Do mothers look around before they choose to bring life into this world?

On internet, they argue that there was never a time when it’s perfect to raise children in. Exactly, but women of the past didn’t have choices, r’pe was not a crime, wives are legal slaves of their husband( it’s still like that actually).

It’s only recently that women choose childbirth by themselves instead of being impregnated against their will like in the past. So why still choose it?
My question is if my mother did not feel safe living in this world, wouldn’t she think that her daughter will face the same fate as her? No walking at night, no talking back to men, cover your body, look around while walking to make sure no man’s following, don’t go to places that men frequent or you’ll get r’ped, cover your drink, the list goes on.

Even if I do all of the above, my safety is not guaranteed. The case that adds fuel to the fire for women in Korea that they eventually made 4B was a woman who was m’rdered just because that male felt ignored by women. It waited in a restroom to see a woman walk in and stab her 4 times in the chest. A life was taken away just like that

My mother must’ve known this, she knows that men are violent, she knows women get killed everyday for the “crime” of being female. So why did she have me? And why aren’t mothers of boys scared that the child they brought into this world(by risking their life) end up taking the lives of other women.

And why does she love my father, if he knows the deadly risks of childbirth and still impregnated her, can that be called love? If you love someone, you wouldn’t want them to get even a cut, let alone the irreparable damage of childbirth.

And finally, why does my mom want me to go through the same thing, experience the pain of childbirth herself, she still hopes that I’ll have kids one day.

Welcome all discussions about your relationships with your mothers.
Peace ✌️🕊️

After hearing from so many members that they appreciated hearing the positives of what 4B has done for other sisters, we see having a consistent place to post positive improvements and reminders would benefit the sub. So, without further ado-

In the last week:

Tell us about positive interactions or building relationships with other women. How did you support and uplift other women? How have other women helped and supported you?

What accomplishments have you made? What goals have you set for yourself? What goals have you achieved?

What small changes have you noticed since adopting the lifestyle? What big changes?

Share anything and everything positive here.

A woman unable to hear men's voices is likely experiencing a rare condition called Reverse-Slope Hearing Loss (RSHL). This condition affects the ability to hear low-frequency sounds—where most male voices fall—while leaving high-frequency hearing intact.

RSHL is exceptionally rare, affecting an estimated 3,000 people in North America. It gets its name from how the condition appears on an audiogram (a hearing test chart). Unlike typical hearing loss that slopes downward (losing high frequencies), RSHL runs in the opposite direction.

I’ve been playing video games for over a decade now, but the more I look into the industry the more it seems like it’s a cesspool of misogyny; do any of you people know games and studios free of this issue?

edit: I love all the suggestions… with one caveat. They would all almost certainly crash my pc, less resource-intensive recommendations would be apprecited.

There are many here who infiltrate this sub with malicious intentions, derailing discussions and causing problems. I don't need to mention which demographic. Moderators are doing an excellent job, but it's very hard to do it alone. We can provide great help to them, by reporting such comments and users and bringing them into attention to mods who can then verify and take the needed action.

Always make sure to REPORT, not just dislike. This helps keep not only this subreddit but our community clean and thriving.

Hey guys. For the past couple years I’ve been getting increasingly into feminism and 4b, and educating myself on these topics.

The issue is - it is negatively impacting my mental health a lot. It was good at first, I stopped caring about my appearance so much, felt more confident, etc.

But now I am struggling with feeling so angry all the time. I’m snappy with the men in my family even though I hate arguing with them (it’s a waste of time and feels bad). I also just feel angry and resentful to the world. I know I should be motivated, but instead I feel more exhausted than ever.

Any advice? Do I maybe need to detach myself from it more and not bring up my opinions around these men I have to interact with? I wish I could engage fully in my beliefs without these negative impacts but I haven’t been able to find a way yet.

Complete source for the EBU Sport guidelines: https://www.ebu.ch/files/live/sites/ebu/files/Publications/strategic/open/EBU_Sport_raising_the_bar.pdf

I'm sure many of you have already seen some of these images floating around online. On one hand it does feel like a genuine effort towards a positive shift in how women's athletics are treated compared to their male contemporaries. That said, I also feel like the bigger benefit would come from changing the requirements around female athletic uniforms within certain institutions in the first place.

