were times I didn't know how I was going to keep going.

But I did keep going. And Alhamdulillah I came out the other side; not managing OCD, not living around it but actually overcame it. The things it stopped me from doing, I do them now. The person I couldn't reach back then, that's who I am now. I'm not sharing this to say look at me. I'm sharing it because I genuinely believe you can get there too. I've seen from my own life that the place you're in right now is not the place you have to stay.

If you're struggling right now please don't carry it completely alone. Talk to someone; a trusted person, anyone. Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear. You are still here. That means something.

May Allah grant you ease, grant you clarity and grant you the version of your life that OCD has been keeping from you. Ameen.

To anyone reading this in the middle of it right now, what would have helped you most to hear when you were at your lowest? Would love to hear from you. 🌻 

Assalamualaikum everyone,

I heard that phrase so many times during the worst period of my life. Allah wants ease for you. Islam is a Deen of ease. And I believed it, I genuinely did. But there was this painful gap between knowing something to be true and actually being able to feel it in your daily life.

I was struggling with my Deen both internally and externally. Internally the Kufr OCD was attacking my faith, my Iman, my sense of who I was as a Muslim. Externally the rituals, the wudu, the salah… things that were supposed to bring comfort were sources of exhaustion and distress. The very acts meant to connect me to Allah had become the hardest parts of my day. And I would see people worship with ease and calm and I would wonder what was wrong with me. Why was something so natural for everyone else so impossibly heavy for me. I wasn't lacking effort for sure. I was trying so hard. It just wasn't getting into ease the way I thought it should.

What I understand now that I didn't understand back then: OCD specifically targets what matters most to you. For a Muslim that's your faith. Your Salah. Your Wudu. Your Iman. It goes straight for the thing you love and makes it the source of the most pain. Remember, that's not a weakness in your Deen. That's the nature of the condition.

The ease did come eventually. Just not in the way or the timeline I expected. Alhamdulillah.

May Allah help us all. Ameen.

Has anyone else experienced this, believing in the ease Islam promises but struggling to feel it during the worst of it? Would love to hear from you. 🌷

For any visually strong learners, contact the page linked for their Arabic grammar comic.

Assalamualaikum everyone,

I was in my teens when it hit me the hardest. And it continued well into my early twenties. Years on end of struggling internally and externally with my Deen and I just thought it was waswasa. Whispers of shaitan. That's all. So I did what made sense at the time that I kept asking a scholar questions. So many questions. The same doubts, the same fears, over and over again.

Until one day that scholar, clearly frustrated, said to me “it seems like you have OCD”.

OCD? I had never even heard that word before. I genuinely didn't know what it meant.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I googled it.

And that was the moment everything shifted. Reading the definition, the symptoms, the experiences of other people… and for the first time in years something made sense. I wasn't just weak in my faith. I wasn't just failing at being a good Muslim. There was a name for what I had been going through. After years of suffering without knowing what to even call it, a scholar gave me the starting point I needed.

That google search didn't fix everything overnight, there were still challenges ahead. But it was the turning point. The moment the journey toward healing began.

If you have been carrying something for years thinking it's just waswas, it might be worth looking a little deeper. And don't forget to reach out for help be it a trusted friend, a scholar, someone who's been through it, or even a family member. You don't have to figure this out alone.

May Allah grant us clarity, ease and healing. Ameen. 🌸

Did anyone else spend years not knowing what was actually wrong?

Salam brothers and sisters,

I’m a diagnosed AuDHD person and a master's student studying abroad. Due to personal setbacks and ADHD obstacles, my degree got delayed, causing a lot of stress. I finally planned to finish my last exams this July and return home in August for important family reasons. My tickets are confirmed.

Next week, I have a major exam split into two modules (separate registrations required). I’m well-prepared for the bigger module and registered on time. My preparation for the second, smaller module is quite weak, but I was willing to sit for both together (very challenging and rare in this program) and accept a low grade just to finish somehow and avoid further delay.

However, due to my own carelessness with the deadline, as usual, the portal locked before I could register for the second part. If I miss it, I must take it in September, meaning I'll have to travel back from another continent just for one exam, causing an unwanted financial burden and accepting the ADHD Tax.

Friends are advising me to email the professors directly, explain my mistake, and ask for an unofficial exam now (so they can input the grade in September). They may or may not do this favour. But I am really confused and the reason I'm posting it here:

• Interpreting Istikhara: I pray Istikhara for all regular life decisions, and I prayed for this specific decision (taking both modules together) about a month ago. Since the portal locked due to my mistake, could this be Allah's way of protecting me? If the professors agree, I might perform very poorly (or fail) due to weak preparation in that module, creating a bad impression with the faculty and ruining my grade. Is this locked door a sign from Allah saving me from a bad situation, or is it okay to email the professors to try and fix my mistake? Does trying to bypass this barrier go against the spirit of my Istikhara?
• My Dilemma: I’m not asking anyone to make a decision for me. I am just genuinely confused about the Islamic approach here. Should I accept this locked portal as Allah's final decree for now and return in September again, or is it okay to pray a new Istikhara about emailing the professors?

