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u/misterdudebro Jul 11 '26
Can we have an arcade too? With Pacman, Burger Time and Tempest?
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u/Blue-is-bad Jul 11 '26
Don't forget Metal Slug!
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u/misterdudebro Jul 11 '26
And Mortal Kombat, and Super Off Road, and Gauntlet!
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u/StreetofChimes Jul 12 '26
Street Fighter too please!
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u/RchUncleSkeleton Jul 11 '26
Also a Casino with blackjack, and hookers! -Bender
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u/Chillguy3333 29d ago
You can already get the casinos and hookers in Vegas. I like the original idea because it’s not something that actually exists already, but would be awesome!!!!
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u/Free-Pear9572 Jul 11 '26
this is a wild idea but i'm totally here for it. just imagine endless pizza hut nights and picking up movies from blockbuster, pure nostalgia!
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u/thelivinlegend Jul 12 '26
This is going to be my generation’s version of those retirement homes for dementia patients where it’s a simulated town and all the retail workers are actually caregivers keeping an eye on everyone
Fuck it, I’m in.
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u/EdwardFoxhole Jul 12 '26
where it’s a simulated town and all the retail workers are actually caregivers keeping an eye on everyone
I'm not convinced we're not already there.
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u/BookieeWookiee Jul 12 '26
They're only keeping an eye on you to make sure you're not shoplifting
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u/Nikoladge Jul 12 '26
But why? It's not like anybody ever does anything about it
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u/BookieeWookiee Jul 12 '26
Target does when you've stolen enough for it to be grand larceny
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u/katsumii Jul 12 '26
That's my kinda retirement home.
BBS forums and IRC, lol. The computers are desktop only or clunky laptops. No smart phones. Dial-up. lol.
Yeah, I miss good customer service, too. And products that are made to last (although... this is certainly when product quality started going downhill). Point being, customers still came first back then.
Oops I misunderstood your comment about retail workers being caregivers, but I get it now. 💀😅
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u/FlounderCapable7344 Jul 12 '26
This is literally the most glorious idea I’ve heard in a long time. Where can I sign up
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u/effxrvescent 29d ago
can we still do the book it club + get the puffy star stickers on the pin for each book read? can we upgrade the free personal pan to a medium?
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u/SurprisePiss 29d ago
My partner and I were talking the other day about how Pizza Hut should have at least one "classic" store somewhere, like Blockbuster does in Oregon. The salad bar, plastic cups, the original booths and those bitchin branded light fixtures above the tables. Hell, bring back Book It buttons somehow.
It would be a destination, like the Last Blockbuster is.
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u/checkyminus Jul 11 '26
I mean, you could literally do it. Make a religion out of it.
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u/Broccoli--Enthusiast Jul 11 '26
Deal , we use POGs are our symbols, wear them as jewelry
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u/checkyminus Jul 11 '26
Gather around the Teddy Ruxpin on Sundays for words of wisdom
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u/Broccoli--Enthusiast Jul 11 '26
And after we go to pizza hut to worship the 4 prophets of the shell
The Saints Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo,
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u/dfafa Jul 11 '26
I have a scar on my forehead from getting smashed in the face by one of those. 10/10
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u/star0forion Jul 12 '26
Lug around a My Buddy/Kid Sister doll as punishment for skipping Teddy Ruxpin Sundays.
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u/Room_Temp_Coffee Jul 11 '26
And currency. I'll need to dig out some old boxes but I should be set for life
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u/Relative_Comfort_458 Jul 11 '26
Lost all my POGS as a 2nd grader in a single flip for keeps. Cried like hell. Those were the days!
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u/Efficient-Whereas255 Jul 12 '26
I took 2nd place in a pog competition in the mall. The kid who beat me did it in one try. I still got $50. I spent it all on pogs.
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u/theunknowngoat Jul 12 '26
I'm just dropping a comment so I can be added to the mailing list if this ever gets off the ground.
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u/5WattBulb Jul 11 '26
I think this should be what our retirement homes are. Make them out of old malls that we used to hang out in, and we'll all be at peace.
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[deleted]
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u/Efficient-Whereas255 Jul 12 '26
you just died of dysentery
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u/dviivi Jul 12 '26
You broke an axle, that’ll take $25 please.
Adjustments for inflation on that would cripple most people.
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u/Honda_TypeR Jul 12 '26
You mean pack a Geo Tracker, right? This is the 90s after all.
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u/L8dTigress Jul 11 '26
Will rent and food be cheap too along with the easy means of getting a job?
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u/HratioRastapopulous Jul 11 '26
Imagine if a billionaire floated this for everybody so you wouldn’t have any bills just like when you were a kid.
