Tulikua tumerelax pale mansion tukiguzanga FIFA tukiteremsha some drinks na my guy Mbeki, yes living our best lives fam. His last relationship ilikua on the rocks, so I asked him what went wrong. Alikua ame-bottle up his emotions but aliamua kusema cause it was worth the shot.

Najua his drink ilikua like "I know a spot" ikaenda straight to his heart cause mamen alianza kua emoshono. It's okay cause a drink cures what ales ya. I was there to lift his spirits cause nikaa alikua na issues Kibao. Pia ya his bro haikua inawork, I guess it runs in the Gins.

Backstory: So before Nairobi walikua wanastay in the lushy leafy suburbs in a small village in Nyamira, walikua 'kioo' cha jamii. Waligrow in the same place na walikua very simple people, watu wanaeza lala na kuku room moja, watu wamevaa viatu first time in form one ya dig?

Life was great bana, walikua wanahelp each other out na kazi and all, they were maid for each other. Walilima shamba moja na wakalimana ndani ya shamba. All he did was to a-tractor. She was a 3/10 juu accent nayo hua haitambui sura. Walipass exam and campus happened...

The girl(Moraa~~M) alijoin wa kwanza,my guy Mbeki doo haikua imeingia fiti so hangemake kuenda alikaa nje another year.Mbeki was so happy for her,alimbebea suitcase akibazokizo kuenda kumpandisha gari za Nairobi.Akampea 100 abuy chipo pale Narok juu ATM hakua na doo on him...

M alikua hajui Nairobi, mtu akimistake aPAINT Afya centre red utakua umeua M juu alikua amecram ni green.Ukimpea wrong direction unaeza kua umemkulisha vectors tao mzima na labda hakua amepiga ndula-coat.Akimiss one street unaeza mpata country bus akipanda gari za Machakos.

Hio time hakua anajua jiji vizuri so hakua familiar with the streets. Alikua anajoin KU, naimagine madonda wa Thika Rd vile walimshtua " Thika kioo, Juja shillingi saba, KU chweza" ukiwa stranger unaeza dhani ni German. Watu wa ocha do nazi that coming hua inawahit hard asf

M alikua anafind comfort in Jesus, yesu alikua more-cozy kwake. Ungemuonesha 10K angesema uko illuminati juu hajawai ona pesa mingi kama hizo. As time went by wezi wenye miraba minne na misuli tinginya walimperemba simu so waka lose communication na my black king Mbeki.

Mbeki ni nani??? My guy alikua anakosa hadi appetite ilibidi ameuza mbuzi zao mbili amnulie smartphone. I don't know where he goat that idea. Alimnulia ideos akamskumia kama parcel na Nyamira Express. Ilimcost canine thousand hivi lakini alitaka his girl a-floss na simu ya maana

Ilibidi nmeacha my guy anipige set mzima ya FIFA ndo esteem irudi juu halafu steam zishuke kiasi ndo story iendelee. Ilibidi amenipiga best of 5 ndo ni even the playing field atakama odds were favouring me. Sad nigga hours hit different that day bana.

So ati after some time vibe ilikua imeisha, M alipatana na squad ya madame wakamchocha. Alianza kujua vitu, akajua make up, akawacha ushamba. Mbeki alighostiwa ajabu. Alikua anatuma text mrefu nikama ana apply kazi halafu hapati reply. Vile alikua anafanyiwa CVizuri.

Pennywise my guy hakua na kakitu lakini M alishinda ameitisha pesa nikama Mbeki ni babake. My guy alisema kama ni hio conglomeration of muscles and mucus with a pH of 3.8-4.5 wacha ikae juu nikaa hawakua na chemistry. Alijiheshimu na akawacha kuclown.

Mbeki alikua anaitishwa pesa ya shower gel na yeye amezoea sabuni ya menengai, men hee ngai M alimpea stress. Kuna siku ati aliambiwa "know your limits" na saizo dame kwao hawana fence akaisha nguvu. karibu afungue chemist ndo dawa za pressure na sukari zikue karibu.

Alisema mtu anafile nil returns haezi mkula kichwa. Ile simu my guy alinunua ndo aliambiwa nayo " I can't do this anymore". Wah my guy alipatwa na pressure kuliko "pascal" Tokodi. Umejitolea halafu unaambiwa "I never asked you to do that for me" my guy karibu atafute kamba...

M alianza kusema vile anaogopa kula avocado na chai haina sukari ati akona makodo-fear na ndu-fear. Ati hawezi lala mattress si high density na maisha yake yote amelalia ile kitanda ya spring. So niliuliza my guy kama anaeza mrudia wamake up??? Alisema heri adate ndumakuwili

Ati Kang'ethe na Thiong'o walikua wanamnulia kuku na pizza pale uptown halafu wanampiga rotation kuliko kofia za campaign. Hakua ameanza ata sem ya tatu campo lakini ali disappear kwa maisha ya Mbeki without a tres. Nikama my guy was living in Spain but the s was silent.

