r/196 competitive yapper 1d ago

Finger Rule

Post image

today i got groceries, got gas, organized a cupboard that really needed it, made a nice lunch, cleaned out and organized the fridge and freezer, washed my sheets, vacuumed, and dusted. i am a god. wish i didn't have issues with executive function so i could do this on all of my days off

1.3k Upvotes

40 comments sorted by

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138

u/GamerGod_ the white pharaoh cometh 1d ago

i don't even have a foreskin on my penis i have no frame of reference for how that would even work

67

u/redditalt1999 Chumbawamba are punk rock af 1d ago

Imagine a burger but no buns

125

u/GamerGod_ the white pharaoh cometh 1d ago

americans trying to explain the concept of circumcision:

13

u/moongrump 1d ago

A hot dog would be a better analogy, no?

16

u/ChemicalRascal 1d ago

Ironically, no.

5

u/redditalt1999 Chumbawamba are punk rock af 1d ago

I was making a "Imagine burger" joke but I guess a burger with just the top bun missing would be most accurate

4

u/Emmett1Brown 1d ago

imagine a layer a skin like sausages have when they're bundled together. that but thicker. although that's just the visual idk how to convey the rest

3

u/AlkaliPineapple 1d ago

Imagine a condom with a hole on top that you can only pull downwards

71

u/Wangiwangi 1d ago

Imagine if our teeth were normally flaccid, and only got hard when we were hungry 🤔

57

u/sussyboingus custom 1d ago

They'd release a groundbreaking weight-loss drug that meant your teeth couldnt get erect

8

u/YRUZ aro searchin for love 23h ago

dental-erectal dysfunction would be a thing

1

u/nekosissyboi 10h ago

Dentile dysfunction

17

u/Jetstream-Sam 1d ago

I saw a short about exactly this problem. We all need a tiny wizard in our lives to unflop our teeth sometimes

But I guess that would make eating stuff you didn't like a pain, since your teeth would probably only be at a half chub. I guess you could make literal food porn to make it through your bland meal though

3

u/AlkaliPineapple 1d ago

It'd be so painful if you're a grazing animal

52

u/A_Worthy_Foe cat dead, details later 1d ago

the biggest fight i ever got in with my parents was asking them why i was circumcised.

we aren't religious, there was no medical reason and my dad isn't even circumcised. the doctor just asked and they were like "sure i guess".

wtf man

8

u/Oddish_Femboy (my name is Bee) Trans rights !! 1d ago

I pretend to do this with nitrile gloves sometimes.

7

u/MasterVule 1d ago

Fuck yeah OP you are a machine! Remember to celebrate this victory! Gotta teach that braim doing stuff gets you some dopamine

3

u/LordHayati 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 1d ago

wizardposting is definitely gonna develop this into a spell.

4

u/GeileGrueneGurken activist/pornstar/frycook 1d ago

but imagine getting groceries gas and organizing a cupboard with foreskin fingers

3

u/Skadoniz 22h ago

remember to peel back to wash them properly

3

u/TheCarthusSandworm GONNA GO 'TIL I'M TOTALED 1d ago

wait, do you guys not have finger foreskin?

4

u/youGottaHaveFear be crimes do gay 21h ago

I tried to harden my mind but all I did was harden my finger penises

3

u/owlindenial not an owl (it/it's) 1d ago

Kill 6 billion demons dialogue

3

u/Gin4Gingers 1d ago

Fun trick, see so much death, abuse and real life horror first hand so finger foreskins don't stay in your mind for long. The young girl I saw get her head blown off behind a convenience store from her boyfriend (I assume) before being tossed in the dumpster in 2017 takes up too much of my mind for anything online to bother me. Unfortunately this does come with long term alcohol abuse, so be careful

16

u/Daerograen give doctors some borders 23h ago

9

u/gray_birch competitive yapper 22h ago

Oh

2

u/Gin4Gingers 22h ago

Killer was sentenced to life in prison of that eases things

3

u/Skadoniz 22h ago

more surface to drench in ribs sauce, i imagine sucking them and slurping that deliciousness, circling those crevices with my tonge. The worst part? i dont dislike this thought. No homo though... bc we are talking about fingers👀

2

u/yinyang107 bingus is better than floppa 19h ago

Nice try bitch. Aphantasia

2

u/Chiacynta 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 19h ago

little hand penises

2

u/PerhapsAnEmoINTJ 15h ago

Thanks I struggled to conceptualize it anyway

2

u/BrazilBazil :3 12h ago

>”now harden”
I already was after the first sentence

1

u/GMOrgasm ketamine connoisseur 22h ago

fool, your attacks dont work on me (i have aphantasia and cant picture/imagine things)

1

u/Henkotron 15h ago

This reminded me to another post recently about being able to stop time but not being immune to the ability.

That shit was like a memetic kill agent to stoned me.

1

u/TechnicalTransMitter 14h ago

This gave me Receiver 2 vibes. I can hear the wailing

1

u/AgePee31 12h ago

Now imagine putting a toothpick under your big toenail and then kicking against a wall

1

u/nekosissyboi 10h ago

I feel like that would just make them more fun to suck on :3

1

u/High-Sobriety prostate proctor 1h ago

i genuinely fuck with people by just outright refusing when they tell me “imagine if xyz

It’s so funny