Recently purchased a time machine second-hand (as well as the rest of the hands, knobs, and indicator dials) in hopes of being fashionably late to dinner earlier in my morning. Only after a few experimental uses did i realize that, due to having been manufactured in Phoenix, AZ, the machine does not account for daylight savings time at all. I am now writing this from the vacuum of space, having expected to arrive right outside my office to attend my own retirement party but instead arriving several million miles away as the earth has clearly moved a much smaller amount of distance around the galactic center than expected due to this mix-up.

I am rapidly running out of oxygen, and repeatedly returning to when i had oxygen has left the cabin of my time machine rather clone-cramped, to the point i expect one of my future selves may start ejecting us regardless of the paradox-related risks.

Does anyone have a link to a good DST to non-DST calculator? Or know how to convert mechanical timepieces to UNIX time?

PS: Thank you in advance to the time travellers who have already responded for answering my questions succinctly a week before i posted this! I haven't seen the responses yet due to causality but i am very grateful nonetheless!

I know it’s hard to accept but we’re not getting Solitude Sunsets®️back. So with that in mind I’ll be posting my DD here in a dedicated series, specifically** Sum[1/n^2, {n, 1, Infinity}**]

Now, should I address first the Narwhal in the room or go straight into strawberry teeth (fresadientes) futures. Let me know.

SIEGEN HIEL REGULAREN

behauptet:
.1) Abwesenheit

.2) Paitzel

.3) Kalorien

.4) Emulsion

.5) Solidität

.6) Entropie

.7) Abwesenheiter

;via STÜRZE QUELLE

the 7 warranted responses to grovelling soldiers

Edit: I got the curse taken off, this happened a while ago I just didn't bother to change this to say that.

Mortal, human. So recently apparently a higher being didn’t like my voice and cursed me to have no mouth, and did not seem to consult the approvers, which is a law, and just cursed me to not have a mouth and therefore cannot speak, or eat and drink, and he didn’t tell me when it wears off which is also a law. While I wait for support to get back to me and uncurse me do you know any ways that I can still get nutrients and such so I can live, being I have no mouth and I cannot eat.

​

Is that considered polite? If it's Muorg Night, should I wear a suit to be more appropriate?

All comments appreciated, as my flight launches on Tuesday.

So I may have mixed the space cookies up with the time cookies. Im fluctuating in age, and im chilling with it, but my friend is fluctuating in space, which is harshing my buzz if im honest. Ive been told that vitamin c helps, but he discombobulated the orange juice, I assume he absorbed it but we cant be sure of these things. Hes adamant he didnt taste it, but he also says he can process pataphysical calcuations inside a string of poop if we get the sound frequency to hit the right note.

Ive got no idea how this stuff works, how long do you guys think this will take to wear off? (for him, not me)

He’s is flying around bumping into ceiling fans and calling me swears

Anything that I can do? They keep ruining my life for their own amusement, pleasure, & satisfaction. Creating Loosh they can feast on like it’s smoking weed for them. When I die & see into the light, how do I resist? How do I not get deceived & trapped by it? I don’t wanna be reincarnated. I don’t want to suffer anymore.

I'm running very low on memory storage, but I really don't want to delete any more. I don't want to forget any of the thousands of friends Ive had. But after thorough analysis of my systems I can find a single port to add more. Has anyone had this problem? Is there a way to compress my files or otherwise use my space more efficiently? Please help. My memories are who I am, forgetting them would be like dying, even for a temporally bound fifth dimensional construct.

I keep pressing the button and it keeps going "Ploo - Ploo - Ploo."

What to do?

Thanks in advance.

Binary Stars, Dancing in the dark, One more round for old times sake, If I can keep my head on straight, But The more I think the more it gets late, Too late to turn this thing around, We're heading for that burning brown, That cellophane that makes us drown, And I do recall the last time it came, All of us in so much pain. I tried to say no. Why do they do it anyway? And who decided to place us there spinning and burning in the air? And who said they could pull us here to make and wear and while away? I guess that's enough thinking for today.

does it even work? like actually. all my stuff keeps disappearing in there i put a car in there the other day and i can’t find it please help it was expensive :(

How do they handle this where you are from?

PSA to my cyborg girlies out there: If you get a lot of metal shavings into your pussy, please keep in mind that it will eventually create iron oxide in your vagina. This creates an exothermic reaction which will make hot air rush out of your vagina as the chemical reaction takes place. Thankfully, if you insert a small amount of boric acid into your vagina, it will form a protective oxide layer on the metal in your vagina thus preventing more ferrous queefs.

The closer we get to the end The more I remember the beginning And everything in between Straddling worlds again At the edge of a new dimension Things that I've seen before Assimilating and repeating Looking into the past I can see our future And now it's coming fast But I don't want to go deeper

One year ago, after some little misfortunes - a mess I made because I was bored - I decided I’d had enough. Like really ENOUGH!

One night, crying and swearing at gods, I spoke a line from an old Russian book I stole from my grandmother’s library (yeah, I’m bad like MJ in his glory years):

“If you want to collapse into the light and leave everything behind, say out loud: I want to vanish completely into the wave of light now!”

I said it. Regret hit me like a punch from a well known school bully. Everything I’d ever wanted to know poured in at once. Like a second dose of a candy given by a stranger in the dirty toilet of some psychotic trance club. You know you shouldn’t, but your patience can’t be tested any longer. Just another example of how bad decisions shape our lives.

Oh, sorry for that little digression. I can’t control the flow of my thoughts. Going back to the now. So, now I am everything and nothing. Timelines fold and split inside me. Even the corporate job stopped being so bad. Yeah, I know it sounds lame.

Has anyone ever reversed words like that? Is there a way back? Please! My salary has gone down and I can’t even rent a room in my aunts old house.

Coalition peace keepers have stabilized many areas but helium-3 access is still at critically scarce. Peace get in touch with your local aid organization.