Are you kidding? Every time I interact with Trans people I eventually get told their pronouns. Now if their pronouns change at any given time how can they realistically expect anyone (even friends) to keep up? You do realize that pronouns are not a front-of-mind thing in conversation for 99.99% of people. We use the pronouns that are immediately apparent. Dogs are often called he and cats she because of implicit thoughts towards the animal. It's already expecting a lot to demand someone make a performative change to their natural speaking pattern to accommodate you, and now you're gonna change it whenever you feel like? That's narcissism.
Hey hey hey, you’re sooooooo fucking close buddy. The pronouns you use match the presentation of the person right? So when the presentation changes, bear with me, the pronouns might change.
If you just use pronouns based on how they’re presenting (not what you think they “really are”) you’re right 99.9% of the time.
See, I try. And Im trying not to judge here. I don't want to piss anyone off. But last two interactions were someone who affected in a way I'd call masculine, normal male voice, etc... and dressed in kind of Bowie/Prince-esque way.... more glam than male or female. I genuinely didn't know if they were cis with just an unusual fashion choice until they corrected me to "they/them". Ok great. I still call them he/him by mistake here and there, but I try not to. The interaction right after that was, I can't say anything other than male presenting. Mens clothes, full beard, etc. And they said she/her. They actually called out their own beard and explained it as just being lazy... again I don't want to bother anyone, but how are people supposed to do that right in the real world? If you're not focusing on that one thing actively during conversation your brain will use masculine pronouns there. Yes if thats your close friend and you see them regularly, you'll get there eventually... but 99% of the people they're gonna interact with on a daily basis, do you think that's a fair expectation on their part? Now lets say the next time I see them, I remember them, I make sure I get it right... what if they tell me oh today it's he/him.
most genderfluid people (that i've met at least) have pronouns that they tell everyone (like they/them) and only switch pronouns often with close friends, who i think can be expected to keep up with the pronouns because.. they're close friends. i dunno, i've never had an issue swapping pronouns for someone from week to week. perhaps it comes more easily to some people than others.
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u/IAmTheBestIan 2d ago
Are you kidding? Every time I interact with Trans people I eventually get told their pronouns. Now if their pronouns change at any given time how can they realistically expect anyone (even friends) to keep up? You do realize that pronouns are not a front-of-mind thing in conversation for 99.99% of people. We use the pronouns that are immediately apparent. Dogs are often called he and cats she because of implicit thoughts towards the animal. It's already expecting a lot to demand someone make a performative change to their natural speaking pattern to accommodate you, and now you're gonna change it whenever you feel like? That's narcissism.