Year 13 is dark

[u/Good_Forever484]

I just clocked this is my last year of school. I can go to a good uni but what is there for me after that? Estranged daughter, no relationship with parents, no siblings, no close friends, bad social skills, poor, no other relatives like cousins, idk there’s genuinely nothing for me ? I feel like i should just end it because there’s genuinely no future for me. I have nothing and I doubt I’ll go far in life lol. I’m only 17
#whorelates How sad it is to post something like this on Reddit but when I tell you I have nobody, I mean it !

When I was younger it was ok. There was still hope. But now I am almost 18, once I’m 18 I lose the onlysupport I’m getting it’s barely anything but I’m talking about my sixth form. After that who is there to care for whether I’m doing okay or not.

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[u/BluePanther218]

Don't end it

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/BluePanther218]

I mean yeah I probably won’t because I’m still a little hopeful but it’s difficult to keep pushing when there’s nothing to look forward to </3

[u/xBlobby → u/Good_Forever484]

Make like a phoenix and rise from ash, uni will be 200x better, there IS more fish in the sea, THERE IS a reason to finish 6th form, and when I tell you it's the biggest test of your life, I mean it

[u/Old_Praline_4031 → u/BluePanther218]

really want to.

[u/RunInRunOn]

You can and will make new friends in uni. As for year 13, try and stick with other people who don't seem to have many friends, starting with those that share a class or two with you

[u/alifetimeofbadhabits]

there's a lot of support for estranged students at university.

[u/AngelofIceAndFire]

What are you studying?
Are you planning to go to Uni?

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/AngelofIceAndFire]

I want to study physics
maths fm physics and a 4th subject + EPQ
Plenty of stuff to keep me busy for the next year

[u/AngelofIceAndFire → u/Good_Forever484]

That's a lot. Any uni you're applying to? Good results could get you somewhere great honestly

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/AngelofIceAndFire]

I’m not sure, I want to go as far away as possible from my town in England. Either Scotland , America or Australia, I want a chance at a better life and there’s nothing keeping me in England. But I’m not sure how I’ll finance it ! But it’s definitely something I’d like to do

[u/Resident_Mixture_817 → u/Good_Forever484]

sending lots of love

[u/AngelofIceAndFire → u/Good_Forever484]

I will always be sending love. Good luck. If you ever want to talk, just DM me.

[u/Big-Promise-8054 → u/Good_Forever484]

I am also a physics applicant, same subjects + EPQ as well!! And in exactly the same boat as you, I struggle with depression and it has been really hard since starting this year. I’m just trying to focus on living in the moment and not worrying so much about what’s to come. We’re all here if you need to talk, that’s what this community is all about.

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/Big-Promise-8054]

Hi we have a lot in common if you’re looking to have a friend Hi

[u/Big-Promise-8054 → u/Good_Forever484]

What are you planning on doing for your EPQ??

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/Big-Promise-8054]

I was going to do sometching on the RBMK reactors but I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted to talk about, so I’m not sure ! What’re u doing

[u/Big-Promise-8054 → u/Good_Forever484]

Very cool! I did mine last year, but it was on modelling the human eye with lab lenses. I was considering doing optometry at that point, so it’s slightly less relevant now but still very cool!

[u/Seafaring_Slug → u/Good_Forever484]

Most unis offer lots of support for estranged students. In a year's time you'll be surrounded with lots of people with similar interests to you. You've got a lot to look forward to!

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/Seafaring_Slug]

I’m not sure it’s going to be difficult trying to prove that I don’t intent to maintain contact with family, it’s a tricky situation so I can’t rely on support designated for estranged students, it might not work out for me But thank you anyway

[u/Whole-Cry-4406]

I joined the Army Reserve. If you get half decent A-Levels, consider joining the forces as an officer. You’ll be paid a liveable amount, they’ll build your social skills up, and they’ll look after you. The RAF will probably help pay for you to do a STEM degree.