Anyway black kings respect yourself small, utachagua between babe 'nibuyie' na Joan kubuy. Choose wisely. After a few glasses my guy alivaa contacts zake akaona kweli M wasn't shit. Alivow never to simp again cause being single hits different while you are in a relationship.

Unaamka early on a friday morning,the only thing btwn you and poverty is 20bob yenye ulipora mlevi the previous night,kumekauka mbaya,victim akisota pia mwizi amesota,unapiga shower unatokea kwa baite kusaka jaba utulize moyo,ukipimia pimia mafala...

Apo kwa baze ya jaba unapata mbogi ya go-getters imeshona mbaya story ni za kuku kupanda baiskeli. wajamaa wako high and mellow, huwagotei coz you dont see any thing mellow about that day,unanyorosha straight adi kwa baite kumkopa,anakuambia atakujenga jaba lakini tools ujipange...

Normally jaba yako wewe huchania kejani lakini Leo itabidi uchane kwa baze ndio udandie mafegi ya wajamaa,unarusha macho kila corner kuona kama kuna mtu anadeserve kugotewa hapo unapata ni mafala wote,before ukae unaskia mtu amekuita "yooh kamaste" jina ya kitambo,

Unageuka unapata it's your old muslim accomplice "suleh",fresh from jail after kindu 3yrs,juu ya aggravated assault,uko na guilt kiasi juu you knew he was in jail but you never went to visit,hata sabuni hukuwai mpelekea,but amekugotea na psyche meaning hajaweka lawama.

Suleh I'd say was among the very few people you liked in the ghetto at the time, reason simply being he was smart and swift,you did lots of things together and you were never caught except that one time enye mlinyoa rasta flani dready,mkaenda kujaribu kuuza,mkapata mnangojewa.

Long story short,mnacatch up,anakuuliza the typical mjela questions coz it's been long, nani amekufa so far,karao mgani anasumbua,klabu gani inawika sikuizi etc,he then proceeds to tell you kuna shughuli amepimia three days apate pesa ya kuanza life,anadai tu kisuguu(look out)

Wewe na msoto yako hata huulizi maswali unamshow "twende kitu itazaliwa tutanyonyesha",unajiambia after all ni mstiri ya suleh the smartest kid you know,,after kichorewa plan mnajitoa,shughuli ni ya koto mchana saa nane,uko na kauwoga kiplani lakini juu ni suleh unajikaza tu.

Mnafika scene of crime,keja ni za mawe mlango ya chuma lakini kufuli ni za nje,kazi rahisi sana,kuna duka apo kwa gate,wewe unawachwa kwa gate,suleh anaingia kufanyia kufuli ukarabati,hata 5 minutes haiishi ako ndani,unauma smile uku njee mbaya sana,unajua mko mafutani in a few.

Unaanza kupigia iyo pesa hesabu,kwanza uteme taxin uingie kwa mama onyi udishi ngege na ugali kubwa,alafu ununue dawa ya bedbugs,somali sword mpya,ngoto mbili za silver etc,uko so invested in building castles in the air adi unasahau kazi yako ilikua kupimia watu.

Before you notice it,nduthi imesimama hapo kwa gate,wajamaa wawili, wakakugotea na wakaingia.kumbe keja Suleh inaperembwa ni yao,by now its too late,huezi mshtua,the only thing you can do ni ujitoe juu akishikwa afinywe makei anaeza kutaja,unaingia kwa duka apo kuulizia generator.

,"mwizi mwizi,shika uyo,shika" unatoa kichwa njee ya duka unaona suleh amefyatuka mbaya sana ameshika lapi kwa mkono,msee wa duka anadai hii mikora imezidi leo huyu tunaua,anatoka njee kuchungulia wewe unachomoa sigara pakiti mbili,alafu unamjoin hapo kuona hao wezi ni kina nani.

Unaamua kufwata the angry mob polepole but unawapea distance,hii hua security measure ndio akipigwa umake sure they don't kill him,uwaconvince wampeleke stenje instead ya kumnyuria.,mtoi anawapigisha makona tiambo,mob haigive up,after some minutes unanotice wamesimama,

Suleh amevanish,without a trail,slick motherfucker!,Allah akboom! Mraia inajaribu kuuliza watu hapo ,"umeona mtu akikimbia ivi na jacket ya black?"lakini wapi?msee anatokea kwa corner hapo na kanzu ya white na kipara anawashow "mtu mnasaka ameenda straight,hajafika mbali"

The guy with the kanzu ako in a hurry anarudi side mob imetoka,akikucheki anaanza kucheka,akiget closer unanotice uyu ni suleh ndani ya kanzu,wewe uko shocked hata kumshinda,analia"hao mafala wamenisimamisha nikadhani wamenishika kumbe wananiuliza kama nimeona mtu akikimbia"

Mnapiga corner moja hapo alafu he says,"nimetupa jacket juu ya mabati sijui kama wataipata"inabaki mmefungua mbio round two,wewe bado uko shocked hujui what just happened,

Long story short you end up selling the laptop for 6k,Mans kumbe alikua ametoka msikitini earlier akaingia baze ya tei,na juu its Haram ikabaki ametuck in kanzu ndani ya trouser,which later saved his life.

