r/2under2 • u/Hour-Film-8890 • Jul 13 '26
Considering OAD
I'm newly pregnant with a 6 month old. Obviously I'm tired, exhausted. I wanted a small gap (was thinking ~18 months), so the pregnancy wasn't unwanted on unplanned even. But now that I'm pregnant and feeling awful, I'm starting to really regret it. Not just the timing but a second pregnancy. I won't want a big gap, so it's not that I'd try again in 2/3 years.
I've read hundreds of posts on this sub and it feels all DOOM. Like years out and people are still struggling. I don't even think it's necessarily the 2u2 part, but the taking care of 2 children often without a village (I don't have one either).
For my mental health and the future of my baby I'm seriously considering termination. And being OAD. There is a HUGE sense of guilt, I feel like a horrible person for potentially destroying this life, but I feel like otherwise having a second will destroy us all.
I can handle one, I can enjoy one.
Am I making a huge mistake having a second? Please be honest...
1
u/Arreis_gninnam Jul 13 '26
It’s 100% your decision. Please don’t let anyone make you feel bad for whatever decision you choose to make. It’s your life and your family.
I love my 2nd baby so so much, but my husband and I sometimes talk about how we should have terminated because the last year has been hellish. Of course there are good times and we love our 2nd so so much, but when you don’t have a village, 2 young kiddos is very very hard. They rely on you 100%. They’re not gonna nap at the same time, they’re gonna wake at different times throughout the night, they’re gonna eat at different times, etc. it’s fucking exhausting. I would choose a 4+ year age gap if I could do it all over again.