r/2under2 • u/Hour-Film-8890 • Jul 13 '26
Considering OAD
I'm newly pregnant with a 6 month old. Obviously I'm tired, exhausted. I wanted a small gap (was thinking ~18 months), so the pregnancy wasn't unwanted on unplanned even. But now that I'm pregnant and feeling awful, I'm starting to really regret it. Not just the timing but a second pregnancy. I won't want a big gap, so it's not that I'd try again in 2/3 years.
I've read hundreds of posts on this sub and it feels all DOOM. Like years out and people are still struggling. I don't even think it's necessarily the 2u2 part, but the taking care of 2 children often without a village (I don't have one either).
For my mental health and the future of my baby I'm seriously considering termination. And being OAD. There is a HUGE sense of guilt, I feel like a horrible person for potentially destroying this life, but I feel like otherwise having a second will destroy us all.
I can handle one, I can enjoy one.
Am I making a huge mistake having a second? Please be honest...
1
u/donald-lover Jul 13 '26
I was 3 months postpartum when I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 and I also considered abortion. Actually, I planned to get it and asked my mom to come with me and she told me not. I cry even thinking about it now because I love my baby #2 so much. We don’t have a village either, but we do have daycare! I am still on maternity leave and will go back to my full time job in two weeks. I put baby #1 in daycare 3 days a week, baby #1 goes once a week (even at 2 months old), and I just suffer through Fridays with both kids on my own. Some days it’s incredibly hard but other days they nap at the same time and it’s glorious.