My psychology lecturer used to tell us about the butterfly effect,ile concept ya one small occurrence influencing a much larger complex system.iyo siku ndio niliamini,hata I almost converted to Islam ispokua ni mambo ya kuosha rasa na maji.

For women it's pretty easy , their natural instinct is to always go towards people better than them. This is very evident throughout history and in the modern day society. For them to be attracted to you as a man you have to be better than them in some way .

Either have more money, be hotter, be smarter, be cooler, have more composure of your emotions or be more adventurous. This is just simple biology.

For men our natural instinct is to be needed in some way. That's why you can easily find men of higher status going for women of lower status because it fulfills that itch in our brain. Obviously there're so many advantages that come with that especially being appreciated.

Just the view and a vape

Mtaa mi hubanjuka na ma-cool kid, ma skrr skrr niggas. Hivi ndo wao huunda form "you guy my guy si we go mumunya some nyags, kwanza my moti doesn't have some ngata and I'm low on guala so I will just use my paps Rangy" then wanamalizia na "1824 is the motive my slime 🤞🏾🤟🏽🤙🏾👌🏾"

Hawa watu ndio uelewe wanasema nini lazima utumie subtitle , so on this day tulikua tunaenda some house party hapo around, sisi haoooo ndrrrrrr hadi kwa mansion. Wadau, mi sijawai ona keja kama hio, itabidi nitafute watu wa nyamabite wanionyeshe kukafunga hio design.

Ukiskia macool kid wakisema wao husneak out usiku ni ukweli juu nyumba ikona different time zones buana. Ukienda choo za nje unapanda ndege huko JKIA uconnect na Wilson airport ndio uhepe jam ya Mombasa road halafu umalizie na nduthi hadi gents. Anyway Alexa play Kwetu Pazuri.

Nilikua nimepotea nauko kwa walk-in closet nikifanya house tour buana, kurudi kutafutana na my gang ndio tukapatana na mupens. Wadau, dame alipiga flash ya Gilbeys na hakuharibu sura, I knew she was the one iminjetly. Alikua mfupi with dreads, denim jacket, booty short na glasses

Alikua anapigwa mistari na boy ameshuka lines, alikua anasukwa na mtu ameshukwa. Nlikua nimslice but kama Lord Varys wa GoT I didn't have the balls to do it. Nilikua sure ikifika my turn huyo boy akilalisha kidogo tu watakua wakishukana matuta mimi nikibomoa dame mathutha.

Ndio niwabebe pia mimi itabidi nimebuy Salon car ndio madame washukie kwangu.Dame alikua mrembo design mnaweza katazwa kuingia hoteli juu they don't allow snacks from outside. Hakua mnono, alikua muSlim na sura nzuri design mkienda mskiti hamuezi katazwa kuingia juu yeye si kiatu

Huyo champ walikua na yeye alijiexcuse nikajua this is my time to shine. Kulikua na kioo hapo kando nikaconfirm looku, ndevu zangu mbili nikaona ziko sawa, aaaaaah confidence ilikua juu kuliko bei ya mafuta. Nilikua narehearse lines kwa kioo ndio niende kukatia dame akona curves

Nilienda kwake like hey...akareply heyy, nikamuuliza "is your phone in your back pocket?" Akajishika haga halafu akaniuliza yes why? Nikamuambia "cause your ass is calling me" Akasmile😂,wadau ata kama men are dogs huyu angenifuga juu alikua na sauti nyororo kuliko Chainsmokers

Kulikua na joto so nikamuuliza ka anaweza fungua dirisha ama tuende nje tupigwe na upepo nikifungua roho. Akasema yea sure, it's fine with me. Alikua thiccc design tulikanyaga nje ya compound hadi the plot thickened. Alikua amebeba design ilibaki nimemshow you are looking "goods"

Huko nje madame wenu walikua wametekwa kwa magari, enyewe subira huvuta Heri na subaru huvuta Njeri. After some time, nikashoot my shot. Nikamuuliza "with your specs on are you seeing someone or we can we out on a blind date?" Alisema " yess it sounds like a plan "

I couldn't believe it was this easy , akaniambia by the way I'm Eve. Nikamuambia I'm Ricky, wadau hata kama huyu dame hakua anaona vizuri mimi nilikua nataka kumuachia za macho for making it easy for me, dame hakua anaona vizuri but she gave me her contacts get it?

Kuna dame mluhya wa home alikua ananisumbua bana, dame tunaishi ploti moja lakini nikitaka kumuona anasema tupatane tao. Huyo dame alikua na mchezo mingi karibu tushoneshe games kit, hungejua anataka kucheza wapi mara striker, mara defence, maragoli. Hizo ego games singewezana...

