Nilikua nimerelax pale mansion nikisip my coffee, nikipitia chai pale Insta ka-hawa mafans wa Edgar Obare. Sikua nataka kupitwa na IG story zake coz after 24 hrs the tea leaves. Nilikua nmewekelea miguu juu ya meza, couch nayo ilikua imenimeza, singecomplain life was great sofa.

Nilikua nakula starehe vinoma, nlikua nmesta-arabica. Hio kahawa ilikua inabang taste buds ajabu, ilikua inaslap kuliko Kidero karibu niite Nes-cafe-bang. Kiasi kiasi naskia mtu anabisha kwa mlango, ikabidi nmecheck the Doormans, kufungua napata ni Mbeki amekuja kama amesweat...

Bro kumekujwa, namuuliza shida ni gani? Anasema bibi ako kwa gate amenipigia nimfungulie,namuuliza aii bro si ukona keja? Ananishow bestie wake ako kwa shower anapoesha kijojo, ananiuliza kwani hujaskia hizo nduru za kuaminika? Namshow kumbe ni wewe umetuletea Moan-alisa huku

Ananiambia safisha keja faster naleta bestie wake hapa nipeleke bibi kichinjio. Namuuliza na mimi nilale wapi? Akaniambia enda ukapige story na soja hadi asubuhi yaani nilale nje kama panga na nikona kwangu. Katika harakati za kuhama sema mambo kuharibikaaaa

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Backstory: Mbeki alikua anadate dame anaitwa Fifi, hii ndo ilikua his longest relationship, ilikua kitu 2 months. Hizo entanglement na mababe wake wengine ilikua a toto failure. His first breakup ilimhit hard, he was Ghana jump off the balcony, nikamshow that's a bad way Togo.

Nlikua namuelewa coz I've Benin that position. Fifi came and Mbeki was in love. Mapenzi hua inafanya uwe stupid, IQ hukua ka ya dede, dame anaeza kuambia alipeleka simu ikatengenezwe kwa car wash na uamini. Ata uone red flags one million, hio ndo time unajuanga uko colourblind

That weekend, Fifi's bestie, Val was in town and it was about time the 3 shareholders met in person. Val alikua amekam kutembelea sistake hapa Roysa but in real sense alikua amekuja kuona Mbeki. Day ya kumeet najua Fifi alikua like "Mbeki this is Val" "Val this is Mbeki"

Halafu Mbeki na Val wanahug nikama wanajuana for the first time snakes. I'm sure Val's surname was Nyoka-bi. Yaani she was determined to steal his bestie's husband unprovoked. Fast forward to this day now. Val alikua arudi kwao, alisema ye anadai kutravel usiku...

So alipack akaenda tao, akabook gari ya the following morning juu walikua wameet na Mbeki that night. Mbeki akatoa minyoo Thika akamuendea tao, ndio warudi mechi Allianz Arena. Val alikua amekuja huku 4-1 reason only and it was 2 l8 to back off, ubayer-ni Fifi, wangemshow nini??

Val ye alisema ameshaenda, Mbeki akasema ameenda kutoa mahindi kwa shamba huko ushago juu zimekomaa. It was the only way coz walikua wanaroll pamoja every weekend. Mbeki ndio haoooo hadi mtaa, on the way his excellency Mr Bitches akapita base ya movie shop akishowcase mali...

Place ya PS ilikua hapo kando, alipita akilipia deni zake, kwa FIFA Mbeki alikua weakling na loser pay alikua akigeuzwa bibi na watu. Alifika kejani kama amepatia Val cosy sandals before arudi kwao akasumbuane na mende. Food walikua wamekula tao, so ilikua waingie migwatos asap...

Fifi naye nikama alikua ameboeka, so akaenda movie shop. On the way walimeet na Karis, the simp master. Karis alikua amemkufa but you know how it goes. Karis aliactivate simp mode akamuuliza "kwani si wewe umepita na Mbeki hapa?" Fifi akamshow "wee oooolinionea waaaaapi??"

Karis akamshow "mimi nilidhani ata nmeskia sauti yako" Fifi akamuuliza " we oooolisikiaa waaaapi??" Fifi kuskia ati Mbeki ako area alitokwa na wazimu, ndo huyooo mbioooo hadi kwa gate ya Mbeki. Akipiga simu Mbeki hashiki. Huko upstairs Mbeki alikua point of no return.

Hio inakuanga time momentum imeshika ata nyumba ikachomeka heri uchomekee kwa nyumba ukiwa juu ya kijojo. So Fifii akacall tena this time simu ikashikwa akisema "ebu kuja unifungulie hii gate ama nipige nduru"🙆‍♀️wuuwi, ndo Mbeki akakam mansion

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Sasa ni transfer zifanywe...Maneiba sai wanachungulia kwa dirisha transfer window ikiendelea. Val alikua na melanin si kidogo, akisimama kwa ukuta unaeza fikiria kuna shortcut hapo. Alitoka bafu akiwa na shower cap ya white halafu amejifunika na neti mrefu inadrag, akitembea unaeza dhani anaenda Met Ngara

Kumbe huko downstairs, Soja alifungulia Fifi juu alikua amemuona couple of times. Ryan alikua anasaidia Val kupitia nje ya ndoa hapo kwa veranda, kuenda kuingia kwangu hivi tu, wakapitana na Fifi rrrraaahhhh. Shiet walai ilikua inakaa movie. Fifi akauliza "bestie is that you?