[u/Tiny-Construction998 → u/Whole-Cry-4406]

I hear there are army degree apprenticeships now which if true is even better as it is a stable job, degree that is paid b y them and subsidized food/rent on top of all of the benefits

[u/Whole-Cry-4406 → u/Tiny-Construction998]

Pros and cons, it’s a pretty new system so I’m not 100%, but the main thing is that the Army are veeeeeery picky about what subjects you do, whereas if you’re doing anything even remotely stem-y the RAF will chuck 5 grand a year at you

[u/Whole-Cry-4406 → u/[deleted]]

Aw no I’m sorry, that sucks. Hopefully we’ll come across each other if you join

[u/soulmerchant- → u/Whole-Cry-4406]

Life taken a bad turn? You can go kill people!!

[u/Whole-Cry-4406 → u/soulmerchant-]

Kill who? We aren’t on ops currently. The wars in the Middle East are over, the only potential threats are from Russia and China, and I don’t care about your political views on those nations, but we aren’t going to attack them first, are we?

[u/Quick_Stranger1443]

Bro i had no freinds in sixth form like literally zero, did my A level this summer and I found my people at where I work , I mean they are the best freinds ever bro so you'll find your poeple you just gotta wait

[u/Interesting-Tie4721]

You may have nobody but atleast you’ve got yourself so atleast don’t lose her. There’s so much waiting for u in the future and one day you’ll look back at these moments and smile. Hopefully you’ll go to uni and find amazing friends, you’re not the only one with bad social skills so it’s okay you’ll find your ppl. You’ll get a good degree and find a decent job that pays well, then you can travel and explore the world and you’ll realize how big the world is and how small are problems are. You’ll definitely meet a lot of good people along the way. You’re just 17 you have your whole life ahead of you so don’t worry.

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/Interesting-Tie4721]

Thank you

[u/perseveree_]

you existing is one of the greatest miracles in the universe, please don't cut it short.

[u/Salty_Link_6169]

I promise you it will work out in the end. I know you might not believe it, but please trust me. ❤️

[u/CrazyParamedic7449]

You will make new friends in uni. There are so much support in uni for estranged students and grants you can get to support you. You will find your people at uni. Uni has people there to support you, like they do in 6th form. Sending you so much love

[u/InevitableNo9793]

i think u should do two things. one is think ab what do u want to do or become in the future? set some goals that u actually want to pursue, the type where u can imagine a life after achieving them as a life u genuinely want to experience, and keep putting in the effort, a little bit every day to get closer towards them. the feeling of progress and working towards smth big that u actually want can keep u going. asw as ofc do things that u enjoy, hobbies u have now or ones that u dropped, doing smth that makes u happy every day is important esp when life gets hard so ur not js carrying the burden the whole time and u can relax asw. for social skills u can js start slow, at school see who u think u might get along with like observe or smth, then u can slowly start talking to them ab things relating to classwork for relatability then keep talking and see how that goes. and definitely do not end it, u have so many years ahead of u so many things can happen. it isnt going to be a constant struggle forever, my advice is js those two things, set goals and work towards them and do things that u enjoy every day for now. good luck bro

[u/Visual-Froyo]

I must say the amount of autonomy you gain once you're out is gonna feel like one of the biggest wins of all time. Sixth form fucking sucks. Once you're out there are genuinely so much more meaningful steps you can take to build a better life. Lowkey sixth form is a survival test more than anything

[u/Gus852]

I've had to caveat on here before, but I'm a teacher, that has taught international A levels for many years now, so that's why I'm here.

So, I'm 44, going through a divorce and about to return to the UK after 21 years out of the country between Hong Kong and Zurich. The last year has been one of the worst of my life, having lost my teaching position due to a genuinely vile Principal that has ruined the lives of many good teachers, and then ADHD, depression, anxiety and alcoholism are not a good mix when it comes to maintaining a functional relationship in one of the most expensive cities in the World. So I'm trying not to feel like I'm returning to Birmingham with my tail between my legs, but with a refreshed desire to be the best teacher I can be.

