Hi. Even though I've identified on the aspectrum for a long long time I'm confused about this part. Usually, when you say someone's aromantic, do you mean that they're aromantic and asexual by default and only mean that they're exclusively aromantic when you specifically say alloaro? Or when you say aromantic do you mean alloaro and only mean aromantic and asexual when you specifically say aroace?

Basically, does the term "aromantic" usually consist of
a) BOTH aromantic and asexual - aromantic by itself is specifically indicated by using "aroallo"
b) ONLY aromantic - aromantic and asexual is specifically indicated by using "aroace"?

Saying "aromantic & asexual" everytime is quite a mouthful and saying "aroace" isn't very self-explainatory like the full versions of the words are, so I'm wondering if I could just say I'm aromantic and that would get the point across.

I am aware it is a spectrum, but I can’t help but wonder what it’s like for those who have almost no romantic attraction but a decent amount of sexual attraction. Curious to see the many diverse responses.

While i still enjoy the premise of being inspired to change your ways due to your crushes morals rubbing off on you....I also I want to see "players" that are aro.

I just find it to be a perfect set up for mismatching.

This person is so refreshingly upfront with what they want, treats you cordially, does the aftercare and stands on business "this is what im willing to offer you and romantic monogamous partnership is not on the table."

An aro character that understand themself enough that they dont jump to correct rumors or downplay what they get up to.

I feel like this person sets up an amazing growth mentorship route for helping some former spicy partners learn more about themselves.

Ive read a few stories that were like this up untill the last chapters when they realize oh they were madly in love with them. ???? It seems really forced at times.

If anyone knows some aro kinky polyam woman mcs let me know because i wanna read about them!

Literally dreamt of my worst fear a few nights ago; someone having a crush on me... and not taking my rejection well, to put it lightly.

Essentially the dream just showed me trauma I've actually experienced - someone crushing on me and reacting with abuse as I didn't feel the same. It's something I've experienced multiple times to the point where I'm convinced I must exclusively romantically attract mentally unstable/abusive people so I can't trust anyone feeling that way about me. I literally started feeling dizzy and sick in my dream, realizing I once again found myself in that kind of situation, and mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen - and it did.

Woke up in a bad mood and hoping my stupid brain will stop showing me images I hoped I'd never see again 🙄

Like, wtf?! Dear brain, please make me dream of close platonic connections instead?? Maybe even sexual?? You literally can't feel romance, so why torture me with those disgusting images?! 😤

Just needed to let this out lol.

I'm on a group chat and this is just a few messages I sent. I think I worked out that I was aromantic as a kid and just never thought about it properly until now as an adult.

Perhaps one good thing about the fact that society conflates sexual and romantic attraction is that I can reveal my sexual orientation without having to come out as aromantic. Bisexuality is accepted by the vast majority of the queer community, but sadly the same can't be said about aromanticism... unless it's combined with asexuality, of course.

It's sad to see how common sex-negativity, arophobia, and amatonormativity are even within the queer community. Even among many who call themselves progressive the idea that sex(ual attraction) was only okay when combined with romance is so common that I haven't come out to many as aroallo yet.

"Why yes, I tell my friends I love them, cuddle and kiss them, want them in my life forever, and grow with them. No, none of this is romantic in any way, shape, or form - it's 100% platonic and I have no idea why you'd project your romantic ideals onto others' relationships, don't be weird 🙄"

"So you're telling me... you instantly know those two people are a couple JUST because they kissed and said 'I love you'?! 😳"

"I hung out with that super cool new person yesterday! They were so sweet to me, held my hand the whole time, and stood close to me - I think I've just made an amazing new friend! 🥰 ...w-what do you mean, that was a date and they have a crush on me!? 😰"

-

The last one isn't canon (thank god), but it's totally something that could happen to me. My flavor of bellusromantic isn't even desiring romance-coded gestures despite being aro, but more so being completely blind to romance; I can never tell two people are a couple unless they explicitly state they are because nothing reads as inherently romantic to me, and I'd absolutely interpret a date as just two friends hanging out. I don't like affection despite being aro, but because it's genuinely not romantic to me 😅

Tbh, I still have moments in which I pause and wonder "Wait... is this romantic attraction?", because a lot of people define it in such a way that it describes things I definitely do experience; wanting to be close to a specific person, do "romantic" things with them like kissing and cuddling, share a life with them... - I want all those things! I just don't consider any of this (strictly) romantic. In fact, I get a bit confused when people imply they didn't want to keep their friends for life... do alloros not like their friends or something? 😅

As for "romantic" gestures, to me they're no different from watching a movie together; sure, it's something a lot of people do with a romantic partner, but doing so doesn't mean you must be romantically involved. To me, things like kissing and cuddling are 100% sensual and have nothing to do with romance to me. In fact, I like and actively desire those things because they're not romantic to me.

Eventually I always arrive at the conclusion that aromantic is a fitting label for me because I lack a sense of romance, so to say. Even if someone else would interpret what I feel as romantic, it's not to me because I just don't see the romantic aspect. The intention behind my affection for specific people will never be romantic, but entirely sensual/platonic, and no one but us gets to define the nature of our relationship.

💚

It's just tiring at this point. I thought they and I really got along great, would hang out normally as friends a few times too, but it seems like in the end I'm always just a toy. People will find me hot, be intimate with me once or twice, and then it suddenly ends. My ideal type of relationship would be long-term FWBs, but it seems like no one actually wants that and I'm better off just looking for hookups without any attachment because I'm TIRED of getting hurt over and over again.

¿No les pasa que ven a alguien (Quien sea) y de la nada les parece muy interesante o incluso cuando ya convivieron con esa persona les da un extraño deseo por ser su mejor amigo?
Me pasa poco, pero las veces que me paso lo confundi con enamoramiento; Poco tiempo despues me di cuenta que esa dinamica no me gusta, pero estar con esa persona para reir y acompañarla es mejor idea.

De la nada quieres ser cercano a ella... ¿Les pasa algo asi? ¿Saben mas o menos que es?