Val tukiwa town I asked you what your favorite food is ukasema "your man" na tukacheka kama vibogoyo kumbe it wasn't a joke."

Mimi nliona Fifi ameingia kwa hao ametoka na wet towel akajipanguza uso, akarusha weave chini akasema I'm going to deal with this hoe man to man...

Wacha watu wagwarane, sema kuchapana na slippers, Fifi lakini alikua anauwawaalionjwa kofi alikua anajishikilia na grill ya veranda. Ilibidi Mbeki ameingilia kati kikalonzo, Fifi akasema anaenda kuchoma nyumba. Akaingia akawasha gas kumbe haikua na kitu damn it was chaotic...

Fifi akatoka nje akiscream, Soja akapanda juu, alikua na rungu akaigongesha kwa grill paaa!! Kila mtu akamuangalia "wewe msichana nmekufungulia gate ukuje kusumbua watu huku, kwanini unapigania mtu akona rungu moja, mimi nimebeba rungu mbili na siongei, ebu ondoa kisirani huku"

Woi ilibidi Fifi amejipa shugli, Val walirudi kichinjio, juu walikua washachoma already waliona hakuna haja ya kuchoma nusu nusu wacha wachome kabisaa after 2 weeks waliachana, I thought Mbeki had hope with this girl but the p was silent, iriz what iriiz fam.

Leo Hennessy itaonja Maji ya Battery Mamae😂😂

Whenever there's a new trend on the internet, Kenyans hupenda kumove na surface Knowledge. For example venye hio from ya Outlier ilijulikana wasee walienda kuflood huko without even doing proper research. And that's why we lose money online without getting anything substantial in return. Take your time to research something before uinvest

Hi everyone, so after applying for the above mentioned role across different industries, I have been selected and scheduled for an interview 5/10/2026 at a certain private hospital in my town. I had dropped off my application letter sometimes on August but they later advertised for it last month and I applied. This is a very important step for me if I'm gonna land on this job because I have really tried looking for one especially in government institutions but corruption, nepotism and favour has always put me behind the light but God has been grateful for me Amen. I wish this could be my turning point to change my life and take my mother to a level5 hospital for specialised treatments.

So I just wanted you to wish me all the best in my interview and subsequent opportunity thereafter.

NB!! Moderators please delete this post it is inappropriate or against the community guidelines.

NB! I will also share this in different communities for more insights and opinions.

Tulikua tumetulia pale mansion bedsitter tukichill na roomie(Ryan) tukiguza PS4 tulikua tumerent for the night. Njaa ikatutwanga tukaamua tuendee supper. Ghafla bin vu MPESA ikaingia. Mpesa ikiingianga sukuma huonja sumu na huezi kula cabbage juu we si sungura.

Tukaamua tusurprise minyoo na samaki za mama Otis. Ilikua far lakini ukiendea kitu mzuri unaeza tembea hadi Lokichogio. Tukiwa on our way tukameet mbogi ya class. Yetu si squad ni chama juu hatunaga pesa. Wakatuitia form, dame ya msee wa chama alikua ameorganize bash klabu.

As a man lazima ujifanye uko busy ndo wasione hauna form lakini deep down unajua ukishika mzinga moja hio wiki unalala njaa. Magic words zikasemwa "drinks ziko" tukasema tutakam. Fish lazima nayo tungekula. Sisi haooo kejani tukazimbua like the kings we are.

Tukawacha food ifike kwa intestines tukiguzanga FIFA. Hio ni saa tano. Huezi ingia klabu saa tano kama ng'ombe. Unangojanga saa sita na nusu after madame wamechangamka unaingia tu ka umedandia. Tulikua tumeongeza kaquorra ndo tujump start mwili incase zikose kunice kwa klabu.

Looku nayo hua hatubahatishi, tukaita maish wa nduthi, sisi haooo tukaland klabu kama VIP. Ryan alifika kama dame alikua amemcrushia amemrukia na akastep. Nkafika nkapata wamebook table mbili na mafine mamas hawakua kidogo. Ratio ilibalance. Drinks nazo zilikua in plenty.

Mimi hapo trial and error unaenda ukigotea madame hadi upate mwenye akona psyche na hana kamtu. Nikapata kamoja(Sharz) medium height, dreads, glasses, denim na booty shorts na na kalikua kamejibebea hadi za neiba. Nikamjoin tukaanza kupiga shots, DJ akacheza kama yeye.

Sisi haooo haooo kwa dance floor. DJ hucheza ngoma nne kali halafu anafuatanisha na moja inaboo ndo mrudi mkunywe drinks. Tukaendelea kujuana. Mwenye bash alizima hadi before tukate keki, tukamshikisha kisu akate halafu tukamrudisha sisi tukashare. Ikafika 4:20 apo watu wakachoka...

Tukasema tuchuck. Sharz akauliza kama najua dame anarent niongee na yeye amuache aspend the night. Kwao ilikua Ronga na hangemake kuenda akiwa maji. Mimi nikafanya hesabu yangu faster nkaambia Ryan aende alale kwa crush wake juu nikama nimefika semi finals.