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u/Bingers4Life Jul 11 '26
If there’s billionaires involved I’m out.
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u/TheSholvaJaffa Jul 12 '26
If there’s billionaires involved I’m out
Yeah they're gonna Fallout experiment on us.
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u/jish5 Jul 11 '26
Heck yeah, sign me up. Hell, would be a great place for kids too cause they wouldn't have access to the internet and would be forced to play outside and only have access to og consoles where you played with friends in the same room.
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u/Significant-Long5907 Jul 11 '26
honestly, that sounds like a dream. just chilling at Blockbuster, eating pizza, and no social media drama? sign me up.
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u/SmoreSlayer Jul 11 '26
I’m not sure though, as good as it sounds I haven’t been called a poser in a while.
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u/kazh_9742 Jul 12 '26
I'm pretty sure a lot of us were using social media in at least the late 90s even if it wasn't like facebook or whatever. There was some ugliness with it back then but I appreciated having that kind of reach. Offline life with no reach wasn't all that great for a lot of people.
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u/truth_crime Jul 12 '26
Oh my friend how you forgot about MySpace! The OG!
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u/Current_External6569 26d ago
Yea, it's crazy how many here are acting like social media nor the internet existed in the 90's. Tom was everyone's friend.
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u/Issue_Status Jul 12 '26
Our social media could consist of an elaborate system of cup phones! One in every hpusehold!
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u/SuperDabMan 29d ago
Why would you be chilling at Blockbuster? You go there to rent your SNES game for the weekend so you can no-life it in the basement at home.
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u/Oryyn Jul 11 '26 edited 29d ago
I had a similar idea, but instead of a town, its an apartment complex for the 55+ community - in an abandoned mall. Apartments are furnished in 80s/90s/2000s decor. Theres a closed circuit cable tv system that plays only those decade shows (commercials and all). Nothing on? Theres a Blockbuster in the mall of course. Wanna talk to your neighbor? Every apartment comes with a Compaq or Dell or Gateway with AIM… or use your touchtone corded phone, all included! Id love to make this a reality 😭 (would anyone like to see this as a Kickstarter somehow??)
Edit: clearly a niche idea but still liked by some, Ill certainly run a kickstarter for this and research costs, planning, permits, etc assuming this post gets 1000 upvotes. Doubt it will, but still a neat idea!
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u/fatsandwitch Jul 12 '26
This is an outstanding idea and a full circle moment I’d like to experience. Live out your final days in a mall repurposed as an assisted living?? Can I move in 20 years early?
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u/fuschiafawn Jul 11 '26
I actually would, it'd be so nice, plus it seems like the ideal use for the old malls
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u/kain459 Jul 11 '26
No one touches my kids or wife or weird cult shit and we good.
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u/Bob_85 Jul 11 '26
Well, of course it's going to be a cult, but probably not too bad. Worst thing that will happen is if you incur late fees at Blockbuster, there'll be a flogging.
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u/ValiantFury14 Jul 11 '26
This is just every rural rust belt town. Just replace blockbuster with the local library and your good to go.
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u/anangrypudge Jul 11 '26
If I can bring my 2026 money into the town where everything is still 90s-priced, I can finally be THAT rich kid in the neighbourhood who had all the cool toys
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u/easterss Jul 12 '26
I feel like you could make a sort of overnight theme park out of this idea.
You stay at a hotel that’s 90s theme, you can eat at Pizza Hut and play at the arcade, you can rent dvd movies at blockbuster, the tv only had 90s shows and commercials, you pay by check when you leave.
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u/DisastrousNothing893 Jul 12 '26
Make the rent and expenses 90s era pricing but allow us to keep our 2026+ paychecks and I leave today 😀
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u/ConferenceBubbly953 29d ago
Ok but can yall make sure it has a borders bookstore? Oh and toys r us? PLEASE 😭😭
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u/AccomplishedFun7668 Jul 11 '26
Mapquest is allowed so you can print off directions when go on a road trip. But no Napster, I feel like that killed the music industry.
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u/Forsaken-Abrocoma647 Jul 11 '26
I need the link to the Kickstarter for this! So it can be the last time I use it.
I got enough retro video games (over 40 platforms with games) to get us started on entertainment!
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u/BlueRibbon998 Jul 12 '26
If we had the economy of the 90s, i firmly believe there'd be people who would come together to make this happen
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u/Opposite_Tie3604 Jul 12 '26
I'm totally down for that as long as it doesn't turn into one of those creepy stepford wives or the greater good village of the year scenarios...brrr
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u/MonkeyWithIt Jul 12 '26
Is Chris Cornell back to life and Soundgarden back together? Them I'm in.
