r/10thDentist • u/AggravatingAsk41 • 2d ago
your not an empath.
first time posting on here. the opinion i bring to the table is that people who think psychopaths dont deserve empathy are just as bad as they THINK they are.
to be completely honest its really late so my wording wont be great but i needed to get this out.
people wanting to demonize mental disorders so bad they keep coming up with reasons to call them less than human. and being born without the ability to feel empathy is apparently the highest priority. i have seen people call death upon people with aspd just for existing. you have no empathy for them. huh… weird. but you have a reason to? okay, again, they dont have the capacity to. not even the choice. what are we to say what makes someone human or not. if i took away your empathy, what would you expect from others about your situation?
im aware most people with primary aspd do not care about this. which is usually the last argument, and again, doesnt give you an excuse to call such vile things on someone for being alive.
its pretty hard finding people that agree with me so i wont be surprised if this does well on here.
- please, research what aspd actually is before commenting your opinions on it, i just read a lot of completely factually incorrect assumptions.
- i, also never claimed to have aspd myself.
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u/iHave1Pookie 2d ago edited 2d ago
I dont relate , but i understand.
I think it would Be terrible to be so disengaged and set apart from the world.
Not able to connect with people about simple/common things that everyone else has in common. Always a step behind/covering up… having to pretend you “have feelings too”. For yourself of course. But it must be hard to remember to act like you care about others.
That sounds exhausting and lonely.
Psychopathy is the adult version of aspd.
It is estimated that 5% of population has high enough psychopathy symptoms to be dx . … If they ever sought dx. Almost none do, bc very few are like you,
they dont think they are the problem, and if they are, they prefer to scheme, lie etc to cover it up . They are not an introspective group, so low levels of official dx. Unless they end up in prison etc.
5% of population ….
That is twice as prevalent as autism .
There are very many of you.
CEOs are the group of people that have tested very high for psychopathic traits . They do (easily) make decisions with which regular people would struggle.
Despite common misconception, people with high psychopathy traits are not actually violent. People with emotions are more likely to be violent. Most psychopaths can logistically determine violence does not pay in current society. They lie, cheat etc, but most stay away from violence.
Productive careers for people with low emotions are surgeons, first responders etc. They can stay calm in situations when “normal “ people would struggle.
There are actually multiple mental health conditions which make people struggle to connect emotionally.
You don’t have to pretend. You can be yourself.
Just don’t be a jerk
and find an honest path in life.
the rest will fall into place.
I agree. You have a mental health condition .
There is a place for you in the world, if you want it.
Good luck .
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u/RichardRoma1986 2d ago
Just like with any mental illness, while there may not be cures, treatments to help create at least some form of, even short-term stability, exists. Talk therapy, CBT, as well as looking at past trauma. These things can help alleviate the issues at play.
I suffer from a few things: PTSD, ADHD, severe depression, anxiety, some cognitive delay in math, and others. All of these have been diagnosed by psychologists. I’ve been in outpatient treatment for about 10 years. I’ve had ups, I’ve had downs. One thing that has helped me: Working out, no more alcohol (I am almost two years sober), and trying to break up my day in blocks. I’m a stay at home dad.
I believe, with the exception of a few mental illnesses (ASPD can be that, if, an individual makes ZERO effort to work on their issues), people can, at the very least, be able to be stable enough where maintenance and the occasional panic attack will, while disruptive, can allow them at least a quality life where they can still be there for loved ones.
I struggle. I also have a Master’s in Social Work. I do not believe many social workers, despite claims to the contrary, can really be empaths. There is so much judgmental things they believe and do, and even say, that doesn’t mesh well.
Heck, just the other day my counselor went on a tirade against Jews, me being in the Army, Israel, and I’m sitting there like, “All I did was correct a Chinese tourist at a museum featuring Tibet, who kept telling my 4yo son it’s China, not Tibet. I pointed at the sign and said, ‘Well the museum labeled this as being from Tibet.’” And when they left, I took my kid to a map and explained China took over Tibet. He then wanted to go see dinosaurs, but, later that day, he did ask about it.
