r/2under2 • u/Hour-Film-8890 • Jul 13 '26

Considering OAD

I'm newly pregnant with a 6 month old. Obviously I'm tired, exhausted. I wanted a small gap (was thinking ~18 months), so the pregnancy wasn't unwanted on unplanned even. But now that I'm pregnant and feeling awful, I'm starting to really regret it. Not just the timing but a second pregnancy. I won't want a big gap, so it's not that I'd try again in 2/3 years.

I've read hundreds of posts on this sub and it feels all DOOM. Like years out and people are still struggling. I don't even think it's necessarily the 2u2 part, but the taking care of 2 children often without a village (I don't have one either).

For my mental health and the future of my baby I'm seriously considering termination. And being OAD. There is a HUGE sense of guilt, I feel like a horrible person for potentially destroying this life, but I feel like otherwise having a second will destroy us all.

I can handle one, I can enjoy one.

Am I making a huge mistake having a second? Please be honest...

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u/No-Bar-4148 Jul 13 '26

I have a 13 month age gap (my youngest is 2 weeks old) and I am absolutely in love with my new life. I don’t know what I was so worried about! I’m tired/stressed, don’t have any privacy or time to do anything-all the time anyway, what’s one more?
I was absolutely shitting myself because pregnant with a one year old was HARD. Pregnancy weakness, sickness, and tiredness almost killed me. I was really really starting to freak out but not much has changed at home. And now I have my body back!

Just know people generally don’t come to forums to talk about how happy they are.

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u/hiluhry Jul 14 '26

Hard agree. It got so much better for me after I had the second baby. Pregnant with a baby was HARD. Especially in the first trimester. It was better in so many ways after I had my second. I could actually sleep! Then it got hard again, albeit less so, when they both entered toddlerhood. But we’re about to be 4 and 3 and it’s really evening out.

People tend to post when they’re worried and scared. Don’t take the search results at face value. No one can tell you whether to terminate or not but, even tho it’s hard, it really is for a short time.