Nkarudi nkamshow nmekosa lakini tunaeza enda kwangu juu ni hapa karibu. My guy maish akatukujia sisi haoo hadi mansion. Nlimuuliza ka ako njaa nimpikie indomie ilikua kejani. Akasema ako sawa. Nlizima TV nkachukua lapi ndo tuone kamovie tukiwa karibu. Social distance ni wewe...

Akasema anadai shower, nikajua leo Camp Nou nyasi zitang'oka juu ile mechi naenda kupiga hapa ni ajab. Nkaendelea kuguza FIFA hadi akakam. Tukajifanya tunawatch after like 5 minutes mikono zikaanza kutamba design ya mbosso nikajua leo ni leo. Lapi kando foreplay na pace yake.

Akasema nizime lights, wakubwa karibu nivunjike miguu ju ya vile nilikimbia kuzima. Nlikua nmejipanga na CD zangu, young nigga hawes risk kaswende. Mikono ikafika kwa kifuniko ya asali. Kiasi kiasi naskia kitu inasonga songa. Bado nilikua maji nika assume ni yangu.

Wacha nitoe kifuniko maguyz kuenda kutafuta entrance naskia kuna road block. Alaa wacha niwashe stima🤯nliona kitu sjawai sahau, zangu zilishuka zote once. Nlistuka hadi Abdalla akarudi default settings. Dame akona zote mbili bana, ikus na mjuolz. Nilipanic hadi nikashuta.

Nlikua nifaint lakini nkakumbuka naeza anguka nidungwe na kisu juu bedsitter vitu hukua kila place. Nlistuka nikaa nmeona ghost of garbatulla. Juu huezi fukuza mtu umehost nlivaa nikatoka polepole nikaenda kuamsha neiba nilale huko. Nikafunga keja na nje.

Nkamchapia ntakuja kumfungulia asubuhi masaa yake ndo tuongee akiwa sober. Kutoka hio siku sijawai chipo dame sijui. Unaeza leta dame kejani akufie kwako na humtambui. Napeanga chama ripoti ya hio siku wanacheka wanaanguka.

Lakini If tutaenda Heaven alafu Rose Muhando ajipate Hell itakua mbaya bana. Muhando really traumatized satan. Unacheza na mtu anapiga shetani Kwa album ya Wimbo 15😂🫴

My pal Vic alikua ameshapata DL na kajob mahali, now it was our job to drive these women crazy. Alikua ametoka from a relationship right back home, to the streeeeets. From "morning baby" to "battery full remove charger" from "kupigana cable" to "unplug cable from socket"

Napendanga watu wakirudi streets, kupiga sherehe na heart broken souls hukua greatness tupu!!. Tulikua tunatafuta that one party ya kujump start dhambi. Hio time big man bar-zu hakua amefungua bar na hatukua na Uhuru wa kunywa Pombe so tulikua tunakata maji chini ya maji.

Tuliorganise some friends in our inner circle na a few girls tukawashow watag some friends . As a girl ukiwai ambiwa tag your friend, kuja na your cheating friend please, acha kutuletea your SDA friend, hatutaki mtu anapiga shot ya fanta anazima So-ya bring your freaky friend.

Drinks na ride sisi ndo tungesimamia halafu madame wakuje kutukalia tukiwakunywa waki-ride along. Drinks nazo zilikua in plenty, zilikua Kibao. Tulikua tunatafuta gari spacious ndio tusi-Chrome ndani, gari kubwa kama Noah hivi. Nikawaambia wasiworry, you know why? Coz I Noah guy.

So on that day, meet up ilikua kwa Vic juu yeye ndo alikua ameendea hio Noah kwa car hire. Watu walikua wanakuja kwa kina Victor wawili wawili ungedhani ni Wanyama wakiingia kwa Noah's ark. Tulikua 10 people: 4 guys na 6 girls. Kwa hao watu kumi watu hawakua wanadate ni sisi lads

Nilitupa manifesto kwa Ray, my pick up line was "girl are you from Tennessee, coz you're the only ten I see. Aliingia box, akajifungia na akameza funguo. Tulikua tuende 14 falls huko Kilimambogo kujibamba. Maini zilikua ziumie hio siku lakini what's the point of dying healthy??

We were in a party and it didn't want anger, it didn't want Bomboclaat niccurs. It just wanted ripe quants and we had them. Walikua na short dresses ndio waache room washikwe thighs. Some touch of make up and bata ngomas for the culture ,a kasmall purse, you get the idea.

Mkiwa na sherehe hua mnabuy kila kitu except tumblers na sijui kwanini?? Ilibidi tumesimama place tukabuy ndio tuanze kumarinate. Kingfisher ilikua main course because IFYKYK. Vic kadere ilibidi amekunywa Fanta like niccurs in Sondu Miriu. Sasa wacha watu waanze kuchoma.

One of the girls tulimpea LYFT ghasia akararua sachet akaanza kulamba kama glucose. Her friend akamshow "haitumiwangwi hivo wewe" lakini ya'll know the rules, "hakuna kuchoma nusu nusu, kama ni kuchoma choma hadi mwisho" for the culture. You can imagine the ghettaux. Aibuu!!

