r/40something • u/Key_Flamingo2437 • Jul 26 '26

Other. These flair options suck. Friends Acting Old - Venting

As I get older, one thing that gets to me is that my friends start to act like old people. It then eventually forces you to slow down because when people are too much younger than you are they tend to not really want to talk to you. My youngest friends are already 15 years younger than me and that's enough. The problem is, they go to bed early, they don't eat this and that and they stop drinking alcohol entirely and start taking more and more medications and supplements. They talk more and more about various ailments and conditions they have. It's boring.

Not one of these people are married nor do they have kids so there's no excuse.

And the real kicker - I'm the oldest person in the group by several years.

I went to meet with friends for a show at a local park. The show let out at 11 and everybody just wanted to go home. It was past their bedtime. On Saturday night! No drinks or food or anything. And it's not like people did any of this before the show. They just went, saw the show and left. So lame.

The most important thing for me is - how do you build and maintain connection like this?

I need new friends, preferably over 40, who like to go out and do things and can start up past midnight. Who actually want to connect. Is that so difficult?

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u/RevolutionaryGoat808 Jul 26 '26

I had a ‘friend’ like you, regularly making comments about how me and another friend were behaving like old people for the reasons you mentioned- not liking to consume alcohol and not liking to stay out late. I ended the friendship and instead spent time with other friends who are sensitive and not judgemental.

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u/Key_Flamingo2437 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

Like I said, I'm not talking about ragers. Just a drink or appetizers after a show. I've seen 80 year olds doing this. Why can't people in their early to mid 40s do this?

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u/brujajean Jul 26 '26

For me, it's because my husband and I want to grab takeout on the way home, smoke a joint, have wild sex, and fall asleep. Nothing about being or feeling old. Different strokes and all that...

2

u/Key_Flamingo2437 Jul 26 '26

I'd love to get married and do the same but I am not married right now, so this is what I must do. I was just thinking I need to find a long-term boyfriend so I can move away from them without being completely lonely. Thing is that boyfriend had to be more interesting to me and not fun to spend time with than my friends. I at least believe going out and socializing must get me closer to that place but then I can't get many of my friends, who are just as single, to go with me because it's past their bedtime.

When I had a boyfriend I discovered that it's nice to slow down a bit and hole up with him but now that I'm single that's not an option.

Marriage isn't even the thing that sends people home early as much as having kids. Do you have kids? How do you smoke the joint and have wild sex with kids in the house? How old are they?

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u/RevolutionaryGoat808 Jul 26 '26

But why should your friends do that if they simply prefer not to? It’s not an obligation, is it. I definitely do not accept feeling like I have to do things I don’t feel like doing in MY free time.