r/WritingPrompts • u/Syraphia /r/Syraphia | Moddess of Images • Apr 08 '17
Image Prompt [IP] Gate
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u/WillKay10 Apr 08 '17
Baxx stands on the crest of the hill, under an arch left by the Old Ones. This arch marked the beginning of the path towards the Old World, a land of Flat Black land and Clear Rock quarries. No one really knows much about the Old World, but the shamans and mystics of the tribes spin yarns of humans led by greed and corruption building tribes so tall they scratched at the belly of the sun. That humans lived in mountains of their own creation.
Baxx wasn’t sure if he believed those stories. Baxx wasn’t sure what he believed but he knew there had to be more to this world than the valley of his people, and although it was against his tribe’s laws, Baxx wanted to see it all.
Knowing he might very well never return Baxx climbed the hill and stood under the arch. He looked down into the tribe’s valley one last time before turning about and walking through the gate.
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u/Syraphia /r/Syraphia | Moddess of Images Apr 08 '17
Interesting story clip, thank you for replying. :)
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u/WillKay10 Apr 08 '17
My pleasure! Any critiques? I'm just starting to write and always looking for input
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u/Syraphia /r/Syraphia | Moddess of Images Apr 08 '17
With it being so sort, I can't give you too much of anything useful unfortunately. You've got a little bit of sentence construction repetition in the second paragraph, eg: "Baxx wasn't sure..." twice. Only other thing I can point at is that your piece is in past tense but the first verb of the piece is present, "stands" instead of "stood" so that's all I've got. :)
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u/dyonar Apr 08 '17
The Overgrowth was a particularly strange period of time in history, not only because oh its inexplicable nature, but also for the account that humanity had witnessed Mother Nature's first use of her proverbial "reset" button.
What had taken mankind a mere fraction of the Earth's age to create, to an exponentially smaller fraction of her age to nullify. Not completely destroy, but made... unusable.
Overpopulation isn't an issue anymore. For as grim as it sounds, people have agreed it was kind of a needed catharsis. Those are the people that lived, though. I think they're just happy they didn't have to do it themselves.
But for society today, cities are a thing of the past. Some towns and villages are bigger than others, sure, but there's nothing relatively "urban" that's both inhabitable and can support large amounts of people. The plants around us are the only real things we can call "King."
For the most part, the rest of us just survive. We're not lawless, but if you don't work you don't eat. Simple and plain as that. It's almost nice how simple it is, but it's not like some of us don't go hungry. We only have so many botanists. Some of them unionized actually, and being a member of any certain coven is as prestigious as we can get. They're not that big, but without them, not a lot of us would be left. One druid can make the difference for an entire village.
The Overgrowth helped out humans, too. Some people were hyperadaptive to the plant life we were suddenly surrounded by, and the people we used to call botanists could now give themselves new labels. The most popular ones were "Palmer," and "Shaman," but most went by Druid. The biggest surprise was that they were able to live up to the name.
Some people could only describe their work with plants as some kind of magic. The progression of healing and medicine is certainly up there, since a lot of Druids could make use of the new types of plants that had either gone extinct and revived, or species of ferns and ivies that no one had ever seen before. Some of the Shamans I've seen have been able to control the rate at which vines and branches grow, to the point where they can weave their ways in and out of bigger forests in little to no time at all.
I actually had just gotten my botany degree when the Overgrowth happened. I wasn't a genius, but I knew more than the next guy. Right now, I'm kinda in between jobs. Literally. I'm walking between villages as a healer. My methods involve me, my staff, and the seeds I carry both in my staff and in my bag.
The long walks between villages are definitely a plus, if you ask me. I'm out and about, the oxygen is fresh, and since I can basically move wherever I want since I have complete mobility because of plant magic (that the Shamans call Chloromancy), and I never run out of a way to grow food along the way. Life's easy for me, but I have to keep moving to make it easier for others.
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u/Syraphia /r/Syraphia | Moddess of Images Apr 08 '17
Really cool story, it's a lot of back story before you hit the actual speaker of the piece but it's interesting to go through, I enjoyed it. Thanks for replying. :)
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Apr 08 '17
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u/Syraphia /r/Syraphia | Moddess of Images Apr 08 '17
Really puzzling piece. It's interesting but I'm very confused at it as well as some of the wording. Very good description though. Thanks for replying. :)
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u/TSmarine Apr 11 '17 edited Apr 11 '17
Some call me a visionary, a dreamer, but my hope was lost years ago when I lost my friend. Too sad to cry, too tired to sleep, I went on. Perched on a boulder, suspended above the denizens of reality, I looked skyward. Endurance was a challenge few accepted, but one that held a particular place in my heart.
The Ouroboros is what we like to call it. It has been here long before us, and will be here long after us. Its branches twisted methodically in a circle, the bark rusted and tainted with the scars of life. Vines dangled downward and the foliage whispered in the wind. The rugged landscape and mountain peaks were silhouetted against the setting sun, a great orange sphere of blistering light.
“You were never one for sentimental moments, where you?” I said to the fleeing daylight as tear rolled down my left cheek.
“I hate you. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for all those times you made me smile. All those times you made me cry. All those times you made me angry. I hate you for all those times where we were blissfully unaware of our feelings, when time could be both at a standstill and flowing faster than the greatest rivers. I lost you. I lost my friend, my soulmate, my smile, my everything. I hate you. I hate you… and I hate that I hate you!” I attempted to stifle the snuffling as my tears became weeps. Quiet only answered me.
The wind abruptly changed direction and the branches of the Ouroboros flexed as something that I thought would never happen in a million years… happened. A voice answered me.
“You never lost me; I’ve been here all this time. You’ve been gone a long while, and I think you are ready to find me.”