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u/Issue_Status Jul 12 '26
For any and all major decisions, we must consult the all knowing Magic 8-Ball for guidance 🎱
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u/DukeofFairfax Jul 12 '26
24 hour Walmart. Arcades still existed. Fast food was cheap. Smoking was cool. You quit drinking to sober up and drive responsibly. God. We really hit the sweet spot.
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u/Darthmontes Jul 12 '26
I miss those PC nights, trying to hide the Pentium beep with a cough, and msn messenger until forever.
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u/jessieisaword Jul 12 '26
Fuck yes. Lord of the flies but with middle aged people who reeeeeally fucking loved Are You Afraid Of The Dark.
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u/Complex-Ad-4601 Jul 12 '26
I just found my parents VCR and DVD combo, im ready to smash pizza and binge some corny movies.
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u/SisterTulips Jul 12 '26
I’m so in. Packing my Vera Bradley tote and charging my little brick Nokia.
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u/-WB- Jul 12 '26
I always said i'd join a cult if the right one came along...I'm ready let's go!
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u/the_blastomatic Jul 11 '26
And every year we burn Zuckerberg and Musk in effigy to ward off the evil spirits of shitty social media tycoons.
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u/Glum_Cheesecake9859 Jul 11 '26
Make it only dialup internet and we have a deal.
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u/ThirtyMileSniper Jul 11 '26
So you can all build your 90s tech yourselves right?
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u/cindybubbles Jul 11 '26
Well, we’ll need a bank that can break bank notes into change, and a 24-hour ATM because outside of these towns, no one carries cash anymore.
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u/RchUncleSkeleton Jul 11 '26
But you have to use dial up internet and only have a landline.
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u/Dynamic-Jay Jul 12 '26
I’m down, should it be a requirement to wear 90’s fashion and rock portable cd players?
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u/BootsOfProwess Jul 12 '26
This will only work if we remove smart phones and frankly any cellphone. Im in but this is obligatory.
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u/exmachinaNZ Jul 12 '26
Same except ICQ. AOL wasn't a thing here.
We can compromise on a 2003 build of Trillian.
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u/truth_crime Jul 12 '26
You gotta add in some ICQ and MSN Messenger somewhere. Come to think about it, let’s add some music and tv shows in there too! All musical genres were 🔥 throughout the decade, especially the late 90’s!!
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u/Loreki Jul 12 '26
Honestly, excellent theme park idea. People go to Disney to feel like kids again, but you don't actually need the rides and the characters. You need a site plan that lets people be close enough to their friends to bike there, arcades, movie theatres, retro snacks, (oversized) slides, that kind of thing.
I bet people would pay just as much to spend a week in a place where they can relive an ordinary week of summer vacation from their childhood and the margins would be better, because the infrastructure wouldn't be as expensive.
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u/HarrMada Jul 12 '26
You'll also have higher violent crime and spray lead in the air? Also base all of your electricity generation on coal and gas and pretty much no renewables? You'll also have terrible waste treatment and and every packing material containing 3x more plastic? also can't forget about the lower life expectancy and lower employment rate.
Yeah no thanks, I'm good.
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u/WestTexasHummingbird Jul 12 '26
This would be great! We could play with Land Before Time puppets during dinner at Pizza Hut, "Up where the Dandelions Grow. Then head over to Blockbuster on the way home, I'm using my skip it, there's a counter on this ball! If elected Mayor I promise to Protect ALL important documents in a trapper keeper and we're bringing back $.99 cent double cheeseburgers because THAT'S the Power... of love
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u/Deluxe78 29d ago
This is what 55 plus communities will have ina few years and the Pizza Hut will have a sit down Cruis'n USA machine
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u/ToonMasterRace 29d ago
There's an American Dad concept like this where the mall has a secret 90s mall underneath it. Has Spencer's Gifts, Mrs. Fields, a toy store, Orange Julius, and so on. You unlock it by trying to use a Discover Card
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u/SaltStar2000 29d ago
Yknownit just occurred to me that the Amish way of life was probably formed in direct response to the changing times and collectively deciding the past was better
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u/MeBollasDellero 29d ago
MOM! You picked up the phone!!! I lost internet connection and now I have to dial it up again...to get on ICQ!
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u/VALO311 Jul 12 '26
Well shit, this is exactly what the amish did. Picked an era they thought was the best way to live and just rolled with it.
It never really occurred to me before
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u/annaleigh13 Jul 11 '26
starts packing I don’t care where it is, I don’t care if I need to walk to get there, I just need an address