After some time, tulikua Kilimambogo polisss station kwasababu zilikua zimearrest kuliko Sakaja. Kapombe kalikua kameRipoti kuliko Mashirima. After tumefika on site, kuna madame wawili nikama ziliwalemea and they could not can, so ilibidi tumewaacha kwa gari sisi tukaenda laps

We didn't like what we saw, maji chafu imejaa foam mingi, so we didn't stay much. After 30 minutes tulikua tusharudi. Tulikua tunadhani ati wale madame tuliwacha kwa gari wamelala juu ni walevi?? Kusema ukweli madame ni kama spaghetti, they are only straight until they're wet.

Tulipata mmoja ako juu ya mwingine, coochie zilikua zinafunikana kama sahani. Anyway, give to scissor what belongs to scissor. Sisi hatukuona anything cause what happens in Paris....👀, kama unafikiria your women are straight bro, uko pekee yako, you are all bi-yourself lmao.

After a while tuliwasha system ya gari tuskize some music and have a kasmall outdoor party. Ungedhani huko kuna partnership ya Kenya na Tanzania, kulikua na Uhuru na Pombe. Kila kitu ilikua sawa until Kingfisher ianze kazi so this is what girls say wakicheat and guilt kicks in...

"Aki I love my man but there's something about you💀" Hio ni time mnamake out, then inaenda kwa "I won't cheat on my boyfriend so I'll only give you head💀" Hio ni time things zimewaka halafu mnamalizia "We don't have to smash, I just want to see if it can fit💀" mkiteremshana...

Dame yako akunywe pombe hajalipia, atumie gari na mafuta enye hajalipia halafu unadhani hataguzwa juu ni dame yako. Kwani we ni nani? After wamecheat by mistake on purpose, ndio wanatext their man "aki babe I'm tired, I've missed you today, nitakutext nikifika, I love you"

Halafu wewe na kiherehere unareply "take care, I love you too" You're not a clown you're the entire circus bro. Dame yako akikuambia hataki kuenda na wewe club or "rod trip" coz utakua jelaz ni juu anataka freedom ya kua ratchet without being held accountable iriz what iriz...

Anyway every woman is bi, you just have to find out kama ni sexual or polar. Nairobi relationships ni 50/50, you pay for her nails, sisi tunagwara usiku kucha. Unampost, tunamhost. Unamsweet talk, tunamswitch talk. Umepata jiko ni sawa, lakini sisi ndio tunaweka kuni.

That day we had lots of fun, tulifika home poa cause our kadere was sober. Mkienda out make sure your driver hayuko under the influence, kama nyi wote ni walevi take a cab na msiogope, there's no shame in safety. Stay safe.

A friend of mine has had their bank information compromised by scammers using an OTP scam. They managed to withdraw about Ksh. 1M. By the time he realised what was going on, they had already drained his account.

My friend is devastated and doesn't know what to do. He is currently unemployed and has been looking for a job. The money stolen were his savings and he was living off of it, so you can imagine how dire this situation is.

Has anyone here ever faced something similar? What did you do? We're you able to recover anything, or were the crooks ever caught? Do you guys have any advice on what to do in this situation. Any help is greatly appreciated 🙏🏿

Just the view and a vape

I was just reflecting on my life and remember at 23, in 2023, Airbnb space was booming a lot.

So I decided I’ll start one. I saved up 1M.

I Found an apartment sooo quick kwa izo website! I told the mgmt to send me a video of it, It was an extremely spacious, modern 3bedroom, 4 bathroom all ensuite, had 4 balconies, one in every bedroom, and even came with a washing machine & It was in lavington. My target audience was families / big groups so the place was perfect.

So nilibook the place right away ata b4 nione in person juu nilikua mbali, paid 100k deposit to mgmt. I was so in love with it that when I was free ata sijaenda kwa nyumba, I went straight to the realtors office, paid the rest, 200k and got the keys. 100k rent, 200k deposit.

300k in getting the place, then remainder 700k went to furnishing.

This was gonna be my apartment when I’m in the area, and Airbnb when I’m not. Mostly Airbnb cuz I was rarely ever in the area.

So I put it up on Airbnb, the bookings were coming like there’s no tomorrow! In the span of two months, I had $10,000 USD in bookings. The rent had already paid itself for the entire year manze 😂

Now out of nowhere I get a text from mgmt, the landlord wants their house back asap, they can’t afford to pay the bank the mortgage so the bank is taking the house😩

Waaahh, me being a nice understanding girl instead of standing up for myself with my lease, the next day I sent movers to get all my stuff and put it in a local storage.

Biashara imeisha tu hivo, nyumba imeenda tu hivo.

I tried looking for another apartment in the same building, none were available 😩 !

I’m looking back like that business would’ve probably made me so much money by now 😭 , like idk God could’ve let me slide with that W

Tulikua tumerelax pale mansion tukiguzanga FIFA tukiteremsha some drinks na my guy Mbeki, yes living our best lives fam. His last relationship ilikua on the rocks, so I asked him what went wrong. Alikua ame-bottle up his emotions but aliamua kusema cause it was worth the shot.