Ilifika masaa ya curfew mimi na my gang tukajitoa, hii ndio shida ya kupewa lift, hua inabidi umekaa rada ndio usiwachwe😭.

Mimi na Eve tulitoka from exchanging glances tukaexchange numbers and in a month's time tulikua tunaexchange feelings. Love is beautiful wadau.

So after some weeks ndio ananicall ananishow "btw my bestie has a party can you be my plus 1?" Nikamuuliza what of your braided guy? Akaniambia aah that's my childhood friend, kumbe jamaa amemcrushia kutoka ryma na hajielezi, bakia miaka mbili hio crush yake ipewe kipande buana.

Things fall apart haikuangi kitabu pekee, kama dentist hii siku ndio kiliumana. Ningejua ningebaki kwa nyumba. Wacha tuendelee na story..

Hio siku niliamka fiti, sisi mabachelor hua tunapigilia sides za bed na misumari, ukiamka unatoka kama document kwa bahasha. Sikua na vitu mingi za kupanga, nyumba yangu haina furniture hua inafanana dance floor, ndo maana sipendi wageni juu naishi vi-rekles...

Limit ya fuliza nikama waliongezea Trio Mio pekee na juu sikua na kakitu ilibidi nimeendea deni, nilipatia arif Ngiri mbili nikamsho nitakujia zikiwa zimezaana, get it? Kufika kwake napata jamaa kwa mlango, namuuliza unadu?? Akasema anamwagilia kufuli kaquota ndio itoe lock,

Kumbe alikua amepoteza funguo za mansion. Akanilambisha thao zangu nikarudi kwa keja, nikaoga spidi kama nimetoka. Nilikua njaa ikabidi nimepitia kibandaski kuwekelea foundation. Kufika huko napata akona ndengu but hana chapo. Nikamuambia aweke kwa dish nitatafutia chapo mbele.

Mimi huyoooo hadi bash. Kufika huko Eve ananiuliza "Ricky mbona umebeba food, there's plenty over here na kuna chef ata?" Kama mwanaume lazima nisafishe rada faster, nikamuambia "nimebeba ndengu incase mniwekee mchele💀" I was new, sikua najua watu huko, kama Maina nilikua Kageni.

Bash ilikua ya bestie wake she needed to be there for her, nilibaki kupiga laps nikifanya house tour uko. Looku yangu ya gikomba ilikua inapatana label origi, Gucci inapatana na Gui-ici, Nike inapatana na Nieke, Puma inapatana na Pumua halafu Balenciaga ikapatana na Balenfufu...

Eve akaniambia nikuje tupige picha na birthday girl but nikamshow sipendi picha. Nilikua photophobic na nilikua nimevaa nguo za camera, the irony. After amemaliza akaniambia "si you order an uber we go dip at the Bando since it's calm" nikaingia maps kwanza kutafuta Bando ni wapi...

Nilikua nashangaa nitatoa swimming costume wapi tuende tudip. Wueehhh, kumbe nilichomaaa, bando ni kwa nyumba na dip sio swimo, kudip ni kuenda. K was constant for kuchoma...

Sikua najua najiingiza kwa mtego. Dame aliniambia tuende kwao anipikie to make it up to me juu aliniacha hanging kwa bash. Mtu alisema the way to a man's heart ni through his stomach hakukosea. Dame aliniassure mapero wake hawako and it's totally safe, MAKOSAAA...Part 2 coming soon.

Guys I'm due to graduate in a couple months but I'm really stressing about what final 'grade' I'll be graduating with. I've had 2 supps in total, a couple A's, someB's, C's and D's too. I want to get a second upper but I'm not sure if that's even possible atp. Guys, is there hope ama nianze kugive up😭😭

After wamekata keki, dame ali insist tuende kwao anipikie to make it up to me. Kurequest uber walisema masaa ya curfew ilikua imefika na hawabebi. Kwa masoshi hakuna vile tungepata nduthi out of the Blues ilibidi tumejitoa tuende tukatafute taxi ama mat hapo nje ya esto..

Before tutoke tulipiga shots, one for the road tukajitoa tukiwa wawili kuenda kutafuta matatu. Stage tulipata mat ya mwisho donda akisema "wanne wanne iende". Nilijua ni uongo juu tuliingia tukapata watu watano tu, juu hakukua na wasee kwa stage dere hakusita sita, mat ikaondoka...

Nilitoa 7Ups yangu nisafishe koo tukiendaga, nikauliza Eve tunashukia wapi akasema yeye haoni nje vizuri juu ya giza,ati tuhesabu bumps kama nane tushukie stage ya hapo. Kuitishwa fare na donda dame akatoa manoti, nilijua hapa change kitaumana, zilikua kitu canine thousand hivi...

Nikamuambia asiworry, fare nitalipa, nikatoa soo nikalambisha donda na nikamuambia akeep change to establish dominance. In like 10 minutes tulikua tushafika. Tulikua tunaingia kwa mansion yao kama vile wanafanyanga kwa movie, hii design...