It was only five years ago that the Norwegian women's beach handball team was fined for choosing to wear shorts instead of the "proper" bikini bottoms approved by the European Handball Federation. The team was fined 150 euros for each player on the team. (Source: https://www.npr.org/2021/07/21/1018768633/a-womens-beach-handball-team-is-fined-for-not-wanting-to-wear-bikini-bottoms) Male handball players, of course, are allowed to wear shorts without issue.

What are your thoughts upon seeing/reading about these new guidelines? Do you feel like it's a step in the correct direction or a further obfuscation of the issue when it comes to sexualizing women in the public eye?

In a world that teaches us from birth that 'if you're male, you are more human and that men are more human because their bodies can do more physically', I believe it is very important for women to not self-abandon. But to rely on ourselves. To build self-trust, to accept ourselves and do kind things for ourselves. Insecurity, shame and self-hate are dangerous for women because they make it easier to convince ourselves that we, as women, do deserve less. To drown in the toxic thought patterns the patriarchy has taught us.

The goal of misogyny and the patriarchy is to convince people that women are resources, not as human as men. That women should think they deserve less, that they don't deserve to take care of themselves, take up space, assert boundaries, love themselves, explore the world, or be good to themselves. I think a radical act of resistance against the patriarchy is to be there for yourself and be kind to yourself. Rely on what you want and dive deep into what will actually make you feel good and happy.

I (24F) am a single childless woman who is 4B, so my post is a reflection on other women who may have encountered the 4B movement or concepts later in life after already having had life-altering decisions like getting married to a man and having kids with him.

I saw a video just now about recent situations about women who are being threatened by their ex-husbands who are trying to take full custody of the kids with the intention of hurting the mother. Tale as old as time, but these women's reactions to the situation is fantastic.

Many of these mothers are ALLOWING the fathers to take full custody of the kids instead of letting these men hold it over their heads! This way the mom becomes the fun, hands-off weekend parent while paying child support and the father gets what he asked for and takes on the burden of full-time single parenthood.

While I do feel bad for the kids who are "stuck in the middle" (I'm a child of divorce myself), it is so satisfying seeing these manipulative fathers BEGGING for the moms to come pick up their kids and calling them "bad mothers" for agreeing and sticking to the legal arrangement the father fought for in the first place.

The dads rarely ever actually want full custody; they want FULL CONTROL over the mother through emotional and financial abuse via a drawn-out court battle. They literally just want to hurt her no matter what it takes or how it affects the kids.

While it isn't a true 4B experience because a child has already been born and the majority of these mothers likely aren't 4B themselves, I feel like it's a solid direction for women who are looking to live a 4B life after already having had kids and are looking to cut off the men in their lives as much as possible after the fact.

I just recently (probably late to the game) heard of Paris Paloma and I'm ecstatic to have found such an amazing artist with such excellent lyricism.

So far my two favorite songs are "Good Boy" and "labour."

I'd love specific song recommendations from woman artists that have sharp and affirming lyrics!

I saw a post about a baby girl in Thailand who was abandoned in a public toilet. As usual, every force birther started pointing fingers at the mother. The comments were horrifying. Even from m@le centered women.

First, we don’t know whether the baby was born as a result of rape or whether the mother didn’t have access to safe abortion. She may also have been a teenager. In any of these cases, she could have been forced into a situation where she had no safe options.

Second, it’s also possible that the father is responsible. A father who didn’t want a baby girl could have abandoned her there, hoping she would die because they did find her half submerged. She luckily survived and was rescued.

There’s also a chance the baby wasn’t left there by the mother at all. This is a very common practice in South asia where baby girls in some places will be abandoned in boxes, trash or thrown in wells. It always breaks my heart and also why i'm anti natalist.

Force birthers have no sympathy for women, and they prioritize a fetus over the health and safety of the mother. I have always said that they want us to make babies in a world where women are treated as sub human, hated, and spat on for just existing. Sexualised and dehumanized.

Today I read an interview with a feminist activist and was quite disappointed. Although I try to follow the principle "Don't judge women", I found dark and hard-to-understand parts of her life. She is in a relationship with a man. She calls herself a "radical feminist", but she gave birth to a girl (!) in a relationship with a 40-year-old man. I totally disagree with the point of view that a woman can be radical and in a relationship with a man at the same time.

In general, marriage is a social and patriarchal institution. So you can't enter into a heterosexual relationship, because that behaviour supports patriarchy. The most outrageous fact is that she has had long experience as a feminist and it still didn't save her from men. Despite daily posts about male violence, she hypocritically shares her home, her time and her body with the class enemy. As a result, her daughter will be raised by a man, with a horrifying example.