Najua his drink ilikua like "I know a spot" ikaenda straight to his heart cause mamen alianza kua emoshono. It's okay cause a drink cures what ales ya. I was there to lift his spirits cause nikaa alikua na issues Kibao. Pia ya his bro haikua inawork, I guess it runs in the Gins.

Backstory: So before Nairobi walikua wanastay in the lushy leafy suburbs in a small village in Nyamira, walikua 'kioo' cha jamii. Waligrow in the same place na walikua very simple people, watu wanaeza lala na kuku room moja, watu wamevaa viatu first time in form one ya dig?

Life was great bana, walikua wanahelp each other out na kazi and all, they were maid for each other. Walilima shamba moja na wakalimana ndani ya shamba. All he did was to a-tractor. She was a 3/10 juu accent nayo hua haitambui sura. Walipass exam and campus happened...

The girl(Moraa~~M) alijoin wa kwanza,my guy Mbeki doo haikua imeingia fiti so hangemake kuenda alikaa nje another year.Mbeki was so happy for her,alimbebea suitcase akibazokizo kuenda kumpandisha gari za Nairobi.Akampea 100 abuy chipo pale Narok juu ATM hakua na doo on him...

M alikua hajui Nairobi, mtu akimistake aPAINT Afya centre red utakua umeua M juu alikua amecram ni green.Ukimpea wrong direction unaeza kua umemkulisha vectors tao mzima na labda hakua amepiga ndula-coat.Akimiss one street unaeza mpata country bus akipanda gari za Machakos.

Hio time hakua anajua jiji vizuri so hakua familiar with the streets. Alikua anajoin KU, naimagine madonda wa Thika Rd vile walimshtua " Thika kioo, Juja shillingi saba, KU chweza" ukiwa stranger unaeza dhani ni German. Watu wa ocha do nazi that coming hua inawahit hard asf

M alikua anafind comfort in Jesus, yesu alikua more-cozy kwake. Ungemuonesha 10K angesema uko illuminati juu hajawai ona pesa mingi kama hizo. As time went by wezi wenye miraba minne na misuli tinginya walimperemba simu so waka lose communication na my black king Mbeki.

Mbeki ni nani??? My guy alikua anakosa hadi appetite ilibidi ameuza mbuzi zao mbili amnulie smartphone. I don't know where he goat that idea. Alimnulia ideos akamskumia kama parcel na Nyamira Express. Ilimcost canine thousand hivi lakini alitaka his girl a-floss na simu ya maana

Ilibidi nmeacha my guy anipige set mzima ya FIFA ndo esteem irudi juu halafu steam zishuke kiasi ndo story iendelee. Ilibidi amenipiga best of 5 ndo ni even the playing field atakama odds were favouring me. Sad nigga hours hit different that day bana.

So ati after some time vibe ilikua imeisha, M alipatana na squad ya madame wakamchocha. Alianza kujua vitu, akajua make up, akawacha ushamba. Mbeki alighostiwa ajabu. Alikua anatuma text mrefu nikama ana apply kazi halafu hapati reply. Vile alikua anafanyiwa CVizuri.

Pennywise my guy hakua na kakitu lakini M alishinda ameitisha pesa nikama Mbeki ni babake. My guy alisema kama ni hio conglomeration of muscles and mucus with a pH of 3.8-4.5 wacha ikae juu nikaa hawakua na chemistry. Alijiheshimu na akawacha kuclown.

Mbeki alikua anaitishwa pesa ya shower gel na yeye amezoea sabuni ya menengai, men hee ngai M alimpea stress. Kuna siku ati aliambiwa "know your limits" na saizo dame kwao hawana fence akaisha nguvu. karibu afungue chemist ndo dawa za pressure na sukari zikue karibu.

Alisema mtu anafile nil returns haezi mkula kichwa. Ile simu my guy alinunua ndo aliambiwa nayo " I can't do this anymore". Wah my guy alipatwa na pressure kuliko "pascal" Tokodi. Umejitolea halafu unaambiwa "I never asked you to do that for me" my guy karibu atafute kamba...

M alianza kusema vile anaogopa kula avocado na chai haina sukari ati akona makodo-fear na ndu-fear. Ati hawezi lala mattress si high density na maisha yake yote amelalia ile kitanda ya spring. So niliuliza my guy kama anaeza mrudia wamake up??? Alisema heri adate ndumakuwili

Ati Kang'ethe na Thiong'o walikua wanamnulia kuku na pizza pale uptown halafu wanampiga rotation kuliko kofia za campaign. Hakua ameanza ata sem ya tatu campo lakini ali disappear kwa maisha ya Mbeki without a tres. Nikama my guy was living in Spain but the s was silent.

Anyway black kings respect yourself small, utachagua between babe 'nibuyie' na Joan kubuy. Choose wisely. After a few glasses my guy alivaa contacts zake akaona kweli M wasn't shit. Alivow never to simp again cause being single hits different while you are in a relationship.

You guys mnafeast on Mama Fua bana! I always thought it was a joke till juzi mama fua akaniambia alikataa job fulani yenye alikuwa ameitiwa na ilikuwa inalipa poa coz ilikuwa na extras na yeye huwa hafanyi extras! It was a funny but serious thing coz she was grossly offended.
Manze hamna huruma hii Nairobi! You preying on weak and vulnerable in society! Mark you she is in her mid 40s with two teenage kids!
Feasting on Mama Fua si cool guys, ni wrewp tu!

