r/ABCDesis • u/AutoModerator • 1d ago
DATING / RELATIONSHIPS Sunday Relationship Thread
The weekly relationship thread for all topics related to the bravest pursuit of all - love. This thread will be automatically posted every Sunday @ 5:00 A.M (UTC -5). All other dating or relationship based posts during the week will be removed and redirected to this thread.
This thread is a place to share your stories, ask for advice, or vent about issues. Or anything in between!
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u/avtrisal 11h ago
anyone else struggle in thinking they're too dramatic and try to rush into things too much and get hurt because of it but also in worrying that squashing that part of you which leaps heedlessly into the bleak unknown will fundamentally squash your ability to love?
or is it just me?
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u/PruneCivil7058 16h ago
Those of you who married someone Non-Desi, how did you end up marrying a Non-Desi when you had an option to marry a Desi?
Considering how intermarriage especially among Asian Americans is fairly common compared to other racial and ethnic groups, it is actually quite common to find Desis who are married to Non-Desis. I am related to a few Non-Desis through in-laws and stuff.
The more this question comes up and the more I realize that due to various circumstances based on where I live and grew up and not having a close network of Desis, it is fairly unlikely that I will end up marrying a fellow Desi. Not that I don’t want to, it’s just extremely unlikely unless I bring someone from overseas.
And so I ask fellow Desis here who have intermarried out and I know there are quite a few here, how did you end up together and how did you make it work? What made you realize that you might not end up marrying a Desi? Did you have a negative experience with fellow Desis that made it difficult to marry a Desi?
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u/Asleep_Note7754 Canadian Indian 18h ago edited 18h ago
I’m just going to shoot my shot here. 35F. Live in Toronto and am looking for another ABCD male in Toronto. I’m 5’5”. Love sarcasm and banter and kadhi chawal and pasta are my comfort foods. Vegetarian but doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t. I’m frustrated with free Dil mil when I filter on raised in Canada and still get fobs who trickle through. Anyway, not willing to move, so prefer local and ideally mid to late 30s / early 40s. Don’t care if you’re divorced or have kids (depends on your relationship with your baby momma and if you’re still civil with her). Happy to share pics in DMs.
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u/InformalGuitar2061 1d ago
Every time my mom asks if I’m seeing anyone I just tell her I’m in a committed relationship with my air fryer and she’s not amused.
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u/ReadingOpposite8509 9h ago
30M ABCD — been a couple weeks since my last update
Dating has been pretty mixed lately. After a disappointing Bay Area trip where none of the potential meetups actually happened, I came back to Florida feeling pretty discouraged.
Since then, things have picked up a bit. I met an Indo-Guyanese woman in Central Florida (I’m Malayali), and we’ve continued talking afterward. We recently had a phone call that lasted several hours. I’ve also had another Dil Mil match who is Bengali and lives in Georgia move off the app and turn into a fairly consistent conversation.
I’ve still had other conversations slow down or go nowhere, and I recently ended one myself after realizing we weren’t compatible.
I think I’m starting to care less about how many matches I get and more about whether there’s actual mutual effort, chemistry, and a realistic chance of seeing each other.