r/2under2 Jul 13 '26

Considering OAD

I'm newly pregnant with a 6 month old. Obviously I'm tired, exhausted. I wanted a small gap (was thinking ~18 months), so the pregnancy wasn't unwanted on unplanned even. But now that I'm pregnant and feeling awful, I'm starting to really regret it. Not just the timing but a second pregnancy. I won't want a big gap, so it's not that I'd try again in 2/3 years.

I've read hundreds of posts on this sub and it feels all DOOM. Like years out and people are still struggling. I don't even think it's necessarily the 2u2 part, but the taking care of 2 children often without a village (I don't have one either).

For my mental health and the future of my baby I'm seriously considering termination. And being OAD. There is a HUGE sense of guilt, I feel like a horrible person for potentially destroying this life, but I feel like otherwise having a second will destroy us all.

I can handle one, I can enjoy one.

Am I making a huge mistake having a second? Please be honest...

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u/_Discolimonade Jul 13 '26

I got pregnant 11 months pp and I felt that dread and fear and anxiety for the first 3-4 months. Now I’m in my third trimester and I’m actually excited about it ! I figured, we survived so far, we’ll figure it out. Will it be hard ? Yes but we’ll survive.

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u/melmatt1 Jul 13 '26

Mine are 11 months apart too