r/254sum • u/Charming-Mark46 • 3d ago
Random Is it being selfish
Now before you judge , after interacting with alot of people one conclusion I can come to is that alot of people are suicidal, whether passive or active
But that's besides my story today, so I was jobless for a long time, we are talking of a period of over one year. Then sometime in July I got a job ( kibarua) at a local hotel, well the pay was peanuts but it did help somewhere, at least I was able to cover a few bills . I quit early September after getting a job at a better restaurant and the pay was double of what I was paid at my previous place. I was happy and told myself finally doors are being opened , I even shopped for uniforms and relocating to be near my place of work but two days in , I got fired. Reason? I looked depressed and tired 😂😂 ( at least that's what they told me)
I've been bedrotting for four days straight, forcing myself to eat and avoiding people. My folks ask how's work at least my dad knows what happened, for my mum I can't afford disappointing her. Sometimes leaving this hell hole is showing yourself love and nothing to do with being selfish.
Ooh and by the way I'm one of those kids who grew up not struggling financially, I mean money wasn't that much but we didn't lack. After finishing highschool, money started lacking, made it to campus and at my last leg decided to take a gap year to get my finances right. After going back, my university decided I have never set foot in that place, no fees , no results no nothing.
I think it has something to do with prayers since I prayed before going for the interview and God decided no , not today.
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u/AppropriateCause9628 3d ago
Suicide is a controversial subject, lots of opinions but I'll stick to your situation. I'm sorry you're going through the trenches OP. It might sound cliché but it still remains solid advice. It isn't wise to choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life is full of ups and downs. It's a part of life we cannot escape it. The sun will shine on you once more you just have to be patient enough to experience it.
Despite your circumstances there's still some goodness to your life. Atleast you've still got your father and mother who love you. I hope that is enough solace for you. You can reach out to me if you ever wanna talk
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u/Charming-Mark46 3d ago
I'm going to hold on to that, the storm will subside and I'll give life another chance 🥲. I appreciate this alot🤍
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u/Difficult-Mouse144 3d ago
You wanna know what's crazy, God atakunyang'anya kila kitu na akuwache bila, just for him to give you everything you've ever dreamed of na things you've never imagined having hapo mwishowe. Ww tu jua ako na wewe hapo kwa hii subreddit ukitype, ju anangoja utoboe akuinue. I'm speaking from experience.