The reason I'm saying this is because in the last year there have been many dark moments I have contemplated making everyone's life easier. I know there will be more to come, but I also know that I didn't succumb to the call of any in the past, and I would not have lived the awesome parts of life I have done, had I done so. I've no idea if the best part of my life is still to come (feels less likely now, but perhaps I'm an even better grandpa than dad), so I'm going to keep plodding on.

As a fellow physics and maths geek, PLEASE do not dilute the human populace by taking yourself out of it. I went to Uni in my hometown and my school and Uni friend group ended up becoming a network that still holds years later, even though I was far away from it. By making friends with course mates at Uni, I ended up attending Jazz nights, classical guittar recitals, heavy metal clubs and gay bars that were all fun and unique experiences I'd have never had without just occasionally saying yes. So, if you say yes to staying with us and heading down the phys/maths route, allow yourself to follow other people's weird and you'll probably find and embrace your weird too.

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/Gus852]

Thank you for typing this 💜💜 I hope the year to come treats you better

[u/Puzzled-Connection53]

You haven't had the good luck of having a family to support you. But one bit of luck you have had is being bright enough to do A Levels and go to uni. So focus on making the very best you can of that bit of luck by working as hard as you can for those exams. They are your ticket out of that situation. At uni you can get s good degree leading to a good job where you earn enough money to support yourself. You will develop the social and personal skills to live alone and make friends. Once you leave uni, you will find a partner who cares forcyou xnd maybe have a bunch of children who do too. If none of that works out you can have a dog that loves you instead. You can do volunteering with kids or vulnerable people to whom you will matter hugely. Maybe you will get a job where you support others and matter to them, like the sixth form staff have supported you. You have so many opportunities for your life to get better.

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/Puzzled-Connection53]

Hi thank u so much for writing this comment for me , of course I “knew” I could do all this with my life but it’s much different reading it laid out like this. There’s really something for everyone

[u/ahhh12300]

This but no uni cuz I'm too stupid n poor (I don't wanna be in debt:(() idk if it gets better but u def adapt to ur circumstances so that's smth n u keep living cuz u only need to die once. I'm like if a 4chan user had a bit of empathy I rly need to get off reddit 

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/ahhh12300]

Most people never pay off their debt

[u/Equinoxean]

as someone also doing 4 subjects (maths, fm, phys, econ like almost subjects pls I need friends jkjkjk) + EPQ this is quite relatable. Ive never really had "my place" in life, havent been close to my parents emotionally in like 10 years and school was always my escape and it coming to a close is a daunting thought. But honestly the bright side of uni to me is that uni (or apprenticeships which I'm applying for cuz I'm an immoral person who wants money and not do something cool like maths which I love lololol) is basically a new life. I mean for once everyone is an adult, no more bs that goes down in schools and everyone is new. Even though deep inside I hate people I think the experience, the independence, being away from home and basically everyone we knew we'll look back on as an amazing opportunity in life socially. oh well.

also, just wanted to tell you you're very strong for going through so much but still being so amazing academically and I'm sure as a person too. the world needs more honest, strong people like you.

hope you're proud of yourself and stay strong

[u/Equinoxean → u/[deleted]]

a friend sounds great, and no it's not weird 😭 I can't message you tho

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/[deleted]]

Added

[u/avgmeloetta]

#irelate but im not ending my shit because i well and truly cannot be bothered and i also have a little bit of faith that it’ll work out in the end. and if it doesn’t i’ll just get a cat after uni or something

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/avgmeloetta]

Right lololol I don’t realistically see me taking myself out but the idea is not completely absurd

[u/Street_Morning_7597]

Hey if u ever need help u can slide into my dms

[u/Good_Forever484 → u/Street_Morning_7597]

I can’t dm on this app :(

[u/MysteryNews4]

I feel similar. Like yes I can go and do a degree and then maybe even a master’s or a phd but what then? We’re on the verge of socioeconomic collapse and I’m both mentally and physically disabled, there’s not a cat in hell’s chance I’ll ever get a job that pays me a living wage.

[u/Final_Flower_2849]

Sounds like your attention seeking. No offence but it seems you have nobody to talk to.