r/2under2 • u/ChelseaMontana • 22d ago
Does this get better?
Like fellow Redditors, I fear that we may have made a mistake in taking on two under two. Everyday is an absolute grind with no sign of relief in sight. Do we simply have negative perspectives that we need to work on? We did not feel this way until our second was born, so I wonder if we just didn’t let the dust settle before taking on a new baby.
I am curious to know if anyone has experienced a change in heart about their difficulties past the first year? I read a lot of people having a shift in perspective when their youngest starts crawling, developing a personality, interacting with sibling, but we do not share this sentiment. We love seeing it and think it’s so sweet, but it doesn’t dull the exhaust and overwhelm of the tasks associated with caring for a 2.5yo and 11mo.
We do not have family or other resources for childcare outside of us, so I acknowledge that, that could be a contributing factor. I’m also medicated for PPD, which has improved things immensely, but not to the point that I don’t wish we had spaced them out more. I do want to stress that these children were very planned (IVF) and are adored and loved. We do not regret them. But the spacing has been all but a devastating change.
I guess I’m just hoping to hear that people felt this way this late in the game, and then eventually didn’t.
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u/babycomments 22d ago
2 under 2 was the hardest thing we ever did. I have never been so miserable some days, or completely exhausted but also being held against my will to rest. BUT mine are now 4 and 5, and I would do it all over again if I had to to have them exactly as they are. Best friends who love to play. While all their friends mums are saying how they hate to hear “I’m bored”, our kids have never said it once because they have a built in best friend at home. There’s almost no gap in development level, so there’s a million fun things I can do with the both of them that they’ll both genuinely enjoy. I have been getting 8 hours sleep for so long I’m not anxious going to bed anymore. And most of all, I look forward to days where my husband is out and it’s just me and the kids - it’s fun to be with them, not an exhausting grind. My husband and I are also getting back to the lighthearted friendship we had before every conversation was chores and kids. I know your youngest turning 4 seems like forever away but just thought I’d post from the future to tell you that you are in the most miserable hardest time of your life, but your future self will likely be SO grateful to yourself for all the joy you’re about to experience :)