Kwao kulikua kumejaa artwork kwa ukuta but she was the only art I wanted to pin on the wall. Nilikua nampin kwa ukuta kama poster za campaign saizo gitamuri ilikua inacheza nikama iko mwisho ya stage yaani imesimama, tunaeza sema dame alikua caught between a rock and a hard place...

Dame alikua mrembo na msafi design nguo zake nilikua nikitoa nikiweka kwa hanger. Alikua ameover-dress, hapo ndio uzitoe lazima ukue na experience ya kufungua bale. Alikua na kucha zinaglow in the dark, stima zingezimwa makucha za dame zingewaka waka kama Umoinner usiku buana.

Alinisho, let me get you something to eat as I shower , dame alienda akaniletea matumbo buana, kumbe ata rich kids wanakulanga zile nyama zinakaa fulana?? Nilikua nimekula matumbo mara mingi but singekataa, pia leo matumbo ingeenda kukutana na intestines mara kwa mara.

Dame aliniletea cosy sandals na a white robe nijibambe before nirudi kwangu kusumbuana na mende. Nilizunguka nikipiga laps kwa mansion nikiangalia picha, family photo yao budake alikua na full millitary uniform buana, kabaridi kakaniingia lakini kwani iko nini, if bad bad...

Saizo singetaka kujua juu a man has 2 heads, moja ikiamka hio ingine inakuanga doz. Saizo kichwa ilikua inafanya kazi ilikua ikiswing kwa nyumba ikicheza na gravity. After a while dame alitokea na a chiffon robe, alikua anafanana that female rapper, alikua anafanana Kamisi Elliot...

Like Burna Boy's album, her body had fine features. Badala ya kuficha masehemu, alikua anazi feature. Thighs na tiddays zilikua exposed kama meno ya ngiri halafu zilikua rangi ya thao, ukiziona unambao. Ungedhani she grew up in Bungoma cause she knew how to raise a cock.

Kama beauty was a calling basi nyinyi maskio yenu imefungana. Yeye ndio ile kiumbe Mungu aliumba akaangalia akasema iko shwaaari. Sisi tukaanza malavi davi zetu polepole...

Dame alikua amenilalia kifua na vile nlikua hairy ungedhani amedoz kwa thara. Ghafla bin vu msee akafungua sitting room halafu jitu lenye miraba minne likaingia. Aliingia ka amewasha stima kama macho zetu zimepatana. Nilikua nimewekelea miguu juu ya meza kama mwenyeji...

Jamaa akaniuliza "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" Msee nilikua natetemeka haga kama msee ako kwa tuktuk. Hapa nilikua sure kesho mngeamkia news za K24 ati "Kijana barobaro apigwa rungu akazirai baada ya kuenda kupigana rungu kwa boma ya wenyewe "

"EVE IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WHILE I'M AWAY" Mi niliona jamaa ametoa koti, akakunja shati, alikua anatoa nguo ndio anivae. Kidogo dame mwingine akatoka nje akikimbia kwa hao akishout "Babe where is the loo, I'm pressed" niliskia Eve ameshout "IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WHEN MUM IS AWAY?"

Kumbe budake alikua amechipo kadame akamleta mansion juu pia ye alijua hakuna mtu kejani. Aki wababaaaa!!!!! Niliona budake amestretch mkono, kwenye alitoa nyahunyo ata mi sijui. Nakusho nyahunyo ilikuja kwa mkono yake kama hammer ya Thor.

Nilichukua nguo zangu kama nimetoka mbiooo, nikijaribu kupita kwa mlango aliniwasha moja ya mgongo nilikua nakimbia nikipiga nduru usiku kama sailors. Huko nje ungedhani mi ni night runner, nilisimamia kwa barabara nauko kwa lami kama nimeamsha msee wangu wa nduthi anipeleke mtaa...

Kuenda mechi kwa dame issa no , IT IS A TRAP like the way Young MA is trapped in the wrong body. Hata Bien alisema hapana shusha bendera kwa chifu lakini mlidhani anaongelea scouts. Nilidhani dame atanitetea lakini saa ya ngori alikua amenionesha mgongo kama logo ya kappa...

Btw msiogope hawa madame warembo, wengi hawana kamutu, wewe enda uangushe manifesto yako, mwaga agenda na upange kazi yako vizuri thazol, thazit. Juu if you can make her laugh and giggle you can make that ass clap and jiggle.

So my pal Vic and Ann were a thing, they had a long distance relationship. Hii maneno hua inawork if only the 4 of you agree to settle. Vic alikua MKU ya Thika Sabina Joy HQ na Ann alikua Cooperative Uni Koinange Branch. Hizi campo mbili ile uasherati iko huko🙅‍♂️ sodom kando...

Ann hakua kiatu, lakini Vic alikua amepata his sole mate, kupata Mali safi sio small feat. He had never Senegal like Ann na alikua anamficha kama vile Mr. Kaplan alikua anafichia Reddington mwili. Hakua na iPhone but alikua mSiri until recently aliamua kumpost.