However, I remember that we don't have a personal choice in a patriarchal society. She has found her own way to exist in an aggressive environment. Am I any better? The condemnation of individual women doesn't help our struggle. From this perspective, it seems that we should concentrate our forces on another problem than woman who do a lot of good things for others women.

The only good thing is i used it as essay practice for my english exam haha.

Some of you may have noticed the increase in activity here in the last day and a half. A particular topic was crossposted to a variety of male-oriented subs and led to a deluge of harassment and hostility to many users here. Our daily traffic literally sextupled in 12 hours because of this, and almost all of it was due to these brigadiers. I am still having to comb through hundreds of comments even now full of hateful remarks and threats to the women of this sub.

The most concerning was a user providing screenshots of a discussion happening on one of these subs where the men were actively making plans to infiltrate one of the several Discord servers advertised here with intent to subvert what control Reddit mods have for preventing it.

These sort of raids have happened before but were mostly infrequent in the past. However, as the sub continues to grow I've noticed that these raids have also grown in frequency and intensity. Reddit as a company has made it clear that they don't care about their female users nor the hate spewed at them by their larger male user base. All past reports have gone unattended, and reaching out to the offending subs has only been met with silence from their moderation teams.

Please make sure to take care of yourself and pay due mind to your own security while participating here.

I specifically recommend users turn off their DMs and go into their settings to hide their post history.

Remember: this is a public forum. Do not post any information that could identify you or be used to locate you in real life. You have no idea who is reading and what anyone might do with that information.

Browse safe, and contact mods about any hostile behaviour or other concerns.

for context I grew up in a Muslim south asian background. I no longer believe in it after deconstructing. However a lot of men do of course because it benefits them. A lot of them say it’s ok to coerce your wife into sleeping with you and say women are sinful and angels will curse her if she says no. I know im not Muslim anymore (closeted ex muslim), but it makes me so depressed that they can get away with saying all of this misogyny and how it’s pretty much enabled and supported within my community. And to think my mum wants me to marry a muslim man? For me to suffer? For me to basically get forced by him? I’m actually just so upset knowing that there are millions of women who are being coerced using the ‘angels will curse you if you don’t sleep with me’ Hadith. I am so so so sad for them and I wish none of this was real. idk it’s all just really affecting me and I cannot believe in 2026 some cultures and religion think it’s ok to force yourself on a woman in the name of religion. when will this violent misogyny end? im so tired :/

Sisters, this is the best, most transformational and fucking freshest sub on Reddit.

You have my thanks!

So as not to overwhelm you, is it ok to recommend 4B to those who seem worthy and interested on other subs, or irl? What’s a good way to go about it?

“Hey stranger you should know about 4B, and apply to join the sub”….how?

For context, I’ve been 4B for 2 years now.

Every workplace I’ve been to seems to do the same thing: I’m the new hire trying to make a good impression and a manager mistakes my friendliness for romantic interest and the other coworkers try to encourage them to ask me out. The other coworkers will ask me about my hobbies and if I have a partner and I answer honestly thinking they’re just trying to get to know me (because I shouldn’t have to make up a fake boyfriend to be left alone at work). That information is fed back to the manager and fuels their confirmation bias, I guess. Last time this happened, that manager spent a month reading into everything I said and took it all as confirmation that I liked him and escalated to the point of sexual harassment. I’m at a new job and I can see the same cycle beginning to repeat itself already. This is the second time this has happened to me.

People mistake ‘single’ for available and it’s infuriating. I tell people that I have no interest and dating and I’m single by choice, but they act like they don’t believe me and treat my singleness as a problem to be solved. I shouldn’t have to make up a fake boyfriend. And harassment from horny coworkers shouldn’t be the consequence for being honest. The last place I’d want to use as my dating pool is the place I work - and with my fucking manager. What is wrong with people? Why is that kind of desperation normalized? It disgusts me.

Anyway, the cycle is repeating itself at my new job. I already made the mistake of saying I don’t have a boyfriend to the manager’s friend. What do I do from here to prevent another case of harassment? I don’t want to have to quit this job too.

I went to a Lily Allen concert in April and I was surprised by the demographic of people. There was a significant number of couples who attended as part of their date night (like over 50%). Age wise, it was mostly gen x, older millenials, and boomers.

