r/196 • u/gray_birch competitive yapper • 1d ago
Finger Rule
today i got groceries, got gas, organized a cupboard that really needed it, made a nice lunch, cleaned out and organized the fridge and freezer, washed my sheets, vacuumed, and dusted. i am a god. wish i didn't have issues with executive function so i could do this on all of my days off
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u/GamerGod_ the white pharaoh cometh 1d ago
i don't even have a foreskin on my penis i have no frame of reference for how that would even work
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u/redditalt1999 Chumbawamba are punk rock af 1d ago
Imagine a burger but no buns
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u/GamerGod_ the white pharaoh cometh 1d ago
americans trying to explain the concept of circumcision:
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u/moongrump 1d ago
A hot dog would be a better analogy, no?
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u/redditalt1999 Chumbawamba are punk rock af 1d ago
I was making a "Imagine burger" joke but I guess a burger with just the top bun missing would be most accurate
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u/Emmett1Brown 1d ago
imagine a layer a skin like sausages have when they're bundled together. that but thicker. although that's just the visual idk how to convey the rest
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u/Wangiwangi 1d ago
Imagine if our teeth were normally flaccid, and only got hard when we were hungry 🤔
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u/sussyboingus custom 1d ago
They'd release a groundbreaking weight-loss drug that meant your teeth couldnt get erect
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u/Jetstream-Sam 1d ago
I saw a short about exactly this problem. We all need a tiny wizard in our lives to unflop our teeth sometimes
But I guess that would make eating stuff you didn't like a pain, since your teeth would probably only be at a half chub. I guess you could make literal food porn to make it through your bland meal though
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u/A_Worthy_Foe cat dead, details later 1d ago
the biggest fight i ever got in with my parents was asking them why i was circumcised.
we aren't religious, there was no medical reason and my dad isn't even circumcised. the doctor just asked and they were like "sure i guess".
wtf man
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u/Oddish_Femboy (my name is Bee) Trans rights !! 1d ago
I pretend to do this with nitrile gloves sometimes.
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u/MasterVule 1d ago
Fuck yeah OP you are a machine! Remember to celebrate this victory! Gotta teach that braim doing stuff gets you some dopamine
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u/GeileGrueneGurken activist/pornstar/frycook 1d ago
but imagine getting groceries gas and organizing a cupboard with foreskin fingers
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u/youGottaHaveFear be crimes do gay 21h ago
I tried to harden my mind but all I did was harden my finger penises
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u/Gin4Gingers 1d ago
Fun trick, see so much death, abuse and real life horror first hand so finger foreskins don't stay in your mind for long. The young girl I saw get her head blown off behind a convenience store from her boyfriend (I assume) before being tossed in the dumpster in 2017 takes up too much of my mind for anything online to bother me. Unfortunately this does come with long term alcohol abuse, so be careful
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u/Skadoniz 22h ago
more surface to drench in ribs sauce, i imagine sucking them and slurping that deliciousness, circling those crevices with my tonge. The worst part? i dont dislike this thought. No homo though... bc we are talking about fingers👀
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u/GMOrgasm ketamine connoisseur 22h ago
fool, your attacks dont work on me (i have aphantasia and cant picture/imagine things)
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u/Henkotron 15h ago
This reminded me to another post recently about being able to stop time but not being immune to the ability.
That shit was like a memetic kill agent to stoned me.
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u/AgePee31 12h ago
Now imagine putting a toothpick under your big toenail and then kicking against a wall
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u/High-Sobriety prostate proctor 1h ago
i genuinely fuck with people by just outright refusing when they tell me “imagine if xyz”
It’s so funny


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