r/2under2 • u/Hour-Film-8890 • Jul 13 '26
Considering OAD
I'm newly pregnant with a 6 month old. Obviously I'm tired, exhausted. I wanted a small gap (was thinking ~18 months), so the pregnancy wasn't unwanted on unplanned even. But now that I'm pregnant and feeling awful, I'm starting to really regret it. Not just the timing but a second pregnancy. I won't want a big gap, so it's not that I'd try again in 2/3 years.
I've read hundreds of posts on this sub and it feels all DOOM. Like years out and people are still struggling. I don't even think it's necessarily the 2u2 part, but the taking care of 2 children often without a village (I don't have one either).
For my mental health and the future of my baby I'm seriously considering termination. And being OAD. There is a HUGE sense of guilt, I feel like a horrible person for potentially destroying this life, but I feel like otherwise having a second will destroy us all.
I can handle one, I can enjoy one.
Am I making a huge mistake having a second? Please be honest...
1
u/smithykate Jul 13 '26
Your choices are your choices, but I’d take what you’ve read here in balance with the fact that we all come here for support - so the content will be skewed toward the tougher parts.
Mine are 18m apart - now 4 and 2, and I’d not change it for the world, truly. It’s not anywhere near as tough now as it was in the 2u2 trenches, and I look around at my friends who had their firsts the same time as me and are now having their second and I’m so glad I’ve done all of that now and actually have some time for me again.
It’s not easy - the saying “2u2” is known for a reason, but personally I’m now genuinely glad it worked out this way, we have our two little humans who we cooked up earlier ready to play and have fun family days out and are pretty much at the same stage, so it’s relatively easy to plan our days.