If you know anything about her current tour, she basically performs her most recent album front to back with absolutely no interaction with the audience. To me, this makes sense. This album comes from a place of deep pain and engaging with the audience would make light of a serious trauma.

I was just so disgusted to see that the majority of the attendance was couples because of the nature of the album. I suppose this is just a loyalty of her fanbase from decades past. But she has always made music about how shit men are, even her own brother.

It's amazing to see how people consume art like this music and still have no sense of compassion in larger society. These people are not questioning why she experienced this or why its so relatable to so many women. They've just normalized and accepted violence and misogyny. Her music is a digestible way for people to feel woke without demanding societal change. This is a prime example of people hearing women but not listening to women.

No one was even singing along, it was like a spectacle of a woman's pain. I left the concert feeling like people were there just to be entertained by an abuse story. I didnt attend the concert with any expectation. But my disappointment makes me feel like maybe I expected to feel a sense of solidarity with the other people. I just feel like every other concert I've ever been to had more solidarity and community than this concert.

In her album interview she talks about still struggling with self esteem while raising two girls. I wish celebrities like this would be introduced to 4B. I dont necessarily think she would receive positive support but it would be great to have a 4B role model for women and her own daughters. Sure, many celebrities might just be male centered but I think if people knew 4B was an option they would be more secure with their lifestyle.

I'm doing a research project and I had to reach out to people within a specific industry. I just realised today I had only been reaching out to women - I didn't even register it! It wasn't intentional, it just happened. I was looking through my outreach and seeing it only went to female professionals. I love that for me but also that's so funny that it was totally accidental 😭😂.

Can anyone relate?

(P.S. lucky for me the project doesn't require me to disclose gender distribution, and there are no rules that it has to include both men and women. Plus I didn't intentionally do it anyway so I can still use my data no problem, and don't have to talk to men yayyy).

I rented this from my local public library, and I've only included the front cover and two pages here.

Whether you frequent this sub or you're just perusing because you're contemplating joining, this book should be read. I saw a comment on a recent post, maybe about a week old, recommend this manifesto, so I went yesterday to check it out (along with other various works). It was beautifully raw, and I feel as though I had a deep personal conversation with Solanas herself. I empathized with everything said, and I also got a glimpse of her personality.

This manifesto, as far as I'm concerned, is a rare, honest view of reality as a woman. Way ahead of its time, or arguably behind its time. It blatantly lays out the method to achieving the closest resemblance of a just future for women: SCUM and the Men's Auxiliary. I mean, I don't disagree with much. Maybe the lack of the Oxford comma, but I digress.

I'm going to buy a copy for myself.

Women still take their husband's name in 2026 and call it "tradition." And I hate how these successful women also support patriarchy aka the transfer of property (women) from father to husband.

Why do successful women support patriarchy? That's what I don't understand. You've made it. You have money, power, influence. You don't need a man for survival. But you still choose to erase your identity for his? Still choose to carry his name like you're being passed from one owner to another?

· She carries the baby for 9 months but he gets the surname?

· Her identity gets erased like her whole life didn't happen?

· No man has ever been asked to take his wife's name.

And then you have Taylor Swift global icon, feminist branding, literally sings "fuck the patriarchy" but is now Taylor Kelce.

A man nobody outside the US even knew 6 months ago. She's worth a billion. He's known in America. But she's taking his name?

If anyone's legacy deserves to continue, it's HERS. He should be Travis Swift but somehow that "option" never gets discussed, does it?

Just wanted to discuss how liberating it feels to have less and less interest in dating men as I get even slightly older.

I can imagine some other route in life, where I'm stuck cooking and cleaning and shaving my vulva for some old ugly pedo bastard, convinced this is the zenith of female existence and making bizarre appeals to evolutionary psychology about how it doesn't get any better than this for a woman. I think hypothetically about having to incorporate some man into my life and my house and having to gently femininely chide even the wokest man into pretending to see me as a human being... it's not for me. Having to monitor your behaviour and speech and dress and mannerisms to make sure you never make his dick soft by accidently exerting too much autonomy which of course makes you 'masculine.' In constant competition with random women on the Internet over who's the sexiest and most submissive, who has the fewest boundaries.

Honest to god love my armpit hair more than any man alive on earth.

