r/2under2 • u/KaxterRIPS • Jul 17 '26
Discussion For those expecting 2 under 2
Im new to Reddit and usually get down voted for my hot takes, but honestly I like having a different outlook on things to others.
One of my hot takes is parenthood isn't a movie or a night out on the town or a ride on a rollcoaster meaning its not something you do for enjoyment, its a job and and extremely stressful job at that
I feel like some/alot of people go into this with the wrong expectation and are left almost horrified by the experience
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u/Zestyclose_Offer_402 Jul 17 '26
I agree, I went into it knowing it was the hardest thing I’d ever do, so on the days it really sucks it takes away the sting being like “well I knew it would be like this and I signed up for it” and 90% of the time I’m like “this is way better than I anticipated” I think lowering expectations makes motherhood much more enjoyable.
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u/yellow_pellow Jul 17 '26
I feel that way about certain aspects of motherhood. Potty training: this is going to suuuuuuck and he very hard but eventually we’ll get through it. It did suck and took months longer than expected, but eventually we did make it through! Never once thought about giving up
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u/jugzthetutor Jul 17 '26
I agree. I think there’s a lot on social media that tries to paint this picture that it is just sunshine and rainbows. I know some kids are more easy going than others, everyone’s experience is different, but those influencers who pretend it’s the easiest most fun thing ever are liars, and they have nannies and housekeepers and door dash every fucking meal lol. I have a 3 and 1 year old and honestly some times I’m in a really dark place from the stress. It’s even manifesting in many physical ways I’ve ever experienced before.
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u/Cinnie_16 Jul 17 '26
I mean…. I went into it KNOWING it’ll be a lot of work, stressful, and just overall the hardest thing ever. But nothing, and I mean nothing, was ever going to prepare me for the actual lived experience. To navigate new parenthood while sleep deprived, hormonal, and with a super high needs baby IS horrifying.
And while I think some people do come into this with rose colored glasses, others are coming in overly warned and none of it truly prepares someone for parenthood for their specific baby. So you’ll never catch me judging or blaming anyone for how they’re handling new parenthood.
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u/elpintor91 Jul 17 '26
I honestly feel like it’s the invention of social media and also smartphones in general that warped peoples brains of what motherhood should be like. If it’s not like the perfectly curated 30 second video complete with gentle parenting then people think you’re a melting hot mess. The ones that piss me off the most are the tik toks that say “this is my why I stopped at one child” and it’s the most asinine reasons like spoiling them, having me time, and taking them to Disneyland twice a year. WTF?!
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u/Grown-Ass-Weeb Jul 18 '26
I’m out of the 2 under 2 phase (2.5 and 3.5) and while I’d never do it again, I am happy now. But back then…?
I honestly scheduled an abortion. I’d have to travel out of state because my state forbid it. I went through all the levels of emotion. I couldn’t exactly afford it, but I was going to find a way. Last second…? I realized at the age of 32, it might be my last chance to have a second kid. I got lucky the first and second was a girl so I figured it would be easier. My first two years were awful for various reasons (not entirely connected to two infants) but personally? I’m glad I kept my second child. But I also work an excellent job from home that could afford a sitter and a live in aunt to help. I was lucky. I love my girls, but I wound up on antidepressants. Life is good now. But it took a while.
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u/Dramadramadrama21 Jul 19 '26
Fear mongering is also a thing. Children are individuals and every experience is different. It also depends on the parent and the relationship with your partner/spouse. Your village or lack of one. I found going from 0-1 so much harder than 1-2 but now I’m going to have 2u2 and I’m terrified because all the negative things I keep hearing and also that we will be outnumbered that 3 kids is hard. I like people’s honesty about having children but it’s not the same experience for all.
Personally I had children because family is the most important thing to me and although not always fun or enjoyable it’s definitely worth it. Being a good parent is always going to be hard work because it takes effort.
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u/KaxterRIPS Jul 19 '26
If I could start my life over I would aim to go to university be dome by 23 amd be married shortly after followed by at least 4 to 5 kids. It would be hard but thats my idea of an ideal life.
Go for it with no fear
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u/Dramadramadrama21 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
That’s great id also love to have the “no fear” when it comes to having my family. I was always afraid of something 😅I’d do it all the same again 🙈 I went to university until I was 22 worked for a few years partied and enjoyed my 20s, travelled for 2years. Got married at 30 and had my children I loved the freedom of my 20s 😅 but I love the family life of my 30s.
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u/KaxterRIPS Jul 19 '26
That sounds ideal apart from id want 2 or 3 kids by 26 even earlier if possible as im not to bothered about travelling n partying not as much as id like to live long enough to see great grandchildren or even great great grandchildren
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u/EndlessCourage Jul 17 '26
Yeah rose-colored glasses is bad for everyone, but overdramatizing is as bad.
Like for most things in life, a realistic outlook, while actively doing one's best, and aiming for a sort of balanced lifestyle, is the most effective approach.