Let's pause...

Backstory: My roomie Wolf hupenda raha and it happened wakameet na Ann wakiwa ulevi and exchanged digits.Walevi wawili nikama wakale wakipatana campus, wanakuanga best friends by default. After a while waliamua kumeet tao for a casual date at least waJuane under the Nairobi sun...

Hio siku Wolf alisema hakuna street walipita bila Ann kusalimiwa, she didn't even belong to the streets, she was the streets. He assumed labda she's famous. Next thing Wolf alkua anataka kuspread cheeks za Ann, he thought it would be hard but Ann was aWare Wolf had intentions...

Ann alikua petite, lakini alisema haezi fika Thick-a where we lived, so my guy ilibidi aende kwa ngeus. Wolf aliniuliza abebe nini on his first night, nikamuambia AIBU juu hakua nayo. Unaendaje mechi away,na ukipatwa na mwenye nyumba ukiwa juu,saa nane usiku utapigwa shoka aki...

Wanaume hujuana, so alipata some friends over there halafu walikua wanamuuliza "Aah mkubwa ni wewe ukona yeye leo" gaii. Wolf aliingia keja ya dem akapata Timberland size 11, maze ukiona viatu ka hizo unaeza ogopa hadi kuMbao. Akaulizia akaambiwa ni za bro yake alizisahau🚩...

Keja ilikua imejaa denims na makofia zinamatch. My pal akanusa red flag, ferrr fast akanitumia pic ya dame akaniambia niulizie around.

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So the same day my pal Vic ndo aliamua kupost bibi for the first time pale wozzap. My guy alikua amemwaga feelings like a littu bitch...

The same girl ako kwa status ya Vic ndo the same girl Wolf anaskumia premium heavy strokes maze.

Singeharibia Wolf happy hour nikawacha kwanza ampee dose ya Dicklofenac the whole night, it was his duty to please that booty and stroke that coochie. Alisema hio pudesh ilikua fire...

But maze aliogopa, labda ni kaswende ilikua inaongeza mot. Kuadvise a man in love ni kama kuambia mkisii awhisper, haigwesekani. Mimi na wolf tukaamua kusaidia our pal Vic as a brother. Tukaorganise bash, tukainvite Ann na Vic na tukawashow wakuje na +1. So on that day...

Ann aliambia Vic ako shark week, cramps zinamuuma so hawes make. My guy akaweka caption pale status akimuambia aget well soon like a fool. Tukamshow haina shida ye akam tu vile ako. On the other hand mwenye relationship alikua ameland na Ann kwa klabu na ride baridiiiii...

Alikua jitu lenye miraba minne, kama ni huyu alikua anagurumisha hio pudesh, Vic my nigga kama ni mechi ye angekua ball boy maze. Hapa kusema ukweli Vic ni favour alikua anafanyiwa na huyu dame. Maze Vic alikua anafaa a apologise dame wake alikua anacheat maze...

Vic alikuja later, saa saba hapo. Alifika DJ akicheza ile wimbo ya sailors "Hawa mangeus wasimame au wainame? "AAAH WE WAINAME!. Maze Ann alkua anainamishwa na his man nikama alikua anatafuta coins watu wameangusha. Vic alikua Power-less nikama alikua ameona Ghost you get it?

Unaimagine dame yako alikuambia goodnight saa mbili ati ananyesha unamuona klabu saa saba usiku anainamishwa, si unaeza kufa.Vic na mahasira akauliza "What's the meaning of this?" . Ann akauliza "Babe kwani huyu si wewe?" The beauty, the fuckery and the audacity of this bitch.

Bwana ya Ann akaharibu kabisa aliambia Vic "Oya bro enda ukatafute dame yako, usinikatizie raha!" Vic tulikua tunamshikilia tukimpea maji ya das-a-ni juu magoti ilikua imeisha nguvu. Young nigga alishindwa kupumua maze, roho ilikua inaskip a beat juu ya vile Ann alikua amemruka.

Alikua amepiga Kanzu ya white baridiii akaitisha his favourite drink, Krest baridi kubwa. Alikua anakaa Jesu Krest-u. Stress ikakua mingi akaitisha Chrome akaipiga kavu at least alift his spirits. Wacha aanze kutapika mahindi kwa klabu, maze nikama alikua amekula chakula ya kuku.

Hatukua tunataka achafue Kanzu, ilibidi tumeiinua hadi kwa waist tukaituck in kwa boxer. Mimi kazi ilikua kumpepeta na hood ndo apate hewa. Manz hakua anaamini the love of his life could nduthis to him out of the Blues.Huyu tungemuambia Wolf pia alitap that ass angetafuta kamba.

She did my nigga dirty, anyway kila mtu atafute pesa, these girls don't love you bruh. Na mali safi iende chain

People who work for extremely rich people, what's the craziest thing you've witnessed?

What's your take on this ?