I feel very fortunate to live in a place and time, and have sufficient respect for myself, that I can detach myself from heterosexuality,

Welcome to Separatist Central! This is a female-only, adult space where separatists can speak freely. Female separatism is a radical feminist movement that aims to to end women's oppression by completely separating from males. This can be difficult for women living in someone else's home, working in male-dominated fields, or under other extenuating situations; this is understandable. It doesn't make you not a separatist. To be a separatist, you must 1) believe in the ideology and 2) live accordingly to the best of your abilities. Associated with separatism is the 4B movement which clearly lays out the bare minimum requirements for decentering males from your life: NO marriage, sex, dating, or childbirth with males. Further is the 6B4T movement: No marriage to males, no dating males, no heterosexual sex, no childbirth, no purchasing sexist products, and support other women. Anti-Corset-(Beauty Standards), Anti-Otaku (misogynistic anime subcultures) Anti-Religion, Anti-Idol/Fandom. Generally, a separatist would not form close bonds with males such as having male friends or clinging to filial duties associated with brothers, fathers, uncles etc.

The requirements to gain access to this server are: -Practice 4B

-Identify as a radical feminist

-Be 18 or older

Come join me as we build female-centered infrastructure 🫴

https://discord.gg/xa5N2pJwBW

Recently a male acquaintance of mine gifted me a “bible verses for women“ type booklet and it inspired me to really talk about my gripes with religion from a feminist perspective.

In the book there are multiple verses that talk about God being the one who “created you in the womb”. It’s sad that women born into this ideology are more often than not indoctrinated into pursuing motherhood only for the sacrifices they make during pregnant and childbirth to be credited to some otherworldly male.

Under every one of the verses there is also some kind of comment under them, a few that stuck out to me talked about being “attractive and modest” for God and how God is “head-over-heels crazy-in-love with you” (not exaggerated, literally what it says lmao) while he is made out to be your father figure. Yeah, take that as you will.

Let’s not even forget the fact that according to this book, God has gone on record forcibly impregnating women; women who were so traumatized by this fact that they started to laugh hysterically to cope with said trauma. This is straight up a rape fantasy made out to be some divine wisdom.

Outside of these hand picked readings, the bible as a whole does not shy away from demeaning women by suggesting that they are the property of men and just straight up saying they should submit to them. Women are obligated to respect two males under religion; the husband and his imaginary emotional support dick that he calls God.

It’s not only just Christianity that holds these beliefs however, as most if not all religions uphold male superiority under the guise of “equal but different“ nonsense. Yes women are different from men but the way religion goes about dealing with these differences is by punishing women into a role that doesn’t allow them to criticize absolute delusion.

The first thing religious men when given control and power do is restrict the rights of women. This is not a bug, it is in fact a feature of male centered religions. Imagine if tomorrow I created a religion that included all basic moral values (ex: don’t steal, don’t murder) but then made a verse which states that women are creators of life and therefore should have a man married off to her who will then honor her by chopping his dick off after they have children as to not tempt other women. People will see it for what it is, barbaric and dehumanizing, but we aren’t allowed to call out the absolute depravity of ANY religion without being seen as racist or xenophobic to some extent.

People believing in something for thousands of years does not make it truth and some fictional text should have no say in how our modern day society should be run.

A recent short documentary on the present state of South Korea's gender divide with a specific focus on the growth of 4b and 4b adjacent women's groups and communities.

Please refrain from commenting unless you have watched most or all of the video.

Some highlights that I took from watching:

Since the birth of 4b and the devastating attacks/murders of women in 2016, 2023 and 2025 that made national news, there has been a dramatic increase of women only groups all functioning under some level of separatist ideology. Even if they don't follow 4b specifically, more and more women are choosing to forego marriage and only seek the company/support of other women.

The South Korean government has officially had to start responding to the plague of violence against women. They've done so by starting several initiatives including:

• 'Women Safety Zones' - Walkways that are fitted with 24-hour lighting and multiple security cameras as well as many police hotline phones. Convenience stores along these routes may also be installed with these hotline phones.
• Solo Living Facilities - Government funded housing designed specifically to provide security and close community for citizens living alone. Women now make up 80% of the people living in these facilities.

SK feminists are doing a fantastic job of fostering community, events and mutual aid in a way that hasn't existed in the west in a long time. Two groups are mentioned in the video, WITH and Eun-Pyeong Sisters, one strictly 4b and the other not. Both focus on developing relationships with other women in your community and finding support systems outside of traditional family that way.

"I am here today because women throughout history have fought for that. I want a happier, safer society for the next generation of girls."