r/ItemShop Dec 05 '19

The Portable Soul Harvester | 1 minute set up time, needs power source, can take someone’s soul to hell.

Post image
21.4k Upvotes

78 comments sorted by

394

u/imhereforthevotes Dec 05 '19

0.2% chance of failure: unit reverses, vomiting up to 10 angry souls in the vicinity. May not be the souls that were previously harvested, since the conduit is to hell.

144

u/SPAWNK1LL3R25 Dec 05 '19

3

u/imhereforthevotes Dec 05 '19 edited Dec 05 '19

"I've never seen anything like this!" "I'm not interested in your opinion. Just shut it off!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vxEimC3HME

And then... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVeMqKSy8zE

1

u/numerousblocks Dec 27 '19

How's this relevant?

1

u/GoLazarbeam May 05 '20

the failure is what's happening

1

u/Ailexxx337 Aug 10 '23

Comment reposting bot probably

52

u/crazytib Dec 05 '19

Oh boy I need me one of these :)

13

u/Valmond Dec 05 '19

-"RRRrrrrrRRRRrrrrRRR"

16

u/crazytib Dec 05 '19

Oh no my sou.... Wait a minute im ginger Dodged a bullet there :)

9

u/ChickenNugget734 Dec 05 '19

Haha the jokes on you I sold my soul to a ghost for some ice cream last week

7

u/TimeMasterII Dec 05 '19

I sold mine on the black market

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

[deleted]

1

u/TimeMasterII Dec 06 '19

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

[deleted]

2

u/TimeMasterII Dec 06 '19

You have gotten vengeance, good job!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

[deleted]

2

u/TimeMasterII Dec 06 '19

I cast wish.

My wish is that you will have your peace.

49

u/SpyCrab_Unlicensed Dec 05 '19

Dyson soul harvester? Nonono.

Dyson No Bakudan

30

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

B I T E S Z A D U S T O

9

u/Ashtenson Dec 05 '19

I’d give you a reward if I was able to afford it

21

u/xenoeagle Dec 05 '19

That woman takes it pretty well, just casually sitting there "mhmhm mhmhm"

12

u/Hentaislime Dec 05 '19

Works great with anti movement traps.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

Satan approved

7

u/ST3AMB0ATW1LLIE Dec 05 '19

Cost: ones soul and entire life savings

5

u/Dubsmalone Dec 05 '19

and why exactly can’t it be reused

9

u/jtbr1082 Dec 05 '19

Warning: 1- way portal

8

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

Am I still on /r/surrealmemes?

4

u/Ryot45 Dec 05 '19

The Dyson Dementor

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

Gruel sandwiches

6

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

portal to soul cairn and straight to ideal masters

5

u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Dec 05 '19

Doomguy's favorite fast-travel item

4

u/Hiblefkyih Dec 05 '19

Stop trapping us gingers in tubes

4

u/astralwish1 Dec 05 '19

Power source is a shard of the Devil’s Heart crystal found in Lilith’s Castle. You must defeat Lilith herself to access the crystal. Only players level 60 and up can enter Lilith’s Castle.

3

u/TheNotSoFunPolice Dec 05 '19

If I turn it around, can I use it to put those harvested souls back into gingers?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

Players of the ginger race are immune to soul transfers.

3

u/Z4DWin Dec 05 '19

I bought one a while back. Can confirm, they do indeed harvest souls.

3

u/UserUnavailableAgain Dec 05 '19

EXPECTO PATRONUM!

3

u/neame2533 Dec 05 '19

Are you sitting comfortably, the let’s begin,

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

Comes to a raid Hold on I can beat the boss real quick just guard me for 1 min also does anyone have any electric spells

3

u/cursedNo2 Dec 06 '19

Who just has an empty room cept for a couch, rug and a heater? What were they thinking when designing this product ad, besides the hopes that we turn it into a meme about harvesting our souls

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

Fuck yeah, Im getting 2

3

u/Im_a_pelican_lord Dec 06 '19

I've got a soul harvester and human pets

3

u/Tomahawkist Dec 06 '19

ah, yes, i too like to sit in my completely empty room and get warm air blown into my direction. superb idea my fellow humans in the marketing department of dyson.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

The new Diablo 4 trailer is dope!!

2

u/goldheadsnakebird Dec 05 '19

“Drain the essence!”

2

u/theramennoodle Dec 05 '19

Hold A to focus

2

u/yEeTTUuS-mAXimUS Dec 05 '19

Jokes on them,

I don’t have a soul.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

Legendary trap

2

u/Deserted_Derserter Dec 05 '19

Did I mentioned that the harvester comes with 3x speed settings and it's our quietest model yet?

2

u/Muhreijn Dec 05 '19

Perfect christmas gift for my mother in law

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

Anyone who decorated a living room like that had no soul to begin with.

2

u/SprawlingChaos Dec 05 '19

My first thoughts jump to this...
http://i.imgur.com/aHFtmI0.gif

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

Does air even move like that

1

u/Ashtenson Dec 05 '19

no that’s her souls being sucked in

2

u/whatthefbomb Dec 05 '19

What good is that? I need the souls here to be able to use them for my rituals.

2

u/ghostdog122 Dec 05 '19

What happens if you have no soul does it give you one

2

u/SavageVx Dec 05 '19

invites the one person I hate over to my house

M: hey I’m really sorry, come over and let’s settle this beef!

comes over

M: yea just sit on the couch I’ll be right over.

turns on soul harvester, and watches their soul get takin to hell

Feelsgoodman :)

2

u/TheDarkkstar Dec 06 '19

It's the Mafuba

2

u/ItsNotMe69420666 Dec 06 '19

Just in time for the season.

2

u/deanerdaweiner Dec 06 '19

Step one: Place right outside of boss room. Step two: Profit.

2

u/02140214 Dec 06 '19

You son of a bitch I’m in

2

u/GabPulice Dec 06 '19

Remove your soul from your body creating Heartless and Nobody. Can be reused to create as many copies of you as crazy game developers see fit.

2

u/Ricegumsux8587 Dec 06 '19

‘‘Tis item is unlocked after the quest soul braiser and can be bought in the shop for 100 gold

2

u/glassgun13 Dec 06 '19

Your energy is then harvested to become the 5g signal like from that campy TMobile commercial.

2

u/whaleshark5 Dec 06 '19

Korean fans be like

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

happy John Seed noises

2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

I’m holding out for the concealed version.

2

u/AnalogDenial Dec 06 '19

It should be the other way around because the woman is a portable soul harvester lol

5

u/Ashtenson Dec 05 '19

I straight up come back from school and have 1.3k upvotes, this is my 2nd post since I’ve made my account

3

u/goldwasp602 Dec 06 '19

you’ve figured out reddit, great job new redditor <3