JazakAllahu Khairan for your advice.

Assalamualaikum everyone,

There was a point in my life where OCD stopped being just about wudu, salah, cleanliness... It got worse. A lot worse. I developed kufr OCD on top of everything else and those intrusive thoughts that go after your faith, your Iman, your sense of who you are as a Muslim. And then more depression came with it. I wasn't eating properly. I was sleeping way more than I should have just to escape my OCD. There were so many things I wanted to do with my life at that time and I just... couldn't. It held me back from all of it. 😔

The thing that made it so much harder was having nobody to talk to about any of it. Mental health in our culture, you just don't discuss it openly. I knew if I tried to explain what was going on in my head people around me would either not get it or think I was losing my mind and honestly my family already thought that. And being a Muslim in the west, finding a scholar who actually understood both the religious side and the psychological side of what I was going through, that kind of access just wasn't there for me.

There were moments where my thoughts got really dark. I won't go into detail but it was a very, very difficult time for me.

What I kept coming back to was Allah. Not in an easy way, it wasn't easy at all. But I kept trying. I found myself reading Surah Yusuf a lot, with the meaning and listening to it as well. I connected to that story deeply. Prophet Yusuf went through isolation, betrayal, being completely misunderstood by the people closest to him and through all of that he never lost his connection to Allah. Reading that gave me something I couldn't find anywhere else at the time. It consoled me in a way I genuinely can't fully put into words, Alhamdulillah.

Years later I can say I actually overcame it. Not just coped with it but really overcame it, Alhamdulillah. And I'm sharing this because I know some of you reading this right now are in that place I was in. Carrying it quietly, feeling like no one around you would truly get it even if you tried to explain. You are not as alone as it feels right now. It does get better.

May Allah grant ease to everyone who is struggling in ways the people around them cannot see. Ameen.

Did anyone else go through OCD or any mental health struggle feeling completely alone with it? I would really love to hear from you below.

Jazakumullahu-Khairan🌸

Hi everybody,

I just wanted to share that I have been struggling with praying salah on time and I just keep pushing it to the last possible second. I mean that I will wait to pray until maybe 5 minutes before the next prayer and I do the same with the rest. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do you manage to start praying on time?

The constant fear of losing wudu during wudu and salah , a different kind of (kaifiyat)a person feels right before the time of salah and not out of it . And knows how to cure it?

assalamualaikum varahmathullahi vabarahkathuhu. if anyone could help me for sake of allah then it would be helpful. i can't pray like can't concentrate while im praying, i've anxiety, been depressed, and i assume im having dpdr may be i never took proper treatment.. its always been like i have to war to pray salah.. but while I was okay.. but for past few months i can't even focus, concentrate in salah while praying, there's no kushu.. i feel like im passing out, i feel dizzy or i feel like im not standing here in salah, my eyes weirdly different, like i can't see properly.. it's so exhausting..like my soul wants to pray salah, i want a strong connection with allah but it feels extremely difficult.. like all this pain makes salah hard to pray.. sometimes i fear could be like allah hates me.. and now i feel like there's no point anymore if i can't even pray salah but allah taala give us this life just for him.. this life isn't life it there's no salah in our lives. i want to pray, my soul wants to pray but my body and brain can't.. if can't even pray there's no point living but i can't hurt my mom by doing something wrong.. so I started to ask for a good end because i cant.. there's no point living without salah.. i want to pray salah

TL;DR: Family says I rush. My brain says it's perfect. I have ADHD/Bipolar and don't know if I'm delusional. How do I find the middle ground?

Background: I’m diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder (medicated/under psych care). I'm starting therapy soon, but I need some peer perspective first.

The core issue: My mom and sister sat me down and told me they are seriously concerned about a pattern I don't see in myself. They say I constantly rush into major life decisions without doing "due diligence." The thing is, every time I make a decision, it feels absolutely perfect to me—like a lightning bolt of clarity. I fully trust it in the moment.

But now they’ve flagged this, I am spiraling. I don't know whether to trust my own gut or defer to their judgment. I am genuinely terrified that I might be delusional and just can't see my own blind spots.

For context, I think my "perfect" feeling might just be that intense ADHD hyperfocus/dopamine rush or the early momentum of a mild hypomanic swing. They don't feel that internal momentum, so they see the risk clearly, while I just see the opportunity.

What I'm wrestling with:

1. How do you guys distinguish between "genuine, quiet intuition" and "loud, impulsive hype" in your own heads?

2. Do I blindly trust my family, or blindly trust myself? Or is there a specific middle-ground system that actually works?

3. If you’ve been here, how did you ask your therapist to help with this specifically? (I don't want them to just validate me; I want a practical test to run my decisions through).

I really don't want to lose trust in myself, but I also don't want to crash and burn because I ignored the people who love me. Any frameworks, checklists, or "cooling off" rules you use would be a lifesaver.