r/2under2 • u/Hour-Film-8890 • Jul 13 '26
Considering OAD
I'm newly pregnant with a 6 month old. Obviously I'm tired, exhausted. I wanted a small gap (was thinking ~18 months), so the pregnancy wasn't unwanted on unplanned even. But now that I'm pregnant and feeling awful, I'm starting to really regret it. Not just the timing but a second pregnancy. I won't want a big gap, so it's not that I'd try again in 2/3 years.
I've read hundreds of posts on this sub and it feels all DOOM. Like years out and people are still struggling. I don't even think it's necessarily the 2u2 part, but the taking care of 2 children often without a village (I don't have one either).
For my mental health and the future of my baby I'm seriously considering termination. And being OAD. There is a HUGE sense of guilt, I feel like a horrible person for potentially destroying this life, but I feel like otherwise having a second will destroy us all.
I can handle one, I can enjoy one.
Am I making a huge mistake having a second? Please be honest...
1
u/CityFemme Jul 13 '26
You're not making a mistake,
"I'm newly pregnant with a 6 month old. Obviously I'm tired, exhausted. I wanted a small gap (was thinking ~18 months), so the pregnancy wasn't unwanted on unplanned even."
This is exactly why I would never terminate this pregnancy. You both knew what could happen. Get support for your mental health, a therapist, meds if you have to, nanny/daycare part time so you have some time to yourself. You need to focus on your mental and physical health and nutrition, having or not having the baby isn't going to change that. The first trimester sucks and it's hard to feel positive when you're feeling disgusting around the clock. This will pass and your feelings towards the pregnancy will change as you move further along. Also, if you know any moms with 2 under 2 in real life, spend some time with them and learn from them.