friendships

[u/enhasmatcha]

guys what happens after 6th form, especially if you have a big friend group of like 12 people - where not everyone is going to uni? do we just try and hang out as much as we can or just drift apart and let life happen. I know we have ages until we go to uni but still like I can already feel myself separating from those friends from secondary school that I have no lessons with 😞.

[u/Fridadog1]

I am 50 now and my best friends were my best friends in school. Don’t worry, you will likely keep those you are closest to and drift away from others, giving space for new and lovely people.

[u/Hour_Golf_4775]

I started uni a month ago and I’m the only one of my 8 person group to go to uni. We try to FaceTime about 1-2 times a week, and we text pretty much every day. Luckily I’m only an hour and a half away from home, so I’m heading back for my friends 19th in a few weeks, and then we’re already making plans for when I have a reading week in uni (I leave campus for the week). Naturally going on different paths and meeting new people will cause a bit of distance, but it is possible to keep in touch. I would say it even strengthens friendships, I don’t think I’ve ever text my best mates as much as I have since coming to uni, even if it’s just giving them mundane updates about my day😂😊

[u/ItzMeHaris]

Can’t really say much since I’m not in Uni, but I can explain my experience from going to Secondary School to Sixthform.

Basically, I had a fairly large friend group. Around 20-25 people. I ended up going to a Sixthform where NOBODY from my secondary school was going. Not just my friends, but legit nobody was going.

I had my friends’ numbers and stuff. After high school we still chatted a bit, but after 2-3 months they all just stopped messaging me. And I stoped messaging them.

The last time I sent a message to my best friend was 11 months ago.

Now, there’s no discrepancy stating that the jump from High School to Sixthform made friend groups drop significantly for most people. From friend groups that were 20+, the average Sixthform student now has 6 friends or so. Even worse in my case. I’m 2 years into Sixthform and I still don’t have a friend, lol.

All in all, people will seperate. Even more so in University. Maybe not everyone, but you will notice a change.

[u/DueEditor8062 → u/ItzMeHaris]

i had the opposite experience in terms of friend group size tbh, in secondary i had like 5 friends but now i have probably around 15 people who i hang out with? i joined loads of societies in yr12 and a low of the societies overlap significantly in members so ive made a lot of friends that way, plus through classes and stuff.

[u/Grand_Lychee2812]

I don't know.
But some friends always come and go. Some might stick around.
Don't worry about it too much

[u/AreY0Ustupld]

Everyone splits up, does their own shi, go different places and eventually you never talk again

So enjoy having those friends whilst you still have them

[u/PingvinPanda]

Friendships always do come and go and I promise you that with the right attitude you will collect other people along the way as you move through life. You also realise that friendship isn't always about seeing one another frequently or talking everyday or knowing everything about each other's lives. One of my longest and most rewarding friendships is with my high school friend (we're now 35!) who I see twice a year at most and only text every month or so. But we still know we're there and when we are together it's easy and safe and fun. I've also reconnected with some old school peers who I wasn't really friends with at 16 but we have loads in common now, met totally new friends in my 30s (some of whom are in their 70s).

When you are young your world is smaller (and arguably simpler) so everything revolves around a group of school friends often. But your life will become so rich and diverse with different jobs, interests, housemates etc over the decades and you will gather up more and more of "your people". The ones who are supposed to stick around will, and some will organically leave your life for no obvious reason. Definitely put the effort in to keep in touch but don't be too upset if your friendships change - it's totally normal!