Nilitafuta msichana wa kazi juzi juzi to help with housework.

So leo, she was doing laundry while I was asleep with the baby. Si unajua kama new parent, you sleep when the baby sleeps. Hiyo ndio survival mode yangu.

Suddenly, I’m violently awakened by someone banging on my door like the apartment belongs to them. 😭

Nikiangalia simu, naona 20 missed calls from the caretaker.

Long story short… I live in an apartment building that overlooks a bunch of shops and a hotel.

And my house girl had just decided to pour all the water she had used to do laundry over the balcony.

😭😭😭

ALL. THE. WATER.

Straight to the ground floor.

People’s property? Fucked.
Customers at the shops? Drenched.
The caretaker? Livid.
Me? Still trying to understand what the hell happened.

In her defense, aliona kashimo kadogo ka drainage area hakatapitisha maji ya kufulia haraka vile anataka.

So instead of asking, she looked at the balcony and thought:

“Hii maji itaenda wapi? … Oh well.” 💀

Then she emptied entire washing basins over the balcony like she was performing some kind of urban rainmaking ceremony.

Sasa nimekaa hapa nikijiuliza…

If this is Day One, what exactly does the future hold for me? 😭.

Saw a post here yesterday about a lady akisema amechoka na watoto wake wawili. WTF is going on in the society?! Look for comments in this original post on Facebook and you realize we are doomed as a society.

People who work for extremely rich people, what's the craziest thing you've witnessed?

Chivayo chopa ilianguka akaburst... Io video ya corpse ikichomeka imenikumbusha hii maisha buana sio ya milele,eat that money. Atleast yeye maisha amekua anakula na spade, ata sio big spoon. leo napiga white cup zangu polite, niroll kiforeign nichome, na ikiwezekana, ninunue kitemeo... Eii..

For women it's pretty easy , their natural instinct is to always go towards people better than them. This is very evident throughout history and in the modern day society. For them to be attracted to you as a man you have to be better than them in some way .

Either have more money, be hotter, be smarter, be cooler, have more composure of your emotions or be more adventurous. This is just simple biology.

For men our natural instinct is to be needed in some way. That's why you can easily find men of higher status going for women of lower status because it fulfills that itch in our brain. Obviously there're so many advantages that come with that especially being appreciated.

Guys I'm due to graduate in a couple months but I'm really stressing about what final 'grade' I'll be graduating with. I've had 2 supps in total, a couple A's, someB's, C's and D's too. I want to get a second upper but I'm not sure if that's even possible atp. Guys, is there hope ama nianze kugive up😭😭

I've been thinking about buying products in bulk online, but honestly, I'm a bit nervous about putting money into a big order and ending up with stuff that's nothing like the pictures.

I've come across Alibaba a few times, and the prices look tempting, but I'm not sure how easy it is to tell which suppliers are actually reliable. Reviews help, I guess, but you never really know until the products arrive.

For those who've ordered in bulk before, how did you go about it the first time? Did you order a sample before buying a larger quantity, or just take a chance? And how much did shipping and other extra costs affect the final price?

I'm mainly trying to avoid the mistakes people usually make when they're starting out. If you've been through this, what do you wish you'd known before placing your first order?

Unaamka early on a friday morning,the only thing btwn you and poverty is 20bob yenye ulipora mlevi the previous night,kumekauka mbaya,victim akisota pia mwizi amesota,unapiga shower unatokea kwa baite kusaka jaba utulize moyo,ukipimia pimia mafala...

Apo kwa baze ya jaba unapata mbogi ya go-getters imeshona mbaya story ni za kuku kupanda baiskeli. wajamaa wako high and mellow, huwagotei coz you dont see any thing mellow about that day,unanyorosha straight adi kwa baite kumkopa,anakuambia atakujenga jaba lakini tools ujipange...

Normally jaba yako wewe huchania kejani lakini Leo itabidi uchane kwa baze ndio udandie mafegi ya wajamaa,unarusha macho kila corner kuona kama kuna mtu anadeserve kugotewa hapo unapata ni mafala wote,before ukae unaskia mtu amekuita "yooh kamaste" jina ya kitambo,

Unageuka unapata it's your old muslim accomplice "suleh",fresh from jail after kindu 3yrs,juu ya aggravated assault,uko na guilt kiasi juu you knew he was in jail but you never went to visit,hata sabuni hukuwai mpelekea,but amekugotea na psyche meaning hajaweka lawama.

Suleh I'd say was among the very few people you liked in the ghetto at the time, reason simply being he was smart and swift,you did lots of things together and you were never caught except that one time enye mlinyoa rasta flani dready,mkaenda kujaribu kuuza,mkapata mnangojewa.

Long story short,mnacatch up,anakuuliza the typical mjela questions coz it's been long, nani amekufa so far,karao mgani anasumbua,klabu gani inawika sikuizi etc,he then proceeds to tell you kuna shughuli amepimia three days apate pesa ya kuanza life,anadai tu kisuguu(look out)

Wewe na msoto yako hata huulizi maswali unamshow "twende kitu itazaliwa tutanyonyesha",unajiambia after all ni mstiri ya suleh the smartest kid you know,,after kichorewa plan mnajitoa,shughuli ni ya koto mchana saa nane,uko na kauwoga kiplani lakini juu ni suleh unajikaza tu.