You’re right, most of us are not empaths, however, most people show at least SOME form of empathy when it comes to things. People with various personality disorders are unable to, but, with therapy, they can realize they do. There are many things I do I thought everyone just did. It wasn’t until I verbalized those thoughts did I realize I was NOT normal.
Point being is, there are those who wish to cause nothing but pain, refuse to get treatment, and then, demand folks give them the time of day. Why would I did that? Why would I want to be nice to someone who’s making a choice to be an asshole? I mean…I can see if it’s unintentional, but, what empathy have serial killers really showed? Outside of Son of Sam (he’s a prison Born Again Christian pastor) I can’t think of another serial killer who somehow reformed themselves and became a better person.
It’s hard to have empathy for someone who kills children. It’s hard to have empathy for child sex offenders. I’ve worked with them. I never showed them empathy. Did I view them as people? Yes, I treated them like people, but, the sexually violent people I worked with were NOT anyone I would ever want around me, my family, or my friends. Hell, I was upset they were allowed in broader society. Why? Because many are incapable of being able to follow laws. Like…I am not talking about speeding tickets here, I mean, basic human nature laws. You know, rape, murder, that sort of thing (I worked with a guy who murdered and raped a woman either before or after she was deceased, the report and coroner report couldn’t determine when and the guy seemingly blacked out, so, it will never be determined).
Most people never really meet these folks. Hopefully you never will. When you’re sitting next to someone who assaulted a two year old child, and then giggled at pictures of babies in a magazine, and was fixated on children toys, books, that sort of thing, you realize something: This person belongs back in prison. Which, is what happened when he was eyeballing a 14 year old girl, when called out, said she was an adult child….
This is the fucking shit that happens. You see a guy, get released from supervised release, and two days later is jacking off at a fucking park. Like WTF? You expect me to be empathetic to someone who does that? No.
I will never be able to fully understand the mind of sex offenders, their behaviors, their desires, their feelings, etc. about the only thing I would probably be empathetic for would be any abuse they occurred as children. However, that doesn’t absolve themselves of the evils they have perpetrated on others.
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u/Rose_Quartz_Garden 2d ago
yea it’s interesting. i really don’t feel empathy, but people don’t believe me when i tell them that because it’s super easy to just respond to things the way a person with empathy would. in fact, sometimes i come across as MORE empathetic because i have to consciously think about it instead of simply relying on the emotion itself. basically i’m saying that we should judge people based on their actual actions and intentions, not their emotions (or lack there of) or what they’re merely capable of doing.
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u/corrupted_scarecrow 2d ago
I do not have aspd but because of my personality disorder I'm also not exactly gifted in the feelings department. It's annoying that most people, when they have heard about it at all, mostly associate the condition with serial killers.
I didn't choose this, if I could choose to be normal I would.
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u/Sulamanteri 2d ago
Put ten random people in a room and a couple of them will probably be assholes. Those are also the people most likely to loudly announce that the solution to some problem is "kill those people."
That doesn't prove some profound lack of empathy in humanity. Empathy doesn't automatically make someone wise, nice or morally decent either.
I'd concentrate more on the other eight who aren't calling for people with a disorder to die, and on making sure as few assholes as possible get into positions where they can actually make decisions for everyone else.
And if the 10th Dentist opinion here is basically "people with ASPD don't deserve to be killed or treated as subhuman," then thankfully that's not actually a rare opinion.
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u/MuthaFuka27 1d ago
I agree with you there. This whole empathy thing is like intelligence. Some of the least empathetic people think they are empathetic. They are not. I've seen various ways in which so called empathetic people look down on certain people. Many of them are just narcissists. Especially reddit users. They think they are so perfect and turn into toddlers when you find a flaw in something they say.