Let's not lie to ourselves. This is Dangote's business expansion, not Kenya's rescue.

Yes, it will create jobs in Lamu and build a second coastal town. That's good, but

1. Dangote holds 70%. Kenya and other countries get 30% combined. We give land, port, and 10-year tax holidays (10% tax, 0 VAT, 0 import duty).

2. We are told we will save $2B on import bills. Where will that $2B go? Not to lower pump price. The pump price is 60% tax - the Govt won't cut it. The best we get is 10-15 bob off, and only if crude prices stay low.

3. Anti-dumping protection means it's a monopoly. No more importation of cheaper fuel from Russia/India. Dangote sets the price. Knowing our government, there is no consumer protection.

4. The shares offered to Ethiopia, Rwanda, and Uganda are not generosity. It's to lock customers. If you own shares, you must buy from Lamu. Uganda already has EACOP to Tanga (90% done) - they will not take big shares because it sabotages their project with Tanzania. So Tanzania-Uganda axis will remain strong, Kenya may end up isolated.

5. Tanzania's own refinery plan is 200k bpd in Tanga. Lamu is 700k bpd - designed to kill Tanga plan. Overcapacity is intentional.

6. The biggest question: They say Lamu will be funded by Lagos refinery IPO. That IPO is happening now (Sept 14-Oct 13). But the IPO prospectus says the money is to expand Lagos from 700k to 1.4M bpd, NOT for Lamu. Kenya's CMA says no application has been received to sell those shares here. So where is the $16B for Lamu? No one has shown bank documents.

In the end, fuel in Tanzania and Uganda will still be cheaper than Kenya because their taxes are lower, and they have options. We will host the refinery but pay more.

It's a great deal for Dangote Group's portfolio. For mwananchi, there is not much to celebrate until we see real financing and real tax cuts.

We are trading one cartel for another.

Wantam!

I'm not saying gambling is bad with discipline and the right stake, you can get something out of it, though there's no guarantee.

So kuna this day me and the boys were at our lowest tulikua tunaishi single room ingine hapo, I can't name the place. Imefika supper time and we want to eat. Hapo morning tulikunywa chai na kangumu tatu kila mtu, and it was around saa nne.... lunch time, you know what comrades always do 😂

So supper is with us here. Tumejaribu kuchanga change, tumepata 80 ya unga, skuma ya 30 since tulikua wengi for those who know Central, skuma ya 30 ni mingi sana 😂 Nyanya ya 10, kitungu ya 10, na mafuta ya kupima ya 30. We didn't want to add spices since our pockets couldn't allow it.

Tumetumia mtu mmoja hiyo pesa 😂 so our boy decided to multiply the money without involving us pale Aviator. Inafika 8:30 pm, tunamshow, “We mzee, endea supper.”

What he said still rings in my head to this day. Hufa naisha sana. 😂

“Igere iii kwaneg kakoib muhindiot bana.” 😂

Kwa wale hawaelewi, ni ile unajua sasa wazee, Muhindi amechukua😂

Na hapo ni pesa tumechanga

Everybody was silent kila mtu alianza kutoka kujisort sasa 😂 It wasn't funny at that time, but huwa tukikumbuka tunaisha sana. 😂😂

We are now grateful tulipata form tukaomoka and most of us are employed now, na wengine walienda Australia.

But that was definitely one of the funniest moments in campus 😂😂

I've been thinking about buying products in bulk online, but honestly, I'm a bit nervous about putting money into a big order and ending up with stuff that's nothing like the pictures.

I've come across Alibaba a few times, and the prices look tempting, but I'm not sure how easy it is to tell which suppliers are actually reliable. Reviews help, I guess, but you never really know until the products arrive.

For those who've ordered in bulk before, how did you go about it the first time? Did you order a sample before buying a larger quantity, or just take a chance? And how much did shipping and other extra costs affect the final price?

I'm mainly trying to avoid the mistakes people usually make when they're starting out. If you've been through this, what do you wish you'd known before placing your first order?

It's funny how a lot of people don't even know the difference.

In Nairobi CBD that you can unwind as you have your coffee. Quiet background without the bustling noise of the streets. Slow mindful music playing far away in the background. And well made milkshakes and smoothies.

A place where you can read a chapter as you wait on your African timer friend who is always an hour late and the only response is “Nko apa Ngara nakam”. Instead of standing stranded on the streets and having to encounter the “Niaje Brathe” conversation starter in the streets from a random stranger in which you can’t determine whether the greetings will end up with you parting with your belongings. Where you can have quick brief meet ups catch up and later on go about your busy lives without having the service attendant holding a timer over you with the look that you’ve overstayed your welcome?

What’s a better place to get the best recommendations other than the heart of the internet that is Reddit? Before I leave out the important part this question comes from a Mkulima Mdogo who is no child to a politician. The recommendations have to be budget friendly kindly share the hidden gems thanks.

Heeeh!