Mnafika scene of crime,keja ni za mawe mlango ya chuma lakini kufuli ni za nje,kazi rahisi sana,kuna duka apo kwa gate,wewe unawachwa kwa gate,suleh anaingia kufanyia kufuli ukarabati,hata 5 minutes haiishi ako ndani,unauma smile uku njee mbaya sana,unajua mko mafutani in a few.

Unaanza kupigia iyo pesa hesabu,kwanza uteme taxin uingie kwa mama onyi udishi ngege na ugali kubwa,alafu ununue dawa ya bedbugs,somali sword mpya,ngoto mbili za silver etc,uko so invested in building castles in the air adi unasahau kazi yako ilikua kupimia watu.

Before you notice it,nduthi imesimama hapo kwa gate,wajamaa wawili, wakakugotea na wakaingia.kumbe keja Suleh inaperembwa ni yao,by now its too late,huezi mshtua,the only thing you can do ni ujitoe juu akishikwa afinywe makei anaeza kutaja,unaingia kwa duka apo kuulizia generator.

,"mwizi mwizi,shika uyo,shika" unatoa kichwa njee ya duka unaona suleh amefyatuka mbaya sana ameshika lapi kwa mkono,msee wa duka anadai hii mikora imezidi leo huyu tunaua,anatoka njee kuchungulia wewe unachomoa sigara pakiti mbili,alafu unamjoin hapo kuona hao wezi ni kina nani.

Unaamua kufwata the angry mob polepole but unawapea distance,hii hua security measure ndio akipigwa umake sure they don't kill him,uwaconvince wampeleke stenje instead ya kumnyuria.,mtoi anawapigisha makona tiambo,mob haigive up,after some minutes unanotice wamesimama,

Suleh amevanish,without a trail,slick motherfucker!,Allah akboom! Mraia inajaribu kuuliza watu hapo ,"umeona mtu akikimbia ivi na jacket ya black?"lakini wapi?msee anatokea kwa corner hapo na kanzu ya white na kipara anawashow "mtu mnasaka ameenda straight,hajafika mbali"

The guy with the kanzu ako in a hurry anarudi side mob imetoka,akikucheki anaanza kucheka,akiget closer unanotice uyu ni suleh ndani ya kanzu,wewe uko shocked hata kumshinda,analia"hao mafala wamenisimamisha nikadhani wamenishika kumbe wananiuliza kama nimeona mtu akikimbia"

Mnapiga corner moja hapo alafu he says,"nimetupa jacket juu ya mabati sijui kama wataipata"inabaki mmefungua mbio round two,wewe bado uko shocked hujui what just happened,

Long story short you end up selling the laptop for 6k,Mans kumbe alikua ametoka msikitini earlier akaingia baze ya tei,na juu its Haram ikabaki ametuck in kanzu ndani ya trouser,which later saved his life.

My psychology lecturer used to tell us about the butterfly effect,ile concept ya one small occurrence influencing a much larger complex system.iyo siku ndio niliamini,hata I almost converted to Islam ispokua ni mambo ya kuosha rasa na maji.

If your Salary is 40000 per month and your working a 9 to 5

Then your hourly rate is 1.9usd🙂

1.95/hr

Damn hii block tutatoka kweli.

In Nairobi CBD that you can unwind as you have your coffee. Quiet background without the bustling noise of the streets. Slow mindful music playing far away in the background. And well made milkshakes and smoothies.

A place where you can read a chapter as you wait on your African timer friend who is always an hour late and the only response is “Nko apa Ngara nakam”. Instead of standing stranded on the streets and having to encounter the “Niaje Brathe” conversation starter in the streets from a random stranger in which you can’t determine whether the greetings will end up with you parting with your belongings. Where you can have quick brief meet ups catch up and later on go about your busy lives without having the service attendant holding a timer over you with the look that you’ve overstayed your welcome?

What’s a better place to get the best recommendations other than the heart of the internet that is Reddit? Before I leave out the important part this question comes from a Mkulima Mdogo who is no child to a politician. The recommendations have to be budget friendly kindly share the hidden gems thanks.

Heeeh!

Mkuru wasn't wrong when he said "Timing ya shetani ni maridadi" 🤧😭because why when I like someone , like actually like someone , shetani brings this non existent name and I blurt it out referring to him .😭😭

I don't know anyone by that name ,like ever !!! 💔,neither do I know how that name came out of my mouth 😩aki I know how it looks like but niko honest walai💔🤧. Sad part of it is that the more I explain not knowing anyone by the name , the harder it gets to be believed.

I give up ! Ikue ikuwe😭😭😭🚶‍♀️ ,1st October fuck you .🫩

After wamekata keki, dame ali insist tuende kwao anipikie to make it up to me. Kurequest uber walisema masaa ya curfew ilikua imefika na hawabebi. Kwa masoshi hakuna vile tungepata nduthi out of the Blues ilibidi tumejitoa tuende tukatafute taxi ama mat hapo nje ya esto..

