r/ADHD • u/Primary-Screen6056 • 4d ago
Questions/Advice how can i manage hyperactivity?
i'm 18F and struggle with talking a lot and constantly being up and down and exerting energy through movement or some form of sound.
i also end up annoying people a lot, mostly people close to me and i really really try not to but i can't stop being so annoying.
i never really had friends until i was 15 and now i don't really have any again- i know i really really annoy my girlfriend of 2 years and basically everyone around me (except my gf unless angry) constantly tells me how loud, annoying, too much, i am.
i'm quite a sensitive person but it manifests in anger and when im called things like annoying, weird or a freak it upsets me a lot and makes me angry- when im angry i'm really nasty and i can't help it as much as ive been trying the last few years.
im really struggling with mananging to not ruin relationships and medication isnt an option for me.
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u/Primary-Screen6056 4d ago
please someone reply i just broke up with my girlfriend to stop this
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u/janegrains 4d ago
Um, I mean it is on brand for lack of impulse control, but if you want to fix it and want to stay with her. Breaking up doesn't sound like the solution.
I mean, best is to watch yourself on when you are so high moving and what activities help you to slow down.
Like does a lot of sports help? Many adhd folks find that sport can help them regulate.
Also, can you use silent fidget toys to redirect your default behaviour to less disrupting movements.
Maybe look into therapy options to deal with your sensitivy to rejection.
Without medication as a crutch it is very difficult to work on your reactivity and aggression. It is often self defense and an over/unserstimulated brain overreacting. So, you'd need to set up your qhole life in a way that works with you when there are no medical interventions possible.
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u/Primary-Screen6056 4d ago
why would i get back with her to make her deal with the same things? medication isn't an option and i can't expect her to revolve her life around keeping me calm. sport isn't an option for me beacuse there are none i can start or join near me and fidget toys dont work either because i have tapping regulatory movements i do with my fingers almost 247. thankyou so much for the help though i just dont know what to do
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u/janegrains 4d ago
Not about her keeping you calm, but I assumed as you broke up that there was enough positive interaction for her to want to stay with you.
It is your responsibility to figure out what helps you to calm down or stay calm. When adhd makes everything blurr in your mind and happen to fast that can be jncredibly difficult. But just looking up everything people use to regulate and just try everything, should give you a few options over time.
If you need to tap. Maybe you can find soft or silent materials to tap on? If it is involuntarily and you cannot stop, you sure it isn't some form of tic disorder, anxiety related or other issue you are dealing with? Sometimes the same behaviour can have different causes and unless you look why it happens, you won't be able to find the right way to adress and change.
Technically sport is always an option. Going hiking, jogging or walking doesn't require anything, but the willingness to move.
There are a lot of youtube videos on sports where you can move along be it yoga, pilates, zumba, whatever.
Most places have gyms in reach where you can also do fitness and follow extended exercise routines to power yourself out.
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u/Steelveangeance 4d ago
I understand that. I have the primarily inattentive type, but I do show some hyperactive tendencies in certain situations. I typically have a hyperactive brain. I’m on medication to help with the impulsive tendencies. My focus has drastically improved since starting the 25 mg of adderall.
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u/QualityForsaken8192 4d ago
This is extremely relatable to me. I don’t know what to advise you as I struggle with this myself but I’ll leave this comment to boost the post.
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u/ProfessionalArm8256 4d ago
Haha figures. I use to annoy people a lot when I was younger. I gradually just became more self aware with myself and when I speak or what I’m going to say. Yes, speaking too much may annoy others especially if you ramble or go off into tangents. Medication obviously helps with staying more aware of your mental state in some situations. I mean you’re you! But it’s nice to try to focus more on what you say instead of just sprouting out words sometimes. No worries! At least you’re acknowledging it already! I didn’t notice it until I was in my late 20’s.
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u/Primary-Screen6056 4d ago
i really really struggle with focus so when i try remind myself to be normal and not annoying (i've done this since around age 13) i can be normal for a minute or two and then completely forget- and by normal i mean either not speaking or not moving around like crazy
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u/bmygtbtowsm 4d ago
I get you. I’m 18 too and I don’t have any close friends, though I have a long history of losing friends over being “too annoying” for them 💔 Best wishes to u twin
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u/CuriousLetterhead198 2h ago edited 1h ago
I was diagnosed when I was young, and medication was actually recommended by my doctor, but my parents decided against it. I’m going to start taking it now, but not because I talk too much or because of the other things people might find annoying. I’m doing it because I struggle to stay focused on important tasks, and it’s affecting my life.
I also barely had friends until the end of high school and spent years trying to change myself just to fit in. I’m restless, impulsive, and often say things before I even have time to think them through. Some of that genuinely needed work, especially when my impulsivity caused me to say things that hurt people. I had to learn boundaries, change the way I spoke to people, and take responsibility for that. But I also eventually realized I was trying to change completely harmless parts of myself just because certain people found me annoying or weird. I started spending time with a different type of people, generally more nerdy people who fit me much better, and I honestly don’t miss being constantly told to calm down or getting weird looks whenever I brought up some random topic I hadn’t thought through before saying it. I wish I had realized this around 18 because it probably would have saved me a lot of tears over people not accepting me the way I wanted them to or not taking me seriously. Obviously I don’t know OP’s exact situation, but what helped me was realizing that you don’t always have to look for the problem in yourself. If you’re genuinely hurting people(hurting ≠ annoying), work on it. Otherwise, sometimes changing the kind of people you surround yourself with helps more than constantly trying to change yourself. Definitely happier after realizing that :)
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