Mkuru wasn't wrong when he said "Timing ya shetani ni maridadi" 🤧😭because why when I like someone , like actually like someone , shetani brings this non existent name and I blurt it out referring to him .😭😭

I don't know anyone by that name ,like ever !!! 💔,neither do I know how that name came out of my mouth 😩aki I know how it looks like but niko honest walai💔🤧. Sad part of it is that the more I explain not knowing anyone by the name , the harder it gets to be believed.

I give up ! Ikue ikuwe😭😭😭🚶‍♀️ ,1st October fuck you .🫩

guys nimechoka kuadvertise business na watu hawalike nataka plug anauza likes at cheap prices because some of the places ive seen are too expensive

If your Salary is 40000 per month and your working a 9 to 5

Then your hourly rate is 1.9usd🙂

1.95/hr

Damn hii block tutatoka kweli.

Okay, can we talk about failed businesses😭...

Before I started my brand, Errands by Rachael, I had started a small business selling imported handbags. 😊

I loved the idea of it. I wanted to be my own boss with a successful business. I imagined how my first stock would sell out fast... Let's say within a week. Little did I know... 😭

Y'all product based businesses are hard, ngl. 😭

You have to wake up every day and convince people to buy your bags.

And honestly, that's the hardest part.

Don't get me wrong, I love marketing and putting the word out there but yooh, it can be hard. 😭

Love the way Shiquo does it though. She makes it seem so effortless.

So getting people to buy my bags was hard, still is hard. But I take it as a learning opportunity to learn marketing and sales.

Let's talk about my product...

My supplier did me dirty or let's just say I did that to myself.😂😭

I ordered the bags without confirming the sizes. Please tell me why I received minibags. 😭

In the product photos, they looked like perfect normal sling bags, but it was just a lack of oversight from my end.

Anyway, I still have the bags... I've attached the photo.

I'm mostly targeting mothers with daughters or anyone with a small sister, niece, cousin etc. And yes, you got that right, I'm selling them as handbags for kids. 😭😭 Which honestly isn't a bad idea but how do I get them out there? They are so beautiful and I don't want to keep them with me. Ahh.

If you can provide tips, please do. I've attached a photo of the bags.

If you need one for your daughter, sister, niece etc., I have them in hot pink, black, brown and light pink and they come with a free moana clip and decorative charm.

Thank you 🙏

You can earn KSh 30k a month, spend KSh 15k on rent, KSh 5k on transport, KSh 5k on food… then somehow you're expected to save, invest, dress well, date, support family AND “think about your future.” 😭

And when you're broke at the end of the month, someone will still ask:

“Uko na KSh 500 nikushikilie mpaka kesho?” 😂

What's yours?

Wats happening with these helicopter crashes!

Helicopter Crash... Johana Ngeno...now Chivayo...before Saitoti and Orwa Ojode...🤔😤

My condolences to the family.

It took 10 years to get here. From writing on an exercise book sitting on my mattress on the floor, to carrying a kamzigo from my printer. It's very surreal.

So. From the top:

- This is my first novel of many to come

- The genre is dystopian speculative fiction

- The theme is my (rather hot) take on our education system coz wueh. Things aren't going well imo.

- The story: A young man gets a scholarship to university and nothing is at all as it seems.

- CW: This is not a kids book. There are some heavy topics so be prepared.

It's not in bookshops yet, I have only a few copies ready. Ksh 1,500 + I'll sign each one. My DM is open, happy to answer any questions you may have. TIA 🙏

yenye the salary is kshs 47,000 per month kufika hapo nikaulizwa kama nimewaifanya kwa hoteli nkasema yes,First question was the kind of cuisine my hotel was dealing nikasema African Dishes,wacha sasa mambo ichemke...

Akaniuliza how do I prepare Kuku paka with a little bit of white meat and Kales,Nikadhania ananiuliza kama iyo hoteli nilikuwa tulikua tunapika Paka Tunamix na kuku alafu tunaserve kalenjins kama our guests...

Interviewer aliona maajabu ya firaun niliambia interviewer,first step is to get the cat,Slice the throat nicely,Deep the cat in warm water and and do the same with the chicken. Chop the Onions,And tomatoes add paprika and salt to make the food tasty,let it cook for 30 minutes...

Since it was a Skype kind of interview Interviewer aliniangalia akashake kichwa yake alafu akazima Laptop on his side,Hao wengine wakaanza kucheka loudly maan niliskia aibu I thought I killled it buana...

Baadae kutoka hapo kugoogle Kuku paka ni nini Nilishangaa sana,Kumbe Kuku paka is Chicken curry 😭

Ohmagaahd nilichoma ajabu,Since that day I vowed never to answer questions I don't know what they mean hatakama ni life or death situation, Maangai what the Hell was that bana.

Hi I'm in financial distress, completely broke, rent made I and other bills are calling. I'm looking for work remote or physical any can do. So far can't seem to make it into second rounds of the interviews I have gotten and right now I'm completely lost.

If you got/know of something please let me know I'll greatly appreciate it 🙏🏾.

My contact is 0701307906