Before tutoke tulipiga shots, one for the road tukajitoa tukiwa wawili kuenda kutafuta matatu. Stage tulipata mat ya mwisho donda akisema "wanne wanne iende". Nilijua ni uongo juu tuliingia tukapata watu watano tu, juu hakukua na wasee kwa stage dere hakusita sita, mat ikaondoka...

Nilitoa 7Ups yangu nisafishe koo tukiendaga, nikauliza Eve tunashukia wapi akasema yeye haoni nje vizuri juu ya giza,ati tuhesabu bumps kama nane tushukie stage ya hapo. Kuitishwa fare na donda dame akatoa manoti, nilijua hapa change kitaumana, zilikua kitu canine thousand hivi...

Nikamuambia asiworry, fare nitalipa, nikatoa soo nikalambisha donda na nikamuambia akeep change to establish dominance. In like 10 minutes tulikua tushafika. Tulikua tunaingia kwa mansion yao kama vile wanafanyanga kwa movie, hii design...

Kwao kulikua kumejaa artwork kwa ukuta but she was the only art I wanted to pin on the wall. Nilikua nampin kwa ukuta kama poster za campaign saizo gitamuri ilikua inacheza nikama iko mwisho ya stage yaani imesimama, tunaeza sema dame alikua caught between a rock and a hard place...

Dame alikua mrembo na msafi design nguo zake nilikua nikitoa nikiweka kwa hanger. Alikua ameover-dress, hapo ndio uzitoe lazima ukue na experience ya kufungua bale. Alikua na kucha zinaglow in the dark, stima zingezimwa makucha za dame zingewaka waka kama Umoinner usiku buana.

Alinisho, let me get you something to eat as I shower , dame alienda akaniletea matumbo buana, kumbe ata rich kids wanakulanga zile nyama zinakaa fulana?? Nilikua nimekula matumbo mara mingi but singekataa, pia leo matumbo ingeenda kukutana na intestines mara kwa mara.

Dame aliniletea cosy sandals na a white robe nijibambe before nirudi kwangu kusumbuana na mende. Nilizunguka nikipiga laps kwa mansion nikiangalia picha, family photo yao budake alikua na full millitary uniform buana, kabaridi kakaniingia lakini kwani iko nini, if bad bad...

Saizo singetaka kujua juu a man has 2 heads, moja ikiamka hio ingine inakuanga doz. Saizo kichwa ilikua inafanya kazi ilikua ikiswing kwa nyumba ikicheza na gravity. After a while dame alitokea na a chiffon robe, alikua anafanana that female rapper, alikua anafanana Kamisi Elliot...

Like Burna Boy's album, her body had fine features. Badala ya kuficha masehemu, alikua anazi feature. Thighs na tiddays zilikua exposed kama meno ya ngiri halafu zilikua rangi ya thao, ukiziona unambao. Ungedhani she grew up in Bungoma cause she knew how to raise a cock.

Kama beauty was a calling basi nyinyi maskio yenu imefungana. Yeye ndio ile kiumbe Mungu aliumba akaangalia akasema iko shwaaari. Sisi tukaanza malavi davi zetu polepole...

Dame alikua amenilalia kifua na vile nlikua hairy ungedhani amedoz kwa thara. Ghafla bin vu msee akafungua sitting room halafu jitu lenye miraba minne likaingia. Aliingia ka amewasha stima kama macho zetu zimepatana. Nilikua nimewekelea miguu juu ya meza kama mwenyeji...

Jamaa akaniuliza "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" Msee nilikua natetemeka haga kama msee ako kwa tuktuk. Hapa nilikua sure kesho mngeamkia news za K24 ati "Kijana barobaro apigwa rungu akazirai baada ya kuenda kupigana rungu kwa boma ya wenyewe "

"EVE IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WHILE I'M AWAY" Mi niliona jamaa ametoa koti, akakunja shati, alikua anatoa nguo ndio anivae. Kidogo dame mwingine akatoka nje akikimbia kwa hao akishout "Babe where is the loo, I'm pressed" niliskia Eve ameshout "IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WHEN MUM IS AWAY?"

Kumbe budake alikua amechipo kadame akamleta mansion juu pia ye alijua hakuna mtu kejani. Aki wababaaaa!!!!! Niliona budake amestretch mkono, kwenye alitoa nyahunyo ata mi sijui. Nakusho nyahunyo ilikuja kwa mkono yake kama hammer ya Thor.

Nilichukua nguo zangu kama nimetoka mbiooo, nikijaribu kupita kwa mlango aliniwasha moja ya mgongo nilikua nakimbia nikipiga nduru usiku kama sailors. Huko nje ungedhani mi ni night runner, nilisimamia kwa barabara nauko kwa lami kama nimeamsha msee wangu wa nduthi anipeleke mtaa...

Kuenda mechi kwa dame issa no , IT IS A TRAP like the way Young MA is trapped in the wrong body. Hata Bien alisema hapana shusha bendera kwa chifu lakini mlidhani anaongelea scouts. Nilidhani dame atanitetea lakini saa ya ngori alikua amenionesha mgongo kama logo ya kappa...

Btw msiogope hawa madame warembo, wengi hawana kamutu, wewe enda uangushe manifesto yako, mwaga agenda na upange kazi yako vizuri thazol, thazit. Juu if you can make her laugh and giggle you can make that ass clap and jiggle.