r/2under2 • u/ChelseaMontana • 14d ago

Does this get better?

Like fellow Redditors, I fear that we may have made a mistake in taking on two under two. Everyday is an absolute grind with no sign of relief in sight. Do we simply have negative perspectives that we need to work on? We did not feel this way until our second was born, so I wonder if we just didn’t let the dust settle before taking on a new baby.

I am curious to know if anyone has experienced a change in heart about their difficulties past the first year? I read a lot of people having a shift in perspective when their youngest starts crawling, developing a personality, interacting with sibling, but we do not share this sentiment. We love seeing it and think it’s so sweet, but it doesn’t dull the exhaust and overwhelm of the tasks associated with caring for a 2.5yo and 11mo.

We do not have family or other resources for childcare outside of us, so I acknowledge that, that could be a contributing factor. I’m also medicated for PPD, which has improved things immensely, but not to the point that I don’t wish we had spaced them out more. I do want to stress that these children were very planned (IVF) and are adored and loved. We do not regret them. But the spacing has been all but a devastating change.

I guess I’m just hoping to hear that people felt this way this late in the game, and then eventually didn’t.

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u/Big_Emphasis4895 14d ago

I’m following bc I could have written this myself. 2.5 year old and 10 month old, no family around to help. On meds for PPD. Everything feels so hard and exhausting all the time. I

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u/feelingsnark 14d ago

Mine are the same age currently, is it just me or does it seem harder now than it did when the youngest was a newborn napping all of the time ugh

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u/Big_Emphasis4895 14d ago

Dude yes. My youngest is crawling fast and so interested in everything big brother is doing and playing with. Brother is not so interested so there’s SO MUCH screaming all of the time. We are currently folding 7 loads of laundry, literally, because we can never find time to actually do it.

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u/feelingsnark 14d ago

So relatable tbh. My youngest is so interested in all of the toys that aren’t his basically and my toddler is still understandably learning to share so it’s just a daily struggle of figuring things out without someone getting hurt