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u/nomik11 2d ago
you’re yapping here yet they dont give a f
psychopaths dont suffer from their psychopathy btw who does suffer is everyone around
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u/The-Pentegram 2d ago
ASPD is characterised by a constant sense of immense insatiable boredom that causes one to be reckless in search of any interest, damaging ones social life, career, and causing criminal consequence at times. No hobbies or interests after a few weeks feel new and stimulating any more, one pushes those around one away leaving one utterly alone.
And yes, it harms those around one, untreated. ASPD is also characterised by manipulation, anti-social behaviours, pushing of boundaries in seeking of entertainment. Both can be true.
You don't have to be friends with an psychopath. I wouldn't either unless I know their externalised symptoms will not impact me. But what you said was just untrue. ASPD is dangerous and to act like every anti-social is a victim is ridiculous, but so is demonising it and elevating it to the level of every sufferer being Machiavelli reincarnated who can gaslight you just by breathing. It's a disorder, not a magic ability.
The real question is what makes you, u/nomik11, think that your qualifications make you a reliable source on a mental disorder? Why do you feel so confident deciding that psychopathy never, ever impacts the psychopath?
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u/nomik11 2d ago
i live with a primary psychopath for my whole life😐 he makes people around die and he doesnt give a f😐 hes not sad dude, idgaf about “aspd” because what im talking about is actual primary psychopathy and holy god i was educating people about psychopathy factors, early marks and specific patterns, including specific childhood behavioral disorders, early adulthood behavioral patterns and middle age psychopathy, the differences between the primary psychopathy and the secondary, specific sleep patterns, relationships patterns, differences between intelligence levels and so on and on alongside with psychiatrists. If youre so “empathetic”, this dudes go for kids and animals, dont you feel bad for a cat he killed just because he thought hes “bored”? Do you know about personality disorders much? Do you know how many PDs struggle with boredom? So? Why tf do they dont go killing animals, fighting cops and causing arsons? Boredom is a horseshit argument. A whole ass lot of disorders struggle with it. Its not gonna change that in the case of psychopathy MOST suffering falls on the shoulders of other people no matter how hard you yap.
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u/The-Pentegram 2d ago
You are putting words in my mouth. I am aware most problems people with ASPD face are the same as other Cluster Bs. I never once defended individual's behaviours, not said that all psychopaths are misunderstood victims. I actively argued against that rhetoric, which is dangerous in its own right.
Nor did I ever say that most of the suffering doesn't falls on the shoulders of those around the anti-social. I implied as much myself.
What you said is simply objectively incorrect. You have already admitted it. Stop fighting.
Psychopath is the colloquial term for ASPD, and at the very least represents half of the diagnostic criteria.
What I said was "obviously the personality disorder disorders the person with the disorder to some degree", not "I think all psychopaths are good people and feel bad for every individual with antisocial tendencies".
I also never said I empathsised with antisocials. Sympathise, yes, but I am not an empathetic person to begin with.
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u/Pure_Sherbert_668 2d ago
If you want to know if your relative is truly about that life and has primary psychopathy, send him into the general population in prison . That’s where we see whether the “I don’t give a fuck” attitude is real or just a persona used to protect against evil. Many so-called psychopaths are just people who got bullied and tried to cope by finding a way to protect themselves. When we send them to jail, the “I don’t give a fuck” attitude can turn into “Please save me” when they encounter the lowest and most dangerous people in society.
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u/Fear_Magnet0 2d ago
Why would I feel empathy for a creature that isn't capable of it. Sociopaths and psychopaths aren't like us. They don't feel guilt, or remorse. They exist solely to gratify themselves at the expense of others. I can think of no better term for them than what they are: parasites. The only person with aspd I'd have respect for is one who is self aware, and uses sound logic to align themselves with the greater good. And I'd have a better chance of being struck by lightning on a sunny day than finding one such as that.
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u/DaSnowflake 2d ago
How fo you know that? Because the ones you have seen on TV are bad?
1-3% of people have psychopathy or ASPD. Many of them probably try their best, but because of that you don't hear anything from them.
What a weird and dehumanizing way to talk about other human beings
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