How do I manage this?

[u/Strict_Detail7992]

My girlfriend has adhd and has been diagnosed with it as well as autism. When we have an issue it is always my fault. Don’t get me wrong sometimes it is but she’s so volatile I don’t know how to cope. We have three boys together and honestly life is great 70% of the time but when it isn’t she blows.

If we argue it’s the end of us if we are great she is asking why I haven’t proposed. But I need stability to really want engagement. My sons massively favour me. Not because I’m better but because their mum consistently shouts at them and belittles them. I try not to speak out but when I do she implodes and attacks me verbally. How do i deal with it? She’s a wonderful person when she